Dearest possum pie,

This is probably the most random thing I’ve ever written. AND THAT IS SAYING SOMETHING.

Also, potentially one of the greatest. Also: THAT IS SAYING SOMETHING.

It’s a whole bunch of shit that I think about before going to sleep and I think

“Oh, I should write to them and tell them!”

“Them” being you. My peeps. My tribe.

This is like being in my brain.

It’s a fun, exotic, kooky place. It always amuses me.

Also: happy anniversary to my ridunkulously handsome/spunky/sage husband. It’s our 12 year snogaversary and our 2 year wedding anniversary today. He’s my favourite dreamboat/teacher/student/muse/soulmate/best friend. I had no idea (maybe an inkling) that that hot IT guy at work would be my future husband and impregnator. We celebrated our special day by helping my parents-in-law change light bulbs this morning, and this afternoon I’ve buggered off down the mountain to a cafe to do some writing. And I (of course) forgot my wallet. So he ended up driving all the way down the mountain to give it to me. I thanked him with a public snog and perve. He has nice legs and a nice heart and I like that in a man.

ANYWAYS.

May I present to you: A Cornucopia of Fucking Random + Delightful!

THE LEONIE DICTIONARY OF WORDS

I often get people say “Erm WTF didjajustsay? Is that English?”

Nope… it’s Leonie-ism. My special own lil creative, rambunctious language.

And because you are my BFFs, I’m sending you the decoder to it.

Behold, this is what the shit I say means.

THE LUSH + LYRICAL LIST OF LEONIE LANGUAGE (BECAUSE ALLITERATION IS FUN!!)

Radfest = so rad it’s like an orgasm of radness.

Gigglesnort = when you get the giggles so hard you snort. I’m not judging you for it. I do it too.

Ridunkulous = ridiculous. As in: ridunkulous good.

OMFG = Oh My Flowering Genius. Oh hang on, nope, that’s not it. OHMYFUCKINGGOD!

ERMAGERD = OMG = Oh My Gawd!

Dobleros = Moolah = Money = Gold Coinage.

ICGLTASS = I Could Give Less Than A Single Shit = I don’t believe I care much for that.

Hunky Love = Hottest Man On The Planet = My Husband.

Holy dinger = Holy crap = Term of surprise or intense emotion

WADDAFA = WTF = Why The Face (a little Modern Family joke there for those of you playing along at home).

That’s So Unicorn Right Now = Holy Fuck I LOVE IT!

Laydeez = Ladies = Womenfolk = Dear Sisters Of The Holy Vagina

#ladyboner = I do believe I find that very attractive.

knackered = Australian-ese for “golly gosh I am tired!”

fortnight = Australian/Queen’s English for two weeks (i.e. “I get a #ladyboner at every fortnight at least”)

My guilty pleasure website:

Buzzfeed. SERIOUSLY. SO FUNNY.

Other (not so guilty) pleasures that I will never, ever apologise for:

• I don’t watch any movies except romantic comedies that have a happy ending.
  Most movies (including kid’s movies) are too scary for me. I fucking LOVE formulaic, bland movies. I get too emotionally involved and distraught if it doesn’t have a happy ending. My brain just doesn’t GET that it’s not real life.
• I read a LOT of romance novels.
  It’s like taking a brain holiday, otherwise I’m all switched on entrepreneur brain 24/7. I read about 85% Victorian romance, 10% Western romance, 5% assorted trashy smut. It’s pretty much the greatest ever. (Last year, I read over 200!)
• I read fan fiction.
  Here’s how that goes: I get obsessed with a movie or a TV show. I think about it a lot. Consider the relationships and deeper meanings of everything. Read up on all of the characters/trivia/miscellaneous on Wikipedia. Consume every piece of Fan Fiction there is available.
• I have an addictive personality.
  I’m a Scorpio which happens to be the most addiction-riddled star sign. I happened to miss the predilection drugs/grog/smokes though. My predilection instead is to reading/specific food textures/superfoods/creating/obsessing over TV shows and movies.

BRITCOM SHOWS YOU SHOULD WATCH

When Marissa was here for our first team planning retreat, we gleefully introduced her to the plethora of British TV comedy shows that we love and adore.

And honestly?

It think Britcom is so dang underrated. It’s funny + dry + weird + delightful.

Here’s the ones I reckon you should start with:

Miranda

She’s pretty much my best friend ever. If you don’t love this show and squee over it, we probably can’t be friends. I’m sorry, but THAT is how strongly I feel about this show.

This is probably one of my favourite moments on TV. EVER. It’s like she can SEE INTO MY SOUL:

Gavin and Stacey

Honestly? Even just watching Episode 1 of Series 1 is enough. It’s like the best movie ever made just in that.

There’s romance! And comedy!

But you’ll keep watching. Because it’s bloody irresistible. Perfect characters. Perfect lines. Perfect everything.

#BRINGBACKGAVINANDSTACEY!

The IT Crowd

When I met my hunky love, he was the IT guy at my work.

This is the greatest IT department show ON THE PLANET.

Stella

There’s drama! There’s love! There’s kindness! There’s made up words! There’s stunning scenery! There’s sexual chemistry between peeps in their 40s that’s kind of riveting and hard to look away from.

It’s all there!

Doc Martin

My hunky love found this show for me because (in his words) “I wanted to find you something light and quiet and gentle for you to relax and enjoy.” #ladyboner for his thoughtfulness!

And it is. It’s kind of like if Sheldon Cooper got older + moved to Britain + fell in love with a school teacher.

It’s like watching porcupines trying to cuddle each other. It’s real + stunning + awkward.

I don’t know why I’m so obsessed by it but I am.

I love the whole idea of two people trying desperately to love each other and being so effing flawed and baggage-ridden.

Modern Day Pride and Prejudice, with significantly less Colin Firth. But Martin Clunes IS oddly sexy. So there is that.

I GUESS IF I’M TALKING TV, I SHOULD SAY WHAT OTHER SHOWS I LOVE

But I can’t be assed linking to them. So if you’re really called, you can play LMGTFY.

New Girl.

Beyond perfect. I thought it was way too hipster for me judging from the ads. But NO! It’s actually funny + smart + spunky + delicious!

Arrested Development.

And YAY! They are doing another season! At LONG LAST!

Community

Adorable. Full adorable.

The Office

Both UK + US editions. But I’m more obsessive about the US version because it’s a longer term obsession.

Pam + Jim = Pim forevaaa!

The Voice Australia.

But only during the turn-the-chairs rounds. After that I just start getting depressed about all the people who are getting kicked out. That’s the point in time I start reverting back to reading the latest Tessa Dare romance novel on my Kindle and saying ICGLTASS.

MY SACRED MANTRA:

Fuckem.

If someone doesn’t like me/my work/my ideas/my overexcitable personality/that they think I’m a sellout/that they think I’m annoying or weird/how I look/who I am/that I swear/that I’m pretty much a happy labrador in a human body?

Fuckem.

I don’t believe for one single second that I am supposed to be anyone but Leonie.

I really, really fucking LOVE being Leonie. I love being her best friend. I think she is funny as shit and smart and a determined motherfucker and an all round good person.

I’m okay if other people don’t see that. What they think of me ain’t none of my damn business.

What is my damn business is being who I am and loving the shit out of me (which is pretty damn easy, really!)

I don’t believe my personality/body/anything should be any different. I was born this way for a reason. And I believe and trust in that reason.

And of course, I’m totally down with optimising shit and healing my own stuff.

But I don’t do it because I’m not good enough or that I need to change in order to be loved.

I do it because I love to heal and grow.

All it does is bring me closer to myself.

And I love that.

THE END

Was that the greatest or was that the greatest?

Now get out there and go ask out that hot girl/guy you’ve been perving on for ages.

I did. It was the best thing I ever did.

All my love + courageous fist-pumps,

Hola party people!

Each year I share some of my big goals + dreams for the year from my own 2013 Create Your Incredible Year workbook + planner.

It’s May and I still haven’t shared ‘em. I got a bit embroiled in creative birthing to get my biggest goals launched – my new website and the new Amazing Biz and Life Academy.

And now they are both out in the world, it’s the perfect time to share with you what some of my 2013 goals are… and also check back in to see where I’m at with them!

I’ve been noticing a heap of gorgeous goddesses over on Instagram lately doing an instinctive, organic review of the goals they wrote in their 2013 planners, it’s pretty amazing to see how many of their goals have already come true.

I’ve included business, body, family, love, adventures + friendship goals into this mix.

So here we goes party peeps… what my goals are and where I’m at with them!

ADVENTURES

• Take the historic train up the mountain with Chris and Starry
• Visit the Daintree
• Go on flight at coffee plantation
• Go to Yungaburra
• Go bowling
• Go to Yungaburra markets
• Go to Mareeba markets
• Go on holiday by myself
• Have a beach holiday

FUN TIMES + FRIENDSHIP

• See dolphins again
• Have 2 1 friends visit on holidays (1 down! My bestie visited!)
• Make friends and have fun!
• Make 3 good new friends
• 3 months holidays (I’ve taken a couple of weeks of holidays already, not sure if I need or want to do longer month ones though – I am getting so much better at filling my well on a daily/weekly basis now!)
• Feel connected with dear old friends
• Have amazing, inspiring entrepreneur soul sisters to uplift me
• Find my women’s circle
• For me, Chris and Starry to have a wonderful network of friends and community here

FAMILY, HAPPINESS + HOME

• Try out extra playgroup
• Get pregnant (obv, this is a new goal )
• Name our place
• Grow a garden
• Eat own passionfruit
• Grow a pumpkin or watermelon patch (got watermelon seeds to propagate to about two inches… and then my hunky love mowed over them. Ha! Next summer I’ll be coming at the watermelon patch like a spider monkey!)
• Research Sacred Sabbath (read this book, it rocked. Tried a couple of others, they didn’t give me the jollies. Will keep researching!)
• Cultivate a morning routine
• Make a firepit
• Write 12 letters to Starry
• Send 52 14 cards (done a fair whack of them already WOOT)
• Have a connected, loving, intimate soulmate and best friend relationship with Chris (status update: dude, I have not loved him more than I do right now. And I know that will keep on growing. It really does just get better and better!)
• Make at least 12 fun crafts with Starry (already done, but will keep doing!)
• Be a happy mom with a great, loving relationship with Starry (and new wee baby soul that’s wanting to come through!)
• Go to a concert with Chris
• Feng Shui our bedroom
• Eat own bananas
• Read books to Starry every day
• Buy Ostara real scissors
• Make at least 12 things with Starry
• Organise getting our keyboard sent
• Have 52 Friday Date Nights
• December: 2013 Instagram album
• December: Have a glorious Christmas season
• December: Make another advent calendar + do it!

CREATIVITY

• Make a doll
• Do a painting workshop
• Make Angel + Charlie dog toys
• 52 Artist’s dates
• Find music I am deeply excited about
• Make beautiful art that sings to my soul
• Write a novel
• Re-release “73 Lessons Every Goddess Must Know”
• November: Do Art Every Day Month
• Repair hole in wedding shawl
• Find a magazine I love to read
• Make my office a sanctuary
• Love writing again
• Feel like I’m a divine channel to Spirit again
• Feel creatively inspired, invigorated and productive
• Embrace pop music
• Make a felted journal
• Find a TV show to obsess over (Doc Martin)
• Adore creating

BODY

• Get yearly dental
• Take care of my body, nervous system and soul as a first priority
• Summer: Try aqua aerobics
• Weekly yoga or pilates
• Get osteopathy for my jaw
• Get 12 massages
• Get skin check-up

SPIRITUALITY

• Feel centred and aligned with my soul in every area of my life
• Keep learning from deep, sage, wise and spiritual teachers
• Be spiritually inspired and invigorated
• Have a spiritual experience (circle, retreat etc)
• Find my women’s circle
• Keep doing fortnightly healing mentoring
• Deepen my spiritual journey
• Get a tattoo
• Get a year reading

FINANCE

• Institute monthly financial reporting (I’m doing it already, but want more structure around it)
• Half yearly financial review
• Put $x into savings
• See a financial advisor
• Continue learning about money, finances + investment

TO INVEST IN

• Get iPhone screen fixed
• Get air-conditioning in office
• Rainbow chandelier
• Outdoor lounge for back verandah
• New washer/dryer
• Get screen doors installed
• Get air-conditioning in hall

BUSINESS GOALS

• Double business in size to 7 figures a year
• Release Amazing Biz and Life Academy
• Rebrand website
• Have a planning retreat
• New Academy membership site
• Create new programs for Academy
• Create intensive Six Figure Business program for Academy
• Make a massive difference in the lives and businesses of 30 000 clients this year
• Continue to spend 25% of time in education
• Continue to make a massive impact through philanthropy through money + service donations

WOO HOO!!!

What a list!

Feeling massively inspired after re-reading all that!

I really want to invite you to check back in with your own workbook goals (and if you haven’t done them yet – it’s totally not too late at all. It’s only too late if you don’t do them at all! We get lovelies investing in the workbook every single week!)

And if you decide to do a blog post/Instagram photo/Twitter about what goals of yours are coming true… make sure you let me know about it on FB, Twitter or Instagram and I’ll repost them so everyone else can get inspired too!

Let’s go make miracles happen dearest!!!

So much love always,

Hola lovebugs,

I’ve been feeling a little bit nervous about sharing this.

Quite vulnerable.

And yet, I couldn’t not share it either.

I’ve been sharing about life + spirit + biz since the beginning.

I’m pretty much an open book.

So I couldn’t not tell you all this either.

Plus, it’s pretty dang hilarious when ya think about it really.

*

Not so long ago, I shared with you my decision to only have one child.

Writing that post and sharing it with you was immensely healing for me.

It was really a call for all of us to make + celebrate + love our own decisions, our own choices.

I’d felt so much external pressure to want another child that it was a great relief to say:

No. This is my truth. This is how I feel about that right now. This is my choice.

After writing it, I just felt a deep sense of peace with my decision.

Like I didn’t have to fight anymore as to why my choice was okay. That it was okay for me to make a decision that was right for me.

It was like liberating myself from some ancient family patterns about not being able to choose.

*

When I wrote it, I didn’t believe for a single moment that I would want any more.

But I know enough about life now to never say never. (Even when I really did believe it would be never!)

So I wrote:

I’m immensely grateful that I have a choice. And that I’ve found peace with what I am wanting right now.

I also understand that one day I might completely change my mind. I don’t believe I will at all, but I know enough to know that the universe is wild and expansive and that unseen vistas appear at every corner.

*

So I wrote it. And felt damn great about it.

Hurrah! I claimed my truth! I claimed what I wanted!

And then just a few weeks after I wrote it…

(ha! I’m sure it’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for!)

A little baby started knocking on the door of my spirit.

*

(Oh Universe. YOU. YOU ARE SO FUNNY!

I love how much you teach me. I love how much you show me the way.)

*

So this lil soul started talking to me.

Like, hippy style. Soul to soul talkin’.

One night, I was trying to go to sleep when a vision of a baby appeared.

And I was all (oh so graceful)

Oh fuck THAT. That is SO NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

I figured after three years of saying NONONONONONONO that the universe would have gotten the picture by now.

And I tried to ignore the vision and go to sleep.

Hours later, I still wasn’t asleep.

(I’m usually asleep within minutes of closing my eyes… so not being able to pop off to sleep was completely bewildering to me!)

*

The next night, more of the same.

Again, I was very graceful about the whole thing:

Look. NO NO NO NO NO. I’m NOT HAVING ANOTHER BABY! Sorry mate, but you’re not coming through me! You’ll need to find someone else!

But there it was. This very beautiful little baby.

And there was so much of me that didn’t want to have another one. So much a part of me that wrapped having a baby up in the experience of too much pain + heartbreak.

And there was also a little part of myself that was already in love.

And this sweet little soul said to me:

What if it was different this time around? Could you possibly imagine what it would be like if you did it differently?

And this little yearning on my heart said it was time to imagine.

So I took a leap of faith, and I imagined.

I imagined what it would be like having another baby knowing what I know now.

I imagined what it would be like if I gave myself the support I needed.

I imagined what it would be like if I didn’t have to go through the extraordinarily painful time of moving back to my hometown with babe in arms, only to witness my parents divorce and my family of origin implode.

I imagined what it would be like if I didn’t have to go through the painful (but needed) soul lessons that I did the first time.

*

And at the end of the imagining, there it was, the simple profound truth:

it could be different this time.

And that it WOULD be different this time around:

I’m not the person who I was three years ago.

I’ve done an immense amount of healing work thanks to time, counselling, Hiro, kinesiology, acupuncture + therapy.

I’m just not who I was before. I don’t have to go back and do all those hard lessons again.

I know how to find and give myself the support I need. I know I don’t need to suffer to be a parent any more. I know what I need now to be healthy and happy and filled with a love of life. I know how to set boundaries in my own life. I know I don’t have to give myself away to my child or my parents or anyone else. I know that I belong to me.

*

As soon as I knew that…

the world shifted.

And I saw this beautiful soul and I knew I dearly wanted to be the mother of it.

And I saw that it could be an immensely healing experience for me to experience pregnancy, birth + mothering a newborn with this new person that I am.

And that yes, oh yes, I very much wanted this baby.

(I’ve got tears running down my face as I write this.)

*

I hadn’t really believed that there was another soul out there that was destined to be mine. It hadn’t talked to me yet, it hadn’t shown itself. I mistakenly thought that was because it wasn’t there. But that wasn’t true:

It just wasn’t the right time yet.

*

My world did change that night.

I know those words can be bandied about.

But it is true for me.

The constellation of my cells rearranged from mama of one child into the mama of two.

Where there wasn’t before, there was a space in my life for this little soul to emerge into.

There was a space in my heart that sung for joy to see it.

*

After hours of staring into the darkness, quivering with excitement, I woke up Chris late at night to tell him, tears running down my face.

The poor dear was tired, so I promised him we’d speak in the morning.

And I slept that night with this feeling inside me that just as I’d managed to prophecy:

the universe is wild and expansive and that unseen vistas appear at every corner.

My vista had appeared.

*

When Chris was awake enough the next morning, I told him simply:

Sweetheart, I think I might be ready to have another baby.

And he laughed. The dear man has listened to me talk for three years about me feeling like I only wanted one child. He’d been kind, and understanding, and deeply compassionate. We’d talked for hours upon hours about this.

So he was a little bit unsure about just how serious I was.

Hon, I’m actually really serious. There’s a little soul who has been talking to me. And before I commit to my decision… I wanted to check in with you. I need to know that you’d be fully on board with having another baby as well. Can you think about it for the next few days and let me know your decision?

So he did. Bless his heart. I knew he was open to having another child, but I also wanted him to feel really clear about his decision.

I really wanted it to be a whole-hearted decision from both of us.

And he sat with it.

And I sat with it.

*

And on day three, he told me:

I do. I do want another baby.

And I said

I do

too.

And it’s just as beautiful an I do as the two times we got married (the first at a courthouse, the second days later by the sea). Just as much of a commitment to our love, our future, our family.

*

Days later, we were talking in the car.

And I asked him:

“Did you always want to have two kids.”

“I did. I always felt in my heart that we were destined to have more than one.”

“But in all those years of me telling you I only wanted one, you didn’t tell me that.”

“I know. I knew I just needed to respect your decision, and support you. I know it was a hard time for you the first time around. You are the one who would need to be pregnant and give birth, so I knew you needed to be able to make the decision you needed to make.”

I was speechless for a long while after that.

I was really touched by his grace, and love. I feel all the times he told me that it was okay for me to want what I wanted. That he understood my pain of Post Natal Depression and truly shitty family stuff, and how interwoven it was for me in the experience of having a child. He had my back. He was on my team. He honoured me as a woman, and as a mother, and as a female who really needed to have power over her own reproductive choices.

I actually am teary about that right now (bit of a wet post this one is… lucky it’s not a letter because it’d be all tear stained!)

Now I want to say this, lest you think my husband is a perfect being: we have a very human love relationship. We’ve fought and yelled and nearly broken up and deeply misunderstood each other. For a long time in the early years I didn’t know if we actually did have what it took to be a lifelong love relationship – we seemed to bump up against each other’s pains so often, we spoke different heart languages and argued every single week. I was very young and silly, he was not as young but still silly. We had so much emotional maturing to do.

And we did it together. We grew + got better at communicating. We healed our own shit. We learned how to get on each other’s team. We did counselling separately and together.

For some reason, we just stayed together. I so believed that I could see his highest self and that he could see mine, it was just our human bullshit getting in the way.

And I was right.

I wasn’t right about a lot of things – I was wrong about believing that he was supposed to save me, I was wrong about what love was supposed to look like, I was wrong that if he didn’t understand me he was “being an asshole.”

I didn’t see him for who he was because I had so much of my own stuff in between me and him, and he had so much of his own stuff too.

I see him more clearly now.

I don’t see him perfectly of course.

And I think it’s pretty exciting to think of how much more clearly I’ll see him in ten years, and twenty years, and fifty years.

I see him as himself. I see the immense grace and love he gives me. I see the deep blessings and lessons he has taught me (even when I railed on them to begin with).

I see his power and light and I see how he can take care of himself and his feelings (I used to think that was my job many years ago! How funny is that!)

I see him as being human and flawed and marvelous and magnificent all at once.

He continues to surprise me with his grace, wisdom + support.

And his support of my mothering-choices has been a very dear and deep blessing for me.

*

So, I got a little sidetracked there. Talking about love.

But it’s all important. It’s all inter-related.

So we decided.

We decided we were ready for another baby.

And I wrote a really, really long list of all the things that caused me pain the first time around.

All the things that made me think

“Fuck me! I can’t do this again!”

And I wrote a plan.

A plan of support. Of how I could do it differently. Of how I could be softer + kinder to myself.

It feels really effing good to have all my fears + pain written out, and how it could be different this time around.

*

I’m not going to do pregnancy, parenting or birth “perfectly” this time.

I’m not going to follow any theology except my own.

I will not prescribe to any parenting beliefs that do not serve me.

I’m doing this thing judgment-free.

I’m doing it with a huge amount of support and with self-care boundaries in place.

I’m not going to sacrifice myself on a sword to be a mama. I just don’t think that shit is good or happy for anyone.

I don’t know if I’m going to talk about exactly what parenting choices I make this time around (whilst we did it with Ostara, co-sleeping, breastfeeding, attachment parenting + natural birthing are all up in the air for a range of well-thought, well-discussed reasons that are very specific to physical conditions I have and what is right for my family this time around.)

I am absolutely not okay with any judgments/advice about this. I will delete and block any judgmental remarks about what I will or will not do this time around. I am not okay with any kind of “this one way of parenting will save the world and everything other way will fuck up your kids” kind of evangelism. I am not down with that kind of militant negativity at all. I reckon it’ll kill ya way quicker than anything else will. In fact, I know it will because I lived with that kind of judging “perfect mother” Nazi in my head and it broke my heart + my nervous system.

What I AM down with is:

Peeps letting peeps making whatever choices they need. Peeps respecting every family makes their own choices that are best for them. (I like this particular post on MODG about it actually.)

Women letting other women be who they are and do what they wish to do. Trusting in each other to make our own decisions.

I think this is all a really wonderful journey of learning complete acceptance for every possibility. Of knowing not too hold too firm to anything… except for love.

I never ever ever would have considered not breastfeeding… until I was struck with a very odd condition that makes my bones dislocate out of their sockets because I was breastfeeding. (FUN, RIGHT?)

And then I realised: hey, everyone has really, really specific needs. And blanket ideas of how things SHOULD work aren’t helpful to anyone. In fact, they often bring a great deal of pain.

*

Bodies are really, really different for everyone and need different things.

I talked to my new doctor yesterday. Gave her my long + complicated history of all the cray cray body things that happened last time (hyperaemeia, hypermobility = recurring dislocations of pelvis + jaw during pregnancy + breastfeeding, cystic breasts which resulted in constant blocked ducts and chronic recurring mastitis (8 times in a year including 3 late night emergency visits), pre and post natal depression and anxiety thanks to a sensitive nervous system that produces too much adrenaline when taxed). (We didn’t even get to touch on all the bullshit life stuff that went down!)

And she said:

You know Leonie, I completely understand why it took you a long time to be ready for number two. That’s a whole lot of really difficult things to cope with on top of having a baby. I’m going to be here to support you and any choices you make for this to be better this time around.

It was a real relief. Deep relief. To feel that much support.

*

It took me a long time to be ready to have another baby.

Because it took me a long, long time to understand…

that I don’t have to do it perfectly.

That I can be kind to myself during this process.

That I can give myself what I need during it.

I feel that now. I get that now. At last, at long last.

*

Every mama is making the best decision she can for her own family, and I reckon we need to love and support the shit out of her for it.

Maybe that’s something my husband can teach the wonderful lesson of:

That he let me decide what was okay for me. He loved me enough to let me be who I was and feel what I felt and need what I needed.

And that it’s also really, really okay for us to make a choice. And then make another choice.

*

Phwoar, this got a bit heavy laydeez. But so much is interwoven in it all.

*

I was sitting at mama craft morning the other day.

And I told the womenfolk there:

Ya, I think I’m ready for number 2.

And they were all:

WTF! I thought you were totally set on having just 1!

And I was all apologetic and:

I know! I know! And then… I changed my mind. I usually never backflip on decisions!

And one of them said, so sagely:

Ya know, that’s okay too you know. It’s okay to choose and choose again.

And another said:

It’s okay for you to do this differently you know. Every mama must.

*

This is one of the longest-winded-winding posts ever.

But I needed to get that out.

Needed to share what’s in my heart.

*

I’m really excited.

Really excited about what’s to come. Excited about when this little soul will decide to manifest in the physical world.

Excited about how I can do this differently… listening only to the book of my own intuition.

I know now that I can be so deeply supported during this whole thing. That I can take care of myself and tend to myself and give my body and soul what it needs.

That I can heal what needs healing on every level as it happens… not depriving myself of that kind of essential self and soul and body care.

And that feels so very exciting.

And what feels even more exciting is meeting this special little soul who was patient enough to wait for the right time…

and who I love already so very much.

*

Thank you, dear sisters, for being with me as I sit and share and process,

Thank you for allowing me to be who I am.

Thank you for sharing this winding, beautiful, astonishing, magical journey with me.

All my love,

Hola lovebugs,

My world feels like a creative swirl right now.

Holy moly. It’s exciting + beautiful + there’s nothing else I’d rather be doing.

DA WEBSITE REBRAND: MUSINGS, REFLECTIONS + LESSONS

The new website is up + out.

Five long months of design + decisions.

For anyone who is thinking of doing a website rebrand, here’s what I know for sure:

It takes way longer than you think it will.

True shit. I remember Marissa warning me of this before we began. And I was all “How hard could it be? It’s just a new website! It’s just some colour here and a splash there! It’s just pixels!”

Erm, no.

That’s not really how it goes down at all. It’s massively intensive. It takes a long time to get it all looking and feeling just right.

And you get decision exhaustion, coz ya need to make a dozen decisions a day just about design and all of them feel really, really important.

And yet it’s totally worth it.

Once I glimpsed the kind of beauty we were birthing into the world… once I saw just how different my whole online world would look and feel from my hodge-podge handmade website… it couldn’t come fast enough.

It feels like a major shift and uplevel and it feels really, really good.

Polished like a crystal so it shines. Just like I wanted it too.

(Big ole thanks to Ashley Inzer our designer + Lisa Wood our coder for their magnificent work on this project.)

NEW AMAZING BIZ + LIFE ACADEMY UNFOLDED

And along with the swish new website comes my big bouncing new baby, the one project/program/offering I’ll be concentrating on for the next year and more:

the Amazing Biz + Life Academy.

It’s the only way you’ll be able to work with me over the next year.

You’ll not only receive my HUGE library of business, life, meditation, creativity + health resources…

but you’ll also receive a bunch of new programs + resources over the next year… get ready for this (!!!) including:

• my high level business + marketing program to build + grow a wildly abundant business from your passions (I was going to sell this at over $2000 but decided instead that I’d rather give it all to my Academy peeps + have more women access it, use it + change their businesses + lives from it!)
• my Abundant Goddess program: mindset + manifesting secrets
• more meditations + spiritual ebooks
• the “How To Hire, Grow + Keep A Shining Six Figure Team” guide
• my Business Rolodex of all the programs, services + equipment I personally use + recommend to build my half million dollar a year company
• more bonus amazing life + biz resources.

I wanted to make something completely revolutionary – something that hasn’t been done before.

A one-stop shop for growing your life + business. For being inspired, motivated, healthy, abundant, successful + most importantly on soul purpose.

Without having to spend a shit tonne of money (it’s just $199 for EVERYTHING (over $3800 of resources – and you can even sign up with part payments!!!)

I wanted to make it ridunkulously affordable because I want you to be able to say yes to it easily.

I would so so much rather help a thousand people than help thirty.

I want so deeply for you to have the resources, support + guidance you need to keep you on track, inspired, happy, productive + all that gorgeous stuff.

So there you go. There’s the Amazing Academy.

It’s already in full swing already with new programs + meditations being sent out.

If you’re ready to step up, do it sweetheart. Jump on in and start growing that beautiful life + business of yours today.

I can whole of heart promise you that you won’t find anything like it anywhere else.

It’s a pretty incredible experience – check out the amazing success stories of the women who are getting so much out of it already.

I’m so so proud of what we are creating there. I just know it is world changing.

Big ole hugs + high fives,

Dear You,

Did you know you were born for a reason?

Yes, YOU. Yes, YOU.

You were born to be born, to wake up and to live.

Inside you, there are a hundred million gifts waiting to be shared.

Tell it to us. Tell us your story.

You. Yes, YOU.

I want you to know you are an angel.

Whether you believe it or not.

Whether you see it or not.

I see it and it is so damn bright it’s hard to ignore.

Tell me your story. Share your gifts.

You, my darling. You.

There’s a big bright world waiting for you.

There are thousands craving to hear your words, to know what only you know.

I ask you to step up.

Steep your heart deep in courage.

Live your life with faith.

Know you were born to be you.

Love, you are loved. Darling, dearest you.

I know the road has been rough.

I know it sucked giant borg for parts back there.

Let it not dry you hard up.

Let it smooth you like a river stone,

sloughing away all the parts that don’t belong to you,

letting you glimmer in the light.

You, dearest you.

You are meant to be here.

Hand on my heart.

You are a teacher of your story, a healer, a muse, a wise woman, a goddess.

The whole world is inside you.

Waiting for you.

Flick the switch and show the world your beauty.

No regrets.

No fears.

No holding back.

You don’t need to anymore.

Be proud + be brave.

You were born to be you.

You, dearest, darlingest you.

Love,

Lovebugs,

With the birth of my brand new website, it’s time for me to share with you exactly what it means to have an amazing life + amazing business.

There’s so many misconceptions about it, and I wanted to clear it right up + tell you exactly what I stand for.

And ya know, I get a bit tired of the whole “perfect guru” idea. I’m going to tell you instead exactly what I pledge to you, including how much I’m going to swear like a trucker + how I aim to do this differently from most of the party peeps out there.

May this manifesto + pledge help you feel uber clear about what this movement is all about, and what role I play.

The Amazing Biz + Amazing Life Manifesto

First and foremost, dearheart, let’s get this straight:

Having an amazing life and amazing business does not mean having a PERFECT life or business.

It doesn’t mean being better than anyone else.

It doesn’t mean losing your spirit or your soul’s purpose in the process.

We know that by doing our inner work and restoring peace inside us, we create peace and ease around us.

We know that we can create a living from our passions and dreams.

We know that we have the resources we need at our fingertips, and that any question we have can be answered.

We know that first and foremost, our life and our business begins with us.

We know that by healing and listening and tending to ourselves and our spirits, we grow into who we are destined to become.

We know that we can choose this work at any time. And that by choosing to do the work of creation, of transforming what ails us, of letting go of anything that causes us to falter on the path of destiny, of stepping up to and into ourselves, we become exactly who we are meant to be.

And that this work is good work. And hard work. And holy work.

And the work worth doing.

Because this work makes us happier. Healthier. More at peace. More at home inside our bodies and our spirits.

More knowing deep down in our bones that we were born to be ourselves, and that is a sacred mission.

We know that creativity is important and healing and wild and freeing and just what we need.

We know that transforming our homes and offices through decluttering and sacred space clearing can transform our lives.

We know that business and marketing are holy vehicles to take our gifts to the world, to help the people we were born to help.

We know that abundance and money is not a force of evil, it is a force of intention. And that we can become excellent custodians of money, who create financial freedom for ourselves and our families. Who teach their children what possibility looks like. Who teach through doing that tending to one’s self and fill one’s own well is not selfish, it’s sacred. We know that through abundance and money we absolutely can change the world through philanthropy.

We are women who believe in carving out our destiny.

Who create like an angel, and love like a goddess, and live like a woman alight.

It’s also about embracing that we are divine, that inside us lives a spark, the light of Great Spirit (or God or Buddha).

It is also about embracing that we are human – that we are holy AND we are having a human experience. That we fumble and grumble and fall and pick ourselves back up again.

Amazing Life Amazing Business is about holding the dearest notion that we create our dreams come true.

AND that sometimes life just happens to us. Our best friend breaks up with us, we get anxiety disorders, we lose our children, we suffer a broken heart, one dream didn’t work out, our family falls apart, our world ends.

Amazing Life Amazing Business isn’t about having it all together.

It isn’t about knowing it all.

It’s about doing the best we can, day by day. It’s about knowing we can make it happen.

It’s about stepping up to become conscious creators of our lives, knowing that we truly can create the change we wish to see in ourselves, our lives, our world.

This is what it is to have amazing lives + amazing businesses.

And this is what I promise to you, dearest heart:

I promise to speak the truth.

I promise to turn up with my whole self.

I promise to share about my journey with an open heart.

I promise to tend to myself, my energy + my sovereignty as I do it.

I promise to walk my talk about life, business + philanthropy.

I promise I’m going to make a massive fucking difference on the planet.

I promise to not be perfect.

I promise that I will continue learning every single step of the way for the rest of my life.

And that I will do it joyfully, because to evolve is good.

And that somedays I’ll be cranky about having to change too, because I’m ding dang human.

I promise that I will share what works and what doesn’t.

I promise that I actually really do give a shit about you, and your dreams, and about you making them happen.

I promise that I will put everything I have into the Academy to make it the world’s best training resource for women.

I promise I’ll pour everything I know into there to help women who are really committed to developing their own amazing lives and businesses.

I promise I don’t have any upsells. I promise I’m not going to hold back. I promise I’m not going to have bullshit “tiers” of information.

I promise I’ll give my Academy peeps everything I can possibly give them to help them.

I promise I’ll do it authentically. And with love. Because I believe so deeply that when a tide of women rises up to become conscious creators of their lives, this world will change.

I promise that I fucking hate “smoke and mirrors” success just as much as you do.

I promise that I’ll be really real with you about exactly the numbers I’m making + how my business works.

I promise that I’m not one of those business coaches who knows nothing about business apart from selling coaching to other people. I’ve had a pretty huge amount of success before I began talking about business. I talk about business because I’ve learned it in the trenches and I know what actually works.

I promise I give a shit about overdelivering + going above + beyond with my programs. I make my stuff the very best I can, because anything else is shit. I have a pretty amazing track record, and I aim to keep it that way!

I promise to swear like a sailor, be ridunkulous silly, make words up, do TMI sharing, sneak the word vagina in wherever I can.

I promise to turn up and Be Leonie.

I promise to epitomise the Three S’s: Soulful, Sacred, Savvy.

I promise to be impeccable with my word. Even when I am saying vagina. (See! Snuck it in there already! WOOT WOOT!)

And most of all:

I promise to fulfil my life + soul’s purpose, as I help you fulfil yours.

I pledge this with my whole self.

I share this with love.

All my love,

*Update: Looks like the wave of gorgeous souls coming to launch party it up has crashed our (already pretty dang hefty!) servers! We’ll have it up + running beautifully as soon as possible… thank you soooo much for your love + enthusiasm!!!*

Holy moly possums,

The day has finally arrived! The official launch party + maiden voyage + birthday of my scrumptious new website!

This has been a mammoth five month long journey – so much work, love, sweat, faith, moolah + magic has been poured into it! I’m so grateful to my incredible team for helping me birth this baby into the world. I dearly hope you will adore it + get inspired by it + feel rejuvenated from it just as much as I do!

There’s SO MUCH new stuff here for you to immerse yourself in…

Make sure you check out:

• the brand new header video
• the lushly revamped FREE How To Be A Biz + Blog Star Workshop (get it free by signing up in the header! I swear it’ll make you wet yo’ pants with joy!)
• ze stunning Freebies page loaded with goodies for you!
• fresh new About page  page buzzing with energy
• and last, but not least by any means, my new Amazing Biz + Life Academy!!!!!

I’m so so SO excited you’re here!

There are SO MANY incredible things to come.

I look forward to keep sharing miracles + guidance + advice to help you as you grow your own shining life + business. I promise to be open-hearted + soul-centered + really let you know what works (+ what sucks borg). And most of all, I plan on making this the most fun, sacred, joyful + seriously savvy experience around! WOOP WOOP!

I can’t believe I’ve been writing you these love letters for close to nine (!!!) years now. Here’s to the next nine, hey? May they be filled with just as much + even more love, blessings + instant BFF-ing!

I need your help, love.

If you have found my work in any way helpful, can you please share about me to three friends who you believe need me the most. I know there are so many more women out there who need the kind of love, creativity + abundance that lives here. Can you please open your email/Facebook/Twitter/Instagram/carrier pigeon now and send them a love note this way? Thank you so much hon. Oodles + poodles. From my heart to yours.

I so deeply believe we can change this world with our love, our gifts + our miracles.

PARTAAAAAY TIME!!!!!

All my love,

P.S. I totally should have done a celebration photo shoot with streamers + party hats. But that would have required me putting a bra on.

Instead, you can totally imagine me doing this, right?

HEY YO! IT’S A RUNNING MAN HO-DOWN! THAT’S HOW EXCITED I AM!!!!!

Hola my sweet panda bears!

If you’re brand spanking new to Leonie World – or even if you’ve been cavorting in these rainbow lands for a while now…

Have you checked out my Top 10 articles? They are a cacophany of useful, funny, sacred + delicious!

It was a bit of a wag trying to sort through almost 9 years (!!!) of blogging + close to 1900 (!!!!!!!!) articles. I’ve been around for a while + I have muchos to share.

Consider this your beginner’s guide to all thing amazing biz + life. Heftily sprinkled with Leonie Certified Sparkle. WOOP WOOP!

Buckle in sweethearts, this is going to be a magical ride!!!!

The Wild Donkey Guide To Getting Your Projects FINISHED + Out In The World!

Honestly: Business Doesn’t Have To Be Like That

How To Meditate for Lazy People

Is This What’s Holding You Back From Getting Shi* Done?

How To Have A One Million Dollar Idea

The Worst Thing In The World Could Be The Best Thing

How To Install A No B.S. Clause In Your Life!

You Have Permission

Real Love: What It Looks Like, The Good, The Hard + How To Make It Better

10 Things I Want To Tell Every Teenage Goddess

Burnout: How To Recognise It, Fix It + What The Blessings of Burnout Are

Sweet browsing, dearest.

May they fill you up, inspire you + on the right track.

I’m SO glad you are here.

All my love,

There’s a thousand ways you could learn how to be grateful.
But I only know one.
I’ll tell you mine.
The story of how gratitude found me.

*

I was 14.
Leaping, larking, on top of the world.
Driving home with my mum from a gifted & talented art program.
I was overjoyed.
Finally,
I told her.
All my dreams are coming true.
I love my life so much.
I love this art program so much.
And these jeans?
These jeans fit me so perfectly.
And the sunset was golden,
and I remember that feeling of true happiness as we rolled into our driveway.
My two sisters ran outside to meet us.

Mum,
they said, ashenfaced.
The police have just been. They want to see you.
Mum jumped from the car.
What’s wrong?
She said. Where is Dad?
They didn’t know.
And we stood uneasily.

Right at the edge of our universe, our world had begun to crack & we
didn’t know why. Or how. Or just what that thunder was.

The police turned up again moments later.
“Girls, upstairs,”
my mama said.
The two police lead her downstairs for a few moments.
We sat upstairs, holding hands, creased over with worry.
And then the moment I’ll always remember.
Walking down the stairs.
My mama’s white face.
The words she said.
“Girls, I’ve got some sad news. Clinton has been in an accident…”
And in the moment between one sentence and the next, I remember thinking:
“Okay, my big brother has been in a car accident. Well that’s not so bad. He’ll be okay. He’ll get better. These things happen.”
But then the next sentence swooped in.
“…. and he’s dead.”

*

It’s been 14 years and 10 days since that day on the stairs.
I still remember each moment.
I still cry as I remember.

*

The universe split open that day,
and its belly spilled forth.
A tsunami of pain, searing grief and loss washed over my family.
The moment I told my father the news, and he sank to the ground.
The look on my other brother’s face, rigid and grazed.

The nights we crowded into one room, crying, looking at walls
together, not really speaking, but not really wanting to be away from
each other either.

The tsunami took my life.

*

But then. But then.

In the days and months that followed,
as I walked along the seaside of my soul,
scavenging for the remains of my life,
I began to find them.

The treasures of the tsunami.

The glint of something else:
I began to talk to my brother.

Months after he died, I drove his small blue car down the road.
And there, sitting in the passenger seat, there he was.
Smelling like aftershave and cigarettes and sugar, like he always did.

“I miss you,”
I said.

“I know. I miss you too.”
he said.

And in the moment that followed, I heard what was true:

I’m still here.

*

Three months after,
we were handed our new choir song to learn.

It was a message from him.

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush.
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.

And so I learned to see him.
All around me.

*

There are a hundred million reasons the world gives you to fall in love with it.

*

Eventually, the world that you thought had cracked?
It had only split open to show you the magic inside it.
Where once you feared darkness, there was only light.

*

Miracles have happened every year since my brother died.

What I know for sure about death?
That it’s all a gift.
That we never lose anything.

And that our relationship with the ones we love can keep growing,
changing and blooming even when they are dead.

*

My brother has taught me many things:

He’s taught me how to love through the walls.
He’s shown me just how much he still loves me.

He tells me:
“You’re still my little sister, Bony.”

And then he digs me in the ribs.

*

Most of all, my brother has taught me how to be grateful.

When I was 14, I was afraid of death.
I was afraid of losing the ones I loved.

And then it happened.
And the world didn’t end.

In fact, it had just begun.
And it has gotten even more beautiful every day since.

*

I am grateful he was born.
I am incredibly blessed he was my brother.
And I am over the moon lucky that he died.

*

Sometimes, the thing we most fear?
Is the thing that we need.
We are always given what is best for us.
Even in the days it feels like a tsunami,
hunt.

Scavenge the seaside to find the treasures.

They glimmer there, waiting for you.
Waiting to show you the truth about life, the truth about death,
and the majesty that lives between.

All my love,

Hola darlinghearts,

Bear with me party people. I have a major soul insight to share with you.

But to get to it, you’ll have to miander through Waffleville first.

SO:

I’ve had a new crush lately.

Firstly: The Voice Australia.

Secondly: The new judge on The Voice Australia: Ricky Martin.

And let’s get major shallow for a moment:

I was a teenager when Ricky got uber famooose. I didn’t get smooshy hearted over him then.

Honestly, I was kinda bummed that the lovely, kind-hearted Keith Urban was leaving the show. For me, watching The Voice is like watching a parade of earth angels. I KNOW it’s just a reality show. But it’s not just reality either – it’s divine. I see spirited, creative peeps changing the world with their gifts. I LOVE that.

And I wanted to keep an open heart that Ricky would be able to replace the Keith-Void.

And he totes did. Above + beyond.

Dude oozes grace, childlike joy + deep spirituality. Deep, deep centered soul.

I.HAD.NO.FREAKING.IDEA.

Which led me to making these kind of Instagram claims:

And reading his bloody magnificent book.

It is sacred + creative + open-hearted all at once.

#fangirlmoment

This particular piece made me go breathless.

And I wanted to share it with you.

So much so that I’m taking a break from cooking cupcakes + crafting (my usual weekend thang) to plop it gently here for you:

For me, one of the greatest failures of human beings is that we always search for a way to define people, to categorize them and give them a label. And within these categories, there are of course, “good” and “bad”. To not categorize people as either positive or negative when we call them “good” or “bad”, I instead try to visualise them as frequencies that are either compatible or incompatible with mine. I have simply decided to grab on to the compatible ones, those that help me and nourish my spirit, and I try not to focus on whatever steals my peace or decelerates the growth of my soul.

Happy Sunday, darlinghearts.

Wisdom to carry with you in your pocket.

love,

P.S. I’m so glad I’m in this world. So glad it’s filled with so many incredible beings!