Hola my darlingheart,
I hope you don’t find this odd. It’s just how we roll.
When I was little, we would go on family picnics.
But not to normal picnic places – like parks or beaches.
No, we’d have family picnics at the cemetery. We’d spend days on blankets, wandering between tombstones, reading the names, the ages, the dates.
My beautiful Great Aunt Lucy, a fire-haired fairy, would come with us in her best finery – swirling long dresses, looping necklaces and wrists filled with wide bangles. She’d dance her way through the graves, and say:
I just love coming here. It’s just like visiting old friends!
You see, Proserpine Cemetery isn’t just any cemetery – it’s got our ancestors in it. Five generations on both sides of my family have lived here in Proserpine.
And now my brother lives there.
But, you know, he doesn’t really live there.
He’s everywhere.
But we still go visit him there anyway.
Like Aunty Lucy says,
it’s just like visiting friends.
There’s been times we’ve visited with all our tribe – grandmother, parents, nieces, nephews, siblings, partners.
We sit around on his grave, and we laugh and talk.
Some people leave flowers on graves.
Our family?
You can always tell we’ve visited my brother by the lollies being left there.
Usually butterscotch.
Today, my big sister, me & Ostara went to visit Starry’s Uncle Clinty.
We didn’t leave butterscotch this time.
Instead, we left a slice of chocolate coconut ice.
And ate some ourselves.
Delicious.
I think Clinty likes ze variety.
And I introduced Starry to her Uncle Clinty.
But it was less about introducing and more about…
Remember how your Uncle Clinty guided you down out of the stars to us?
He loves you so very much.
We all do.
And we took family photos.
Because that’s how we roll.
And we talked to our brother.
Asked his advice.
Told him about everything.
We laughed.
And we ate more Chocolate Coconut Slice.
And we sat and looked out over the mountains.
And I said:
Ya know? I don’t think Clinty is any more here than he is everywhere else. I feel him just as much in the mountains as I do here.
And sis said:
I know. I feel him everywhere. We don’t have to visit anywhere to be with him.
And it’s true.
My brother is all around us. And we can talk to him anytime. He is just as much right here as he is right there.
But it’s fun to go visit friends anyway.
And have cemetery picnics, and eat chocolate coconut ice.
I’m so grateful – for all of this.
The more I travel in this world, the more I see that all there really is is love.
All the love in the universe,
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
A few years ago, I took my family on a road trip through southern NSW to visit the place names in my family history and to visit as many of the graves as we could! My mother’s family came out here as convicts in 1816, so their descendants are scattered in pioneer cemeteries in quiet hamlets.
I cannot describe the sense of peace I felt as we visited the places where all those names on my charts and certificates and old photos were lying. In one place, where many people from two family lines lay together, I felt like I had gone home – even though I had never been to that place before.
In some sites, there were no headstones, no grave markings to show us exactly where, but you could feel their spirits nearby, thanking us for coming and welcoming us to the home “town”.
My children were relaxed a comfortable, respectful but playful.
There was absolutely no fear, just the same feeling you get at a family reunion.
Wish we had left them some lollies
We used to do the same thing Leonie, where my 2 babies are buried. There was a pasture close by and my toddler sons would amble over to pet the horses. They’d help cleaning the markers and we’d laugh and cry. I was upset when we moved away, but I finally figured out and I didn’t HAVE to go there to feel close. They’re always in my heart.
I’m so sorry you’ve lost your brother. I had two and have lost them both. I especially feel my oldest brother with me everywhere. I can hear him laugh at my craziness and it makes me smile every time
I know he hears me and hangs with me. Such love ♥
I visit my boyfriend Lyall’s grave at the lawn cemetery at Vinegar Hill (a significant place in Australia’s history). The view from there is beautiful. I play Beatles songs and sit talking to him. I’ve taken my children with me. I write letters to him which I tuck under the plate. I don’t go on the anniversary of his passing, I go to celebrate his life. All 21 wonderful years and 3 amazing years with me. I believe he’s everywhere too, watching and waiting.
I think cemeteries are beautiful places, seems like some of us roll the same way!
Much love,
Liza xxx
What a great story, Leonie! And what a great custom!
I agree~ our departed loved ones aren’t really departed, they’re still here, all around…
Christine
When I was young and my mother was alive we would often visit the cemetary where my grandmother and uncles were buried. I never found this creepy—-but connected to family. My parents are both buried back in Pittsburgh and I don’t get to visit their gravesites. But it’s true—-they are ever present. I am watching a Diane Stein DVD –a Reiki class. In the beginning she mentions sending distant Reiki to those who have passed this plane of existence. It is all another way to stay connected by love! Blessings! How cool is it that you live in a town named after a goddess?
I love this post, Leonie. Life and love are not just the happy things, but the sad things, too….I had felt my dad’s presence all around me today (as I often do, now that he’s been gone) and then I read your post today, and it seemed to confirm that yes, that’s the way it is…love never ends. It keeps going on. We are being watched over by our beautiful angels.
Thank you,
Shelly
I love visiting cemeteries, but there is one in particular – Colonial Park Cemetery in Savannah, GA that I am always drawn to. I’ve sat. I’ve drawn. I’ve had picnics. I just find it so beautiful and so peaceful. I love to visit the gravestones and wonder about the peoples’ lives. I always feel like the spirits appreciate me (and others) being there. I don’t exactly know how to describe it, but I ALWAYS have to go when I’m in Savannah and I always feel centered and calm and peaceful afterwards.
I love going to cemeteries too. It is true our loved ones are everywhere. There is something peaceful and loving to see family there. Pay our respects, let them know they are never forgotten.
(This comment you can edit out or combine with my previous one, but what a sweet little munchkin your daughter is! I only noticed later on your about page that she is just a bit older than my baby, who was born mid-April. Wishing you all the best with your family!)
… I imagined having pressed submit before. Ah well, here’s to noticing that you can only do things properly part of the time.
What I meant to actually comment was that the post was beautiful, and it reminded me of wanting to introduce my daughter to her Auntie K. I’m not in the habit of visiting, since she is wherever I remember her, but I’d love for my baby to feel at ease at the cemetery. Plus, the autumn colors are full ablaze here, so it would be a fabulous place for an outing! Thank you for this post. <3