HOW TO SAY YES EVEN WHEN IT SCARES THE BEJEEZUS OUTTA YA.

by Leonie Dawson on May 25, 2012


Some of the incredible women from my very first time.

I remember what it took to say YES the first time.

To step up.

To step into my destiny.

Even though it felt scary.

*

I was 21.

I met an incredible purple haired woman at my work.

She gave cuddles to everyone, talked about vaginas in the elevator.

She was a walking heart on legs.

She shimmered. She was aglow. There was something about her.

A secret I didn’t know.

So I took to hanging out at her desk as often as I could.

I became the barfly of her cubicle, soaking up the essence of wild woman.

Not wild as in: drinking and clubbing and men.

Wild as in: a woman totally alive in herself. Not afraid. Bare-hearted and true to her glorious, naked self.

And one day she said to me:

You know Leonie, you should come to my women’s circle.

Me?

I thought.

Me? Not me. I’m a tomboy. I’m only friends with boys. They are simpler. Less bitchy.

And a women’s circle? What’s that about?

Plus I have a partner. He needs me to be at home with him. I can’t do stuff without HIM.

I was hopelessly young, still learning the ways of the world, of love, and of myself.

So I kept making my excuses.

Maybe next week,

I’d say.

Maybe next week.

And she’d keep on listening to me, keep on understanding, keep on saying:

There’s this women’s circle I go to. I think you’d like it.

I had many excuses not to go.

I was quite simply terrified of change.

I had an inkling:

If I go to this thing, this thing called a women’s circle… my life is going to be transformed.

And I wasn’t sure what that would look like.

And even though my heart yearned for it, I still had my excuses.

Months later, I decided to take the chance.

It was three days after my 22nd birthday.

And then I leapt. I went.

(Here’s the blog post I wrote the morning after.)

*

In an instant, my life really did change.

I walked into that room, and knew that it was what I wanted to be doing for the rest of my life.

There, with women gathered in circle, faces and souls and hearts aglow, speaking their loving truth with each other… there was my destiny.

*

It’s been almost eight years since that night. Since I took the leap and faced the terrifying prospect of change and knocked on the door of my soul’s purpose.

I am so grateful I did.

There has been so many circles since that night.

So many lessons learned, medicines taught, wisdom shared.

Many many tears. Deep truths whispered into the night.

And true magic :: true miracles that made me see that everything was real.

*

It woke me up to the medicine woman inside me. The goddess.

The one who had gone unnamed who had finally found her tribe.

It was finally normal to share about soul work, heart work, creative work + deep unfurling tendrils of dreams.

*

I became less co-dependent. More courageous. Wiser. Happier.

Everything made sense when I circled.

And so I kept circling.

When my mentors stopped leading circles, I stepped up to lead.

The circle must go on.

And I learned so many lessons: personal, life, soul, relationship ones.

I ran my first women’s retreat.

I ran workshops, wanting to have every woman experience the kinds of blessings and awakenings I had received.

I made art by the truckloads.

Kept learning, sharing, teaching.

*

I started getting requests to run workshops all around the world.

I decided to turn my workshops into online courses so every woman could experience them.

My first was the Creative Goddess e-course.

It was wildly successful + hugely popular, beyond anything I’d ever expected.

*

And so I kept creating. Sharing. Writing.

Pulling together even more programs to help women live their most amazing, shining lives.

Until the Great Bird gathered wings and suddenly took flight and all of a sudden, it was me + my husband + my assistant’s full time job.

*

And it’s my dream job. My dream life. In my dream home.

I can’t believe that every day I get to wake up, spend each day with my dearest loved ones, and help other women remember how amazing they are, how divine their lives can be.

It’s every dream I never dreamed come true.

*

And then. Today. An email from the woman who began it all.

I sorted through my desk today
and found this letter from you
the day after your very first women’s circle.
And I cried and cried and cried.
Look how far you have come, soul sister.

*

There’s something enchanting about this.

Something enchanting about these words.

“It was just what I have been looking for to take my next step with.”

As I said to my love:

“Could I have ever known that eight years later, that step would take me here? Right where I needed to be?”

*

I have a feeling a part of me did.

The part that despite all my fears.

Despite my worry, my codependency, my excuses about being a tomboy and what’s-with-that-women’s-circle-thang…

I took a leap.

I said yes.

I invested in myself and in my growth.

I turned up.

I let the miracle begin.

*

Can you imagine what would happen if you said yes today to something… that would utterly change your life eight years from now?

Can you imagine?

Love, gratitude + wild leaps of faith,

 

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