stuffistrugglewith

Darling,

Ya think I’ve got it all worked out?

Think that once you get over a certain point in your business, it all gets EASY?

And that no buttons get pressed, nothing needs fixing, it’s all lollipops/sunshine/unicorns FOREVS?

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Sorry.

I don’t mean to break your illusions.

The truth is,

I don’t have it all together.

Nobody does.

As they say “New level, new devil.”

At each stage and growth of your business, there’s something new to learn and heal.

That’s why they say that business is the best spiritual growth process you can ask for.

You grow and heal… then you have to grow and heal some more.

Because your business can only get as good as you are willing to become.

Here’s a short list of stuff I’m struggling with right now:

  • I’m going through a big shift of moving from doing three roles in my company (CEO, COO and Creative Director) to just two (CEO and Creative Director). 
    My new COO is a champ + I couldn’t be more grateful for him + what he brings to the company.
    He also (at my request) tells me where I’m doing things wrong (i.e. putting my fingers in every single pie in the business, not giving him enough control, doing too much “busy” work instead of the important creative work.
    It’s bloody good and bloody button push-y all at once.
    Ha!
  • My office in our new home is great, but also loud.
    It’s underneath our living area + my darling kids sound like a deafening herd of elephants. Not conducive to the quiet sanctuary this particular constellation of cells needs to thrive and create.
    I’m thinking I might need an office outside the home now.
  • I’m tired.
    My babygirl still isn’t sleeping through the night by any means. I can’t wait to have the brainspace back that I remember returning to me when Baby #1 started sleeping through the night. Baby #1 was two and a half when that happened though. That means I’ve still got eighteen months of crappy, much broken sleep to go. Oof.
  • I’ve got a shit tonne of creative products to produce.
    We have a whole collection of planners/diaries/desk pads for 2016 goals in production.
    Which is TOTALLY MY DREAM COME TRUE. And also: I am resisting it as any good creative does.
  • Wondering: when will I ever feel caught up?
    There’s SO many books I want to read. SO many events I want to go to. SO many creations I want to make.
    SO many people I want to meet. SO many things on my to do list.
    I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed right now, which is probably compounded by that whole “HAHAHAHA we just moved across the whole country” thing!
  • I’m being really shit at turning off from work at the moment.
    I’m FLOODED with business ideas, philanthropic dreams, ideas for tweaking systems.
    I get into really good boundaries of not working on nights and weekends, but that’s flown out of the window at the moment.
    I think about work as I’m sleeping. And I LOVE my business. But I’m sure there’s a part of me that’s really missing me.
    Just plain ole me. The non-business me.

I’ve got therapy/healing with Hiro tomorrow. Thank fuck for that, right?

That’ll help sort out some of the itchy parts.

This year, I’ve tried to set myself up for success support.

What that looks like:

  • A session every two weeks with Hiro
  • A session every two weeks (on the opposite week) with Kerry
  • Quarterly readings with Karina.

As well as the usual:

  • Part time nanny
  • A rad team
  • A dear, close mastermind circle.

What I still haven’t added in to the support pie as yet and need to:

  • Massages (at least every two weeks)
  • Pilates private session (each week)
  • and probably some stuff around regular girl’s nights out to dinner/theatre etc.

It’s a constant juggle and retweaking to get everything to feel right.

And then things/needs/situations shift, and it’s a tweak again.

And of course, I’m bloody grateful for it all.

But want to be totally honest too about this:

There’s still stuff to heal + grow past + feel itchy about here too.

Growth is as constant as change. And I’m grateful for all of it. And also totally, 100% allowed to have parts where I am still struggling too.

You’re not alone.

Group hugs,