Raising Girls – Parenting Wisdom From A Steve Biddulph Lecture

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Hi lovebugs,

I went to see the amazing Steve Biddulph talk last night. He’s the best-selling author of a bunch of parenting and self development books including Manhood and The Secret of Happy Children.

His talk last night was on Raising Girls.

raising girls

I was hoping me and Mr D could have a hot date together for it, but he had to do Dad-Duty, so I had to ride solo like the Lone Ranger. The Lone Ranger with his beloved horsey Toto. Was it Toto? Let me check… WTF? TONTO? And it wasn’t his horse? WHAT? WHAT WORLD HAVE I BEEN LIVING IN????

Anyways… what I’m trying to say… it was just me and my journal. Which is totally a hot date in my books anyway.

I took some illustrated notes, coz that’s how I digest information… shared them on Instagram. Just like at the Growth Summit.

Let it begin!

 

yes

I love how he started his talk:

I’m just one guy, sharing what he has experienced and learned.

If your heart or your head don’t agree with it, just leave it behind.

Wise advice for everything in life (and business).

raising girls

Two important pieces of parenting wisdom he shared:

  • The best parenting question you can use over and over again is ask your kids: “And how do you feel about that?”
    Instead of just jumping in with every solution or what’s right or wrong. Just ask them how they feel. Let them develop faith in their own gut instinct.
  • Whenever your kid tells you something (even if you feel freaked out about it), make sure you understand to use two voices.
    1. What you think in your head
    2. What you say outloud to your kids
    And always stay calmer than your kids.

self confidence

This talk was bloody good and heart breaking all at once.

I felt really panicky once Steve started talking about the issues with raising girls right now.

He said he has spent his whole career focussing on men and boys, because as a family therapist, he believed he had to work where the disaster zone was.

And now the disaster zone is girls. Teenage girls.

After I came home, I had to have a loooooong talk with Chris on the couch. I went through all the notes of the lecture and told him what all the data was saying.

It was really full on.

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I feel like I’ve been a naiive, overly-optimistic Pollyanna about the depiction of women + girls in media.

Probably because I don’t feel that affected by it – I’m pretty in love with being Leonie usually.

But when Steve spoke of the marketing research done eight years ago that found that 8 year old girls were an untapped market, highly susceptible to social approval… and decided to exploit that…

I just felt rage.

8 year old girls, man! 8 YEAR OLD GIRLS!

Kids that because of bullshit marketing start believing they need to worry about their weight and attractiveness.

That’s all kinds of messed up.

teaches girls

I guess the thing is — we know that the above stuff isn’t really true.

Well, I hope we do.

And we also all grew up in an age pre-social media where we didn’t have to feel viligant over what our schoolmates were saying about us online.

Steve spoke about kids with iphone addictions who wake up during the night to check what people think of them.

And where as we – as adults – usually have a better sense of self and have coping mechanisms – for our kids… it’s way too much, too soon.

They don’t have the emotional resilience and sense of self… because that time in their childhood is being robbed from them.

ARGH!

ages

age part 2

What each age of girlhood is all about.

This was useful to look at ages and what each girl needs at each stage.

After this part, I just felt so so so bloody grateful to be married to Mr Dawson. Grateful that my girls get to have this dad who does this stuff totally innately.

And to try and garner some patience for my now five year old to tell me continuous friendship angst stories. And know that she needs to for healthy development.

body

We can only teach our kids what we embody.

And a beautiful way to finish up. Steve reminds us that we can only teach our kids what we believe and know.

 I was thinking about how perfect this video fitted in.

Our girls have to be surrounded by images and dolls of what it is to be a real girl and woman.

The lecture was incredible. Brilliant.

I’m so grateful that Steve is in the world, sharing his much needed message.

And am very grateful to my local council for doing such an amazing thing as bringing him to our town to help parents.

Steve Biddulph

Steve is beyond wise. An utter earth angel.

Highly recommend. His voice is so needed in the world.

I would highly recommend any of his brilliant books:

Feeling like a fierce mama bear.

Big love + blessings to all of you… and your children…

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A Short List Of Things I Struggle With Even As A (Somewhat Successful) Entrepreneur

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Darling,

Ya think I’ve got it all worked out?

Think that once you get over a certain point in your business, it all gets EASY?

And that no buttons get pressed, nothing needs fixing, it’s all lollipops/sunshine/unicorns FOREVS?

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Sorry.

I don’t mean to break your illusions.

The truth is,

I don’t have it all together.

Nobody does.

As they say “New level, new devil.”

At each stage and growth of your business, there’s something new to learn and heal.

That’s why they say that business is the best spiritual growth process you can ask for.

You grow and heal… then you have to grow and heal some more.

Because your business can only get as good as you are willing to become.

Here’s a short list of stuff I’m struggling with right now:

  • I’m going through a big shift of moving from doing three roles in my company (CEO, COO and Creative Director) to just two (CEO and Creative Director). 
    My new COO is a champ + I couldn’t be more grateful for him + what he brings to the company.
    He also (at my request) tells me where I’m doing things wrong (i.e. putting my fingers in every single pie in the business, not giving him enough control, doing too much “busy” work instead of the important creative work.
    It’s bloody good and bloody button push-y all at once.
    Ha!
  • My office in our new home is great, but also loud.
    It’s underneath our living area + my darling kids sound like a deafening herd of elephants. Not conducive to the quiet sanctuary this particular constellation of cells needs to thrive and create.
    I’m thinking I might need an office outside the home now.
  • I’m tired.
    My babygirl still isn’t sleeping through the night by any means. I can’t wait to have the brainspace back that I remember returning to me when Baby #1 started sleeping through the night. Baby #1 was two and a half when that happened though. That means I’ve still got eighteen months of crappy, much broken sleep to go. Oof.
  • I’ve got a shit tonne of creative products to produce.
    We have a whole collection of planners/diaries/desk pads for 2016 goals in production.
    Which is TOTALLY MY DREAM COME TRUE. And also: I am resisting it as any good creative does.
  • Wondering: when will I ever feel caught up?
    There’s SO many books I want to read. SO many events I want to go to. SO many creations I want to make.
    SO many people I want to meet. SO many things on my to do list.
    I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed right now, which is probably compounded by that whole “HAHAHAHA we just moved across the whole country” thing!
  • I’m being really shit at turning off from work at the moment.
    I’m FLOODED with business ideas, philanthropic dreams, ideas for tweaking systems.
    I get into really good boundaries of not working on nights and weekends, but that’s flown out of the window at the moment.
    I think about work as I’m sleeping. And I LOVE my business. But I’m sure there’s a part of me that’s really missing me.
    Just plain ole me. The non-business me.

I’ve got therapy/healing with Hiro tomorrow. Thank fuck for that, right?

That’ll help sort out some of the itchy parts.

This year, I’ve tried to set myself up for success support.

What that looks like:

  • A session every two weeks with Hiro
  • A session every two weeks (on the opposite week) with Kerry
  • Quarterly readings with Karina.

As well as the usual:

  • Part time nanny
  • A rad team
  • A dear, close mastermind circle.

What I still haven’t added in to the support pie as yet and need to:

  • Massages (at least every two weeks)
  • Pilates private session (each week)
  • and probably some stuff around regular girl’s nights out to dinner/theatre etc.

It’s a constant juggle and retweaking to get everything to feel right.

And then things/needs/situations shift, and it’s a tweak again.

And of course, I’m bloody grateful for it all.

But want to be totally honest too about this:

There’s still stuff to heal + grow past + feel itchy about here too.

Growth is as constant as change. And I’m grateful for all of it. And also totally, 100% allowed to have parts where I am still struggling too.

You’re not alone.

Group hugs,

Academy Site Re-envisioning! And Lots of Other Magical Changes

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Hey loves!!!!

Holy shit, I could NOT be more excited than I am… I’ve finally gotten the vision of the next evolution of the Academy… and I ADORE it… and I hope you do too!!!

I’m attaching a sneak peek of it above in revision format!!!

HERE’S WHAT’S GOING TO BE DIFFERENT:

  • Oh dude. SO pretty.
  • SO much easier to find, read and use all the programs, resources and meditations you have available for you.
  • We’ve got more content in the works… MUCH more content… HOLY SHIT. Will keep you posted about what’s coming out!

I’m so fully committed to taking the Academy into its next beautiful incarnation… it feels really powerful… and is going to be such a shining resource for every area of your life, creativity, soul and business.

SOME RESOURCES YOU’LL BE SEEING COME OUT SOON:

  • My live recording of “10 Steps To Creating A Million Dollar” company – my keynote speech in December for Cairns Business Women’s Club
  • DYB365: aka a daily email that will take you through the action steps of doubling your business!!!!!! We’ve broken down the comprehensive Double Your Biz program into daily, actionable steps so that it actually gets implemented + gets you RESULTS (instead of languishing in some saved folder in your computer somewhere!)

 

MORE EXCITING NEWS:

  • I’m feeling super full of energy, creatively charged up, and SO excited to create really good stuff for you!!! The Academy will be remaining my core focus to pour my love onto.
  • I’ll be sharing more, and introducing you to him all, but after a long looooong recruitment process, I finally found a Chief Operations Officer to partner with. For me, I work best when I’ve got a COO to bounce ideas back and forward with. And funnily enough… it’s a DUDE! I know right! Anywaysies, you’ll meet him very soon, but he’s a very special soul with lots to teach, and I know ya’ll will love him as much as our team/my husband/every person who comes into contact with him does. It feels really great to be integrating masculine energy into what I do – he has so much to share from a business/systems/life perspective, and is a big ole heart on legs.

We’ll have the membership site out in the next two months… we’re custom coding this baby from the ground up with some REALLY cool features!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There is SO much more to come… this is a whole new beautiful beginning in so many ways… building on the last four years of magic… and taking it into something even more powerful and potent!!!!

SQUEEEEEEEE!!!!

Love,
A ridic happy Leonie
xoxoxo

P.S. SOUNDTRACK ==== COZ IT’S ONLY THE BEGINNING!!!!!

*early 90s dance party*

HYPEREMESIS GRAVIDARUM: THE ILLUSTRATED ZINE

Cover Image HG Zine

Can’t wait to download?
Click to download “Hyperemesis Gravidarum: The Illustrated Zine” here.

Dearests,

A couple of weeks ago, while I was sequestered away in the turquoise cabin by the sea, I had a feeling that something was trying to push its way forth into the world. And it was stuck. How did I know it was stuck?

I was grumpy as all get out. Kvetchy and itchy, feelers out like an octopus, groping and seeking.

I wasn’t at home with myself.

I talked to a friend about it.

I feel a bit like the Velveteen Rabbit,

I said.

Am I real?

They were kind and they listened and they reassured me that I was a Skin Horse.

And then they said:

“You still seem a bit traumatised about your pregnancy with Beth? Can you write about it?”

“No, the words won’t come.”

“Draw it out?”

“Ugh. I could try.”

(Obviously, I was resistant as fuck.)

But I thought:

What harm could there be?

Anything better than feeling like this.

Better than feeling adrift at sea, my boat untethered from the port of my soul.

So I took a black pen, and started. It all begins with a dot, then a line.

And the dripping tap of words became a gushing tsunami

and I wrote and I drew and I wrote and I drew

late at night on the couch by my love
in the bright light afternoons at the cabin by the sea

and I wrote and I drew and I cried

and then I bought an old typewriter

and typed and typed and cried and typed

until all the words were out,
all the stories told,
all the loud roar
was quiet inside me
and my boat
drifted slowly home
into port.

This is the story of Hyperemesis Gravidarum. The story of a pregnancy lived with a debilitating illness. The story of vomit.

It’s not an inspirational story, I don’t think.

I didn’t want to make it one.

I wanted it to be roar. Raw. Angry. Vulnerable. Painful.

Affirmation-less.

I just wanted it to be my story. My story written and told. Wrested down on paper.

I offer it for any woman who has ever been through H.G.. Or who is going through it right now. Or anyone with a debilitating illness. Or any woman who wants to understand.

I just offer it.

Click to download
HYPEREMESIS GRAVIDARUM: THE ILLUSTRATED ZINE

With all my self,