Hola gorgeous Goddesses!
It’s that time of the moon again… an Ask Goddess Leonie question answered 
To get your question answered, just add your question here.
This time, a sweetheart asked me:
What do you do to your hair to make all mermaidy?
Aaaaaaahhhh… good question! Let’s get all goddess girly for a moment!
First point: Leonie is not a style guru. And thus makes her style.
I don’t like handbags, shoes, bras, make-up, undies, hairdryers or clothes shopping… and try not to engage with all of the above as often as possible.
I like to call my personal dress style as “hobo-hobo” – as in – bohemian homeless person.
I’m pretty sure my inability to care about all things beauty + style is born out of growing up on a farm in the middle of nowhere-Australia… but seeing as my sisters + mum manage to maintain some kind of style decorum, I don’t know if I can actually use it as an excuse. For me, style + beauty comes out of what happens when you wake up, pull on the closest clothes, rock the bedhead or the ponytail, and run outside to play with puppehs, or do some painting in the sunlight. That’s my definition of high style!
My bestest goddess advice for cultivating goddess hair… is to let it be what it is.
There is nothing more gorgeous than revelling in the beauty and uniqueness of the mane we were given.
Me thinks pregnancy tends to make manes a whole lot more mermaidy too…
Here’s my uber-difficult mermaid-hair beauty-regime:
1.) I brush it once a week. Maybe.
It’s true. I wash it once a week with whatever is in the shower. I comb it when it is wet {oooooh… beauty no-no that Leonie says yes-yes to!l}.
And then I let it go do whatever it wants the rest of the time. Sometimes it is scooped up in a ponytail with fringe-y bits. Sometimes I pull back my fringe with a bobby pin and rock the bed-hair. On days I feel all maiden-squire-goddess-hottie, I have two messy braids.
And that’s about the whole of my hair repertoire.
2.) I don’t cut it. Unless it’s in the backyard.
I think the last time I had my hair cut by a hairdresser was three years ago. And before then, it had been a couple of years. I started not cutting my hair – and about once a year, when I felt like I needed to let go of old energy, I’d stand in my backyard and cut away intuitively – no mirror – just me, my hands, my hair, and a pair of scissors. And all the ends of my hair would catch in my wind and get carried over my garden, and it felt beautiful and good and right.
Sometimes it would happen in the moonlight, sometimes it would happen under the stars, sometimes it would happen under the sun.
And each time would feel like this wonderful, sacred ritual of release, and of transformation, and of tending to my self.
So that time I went back to a hairdresser?
Suddenly I felt all out of place. It was so loud and stark and inside. And the hairdresser kept wanting to gossip, and talk about new styles and how annoying things were. And my hair got cut away, and all my ends got swept up into other people’s ends, and got put in a big bin together.
It just didn’t feel right anymore.
So it’s back to intuitive haircuts in the backyard for me!
3.) I let it be what it wants to be.
No colour. No straighteners. No blow-drying.
I found a haircut style that worked with the natural flow of my hair – lots of layers – and stayed with it.
Evidence: What happens when you ignore what sings to your hair, and force a too-short fringe on curly hair…
Occasionally I make rather hilarious mistakes like cutting my own crazy-short-fringe and hoping that my hair would miraculously change from curly to being straight and edgy. Funnily enough, just because you try and force a style on your hair, it doesn’t mean it will change. It’s just going to do it’s own thing anyway.
So my whole hair-philosophy {and life-philosophy} is not to try and make something different from what it is.
If I can just have the humour, grace & courage to allow myself to be who I am truly – to allow my hair to be whatever it wants to be – then it will all work out beautifully.
That’s the gift my hair teaches me…
around us, there are a thousand teachers, all giving us the chance to learn again and again about love, and about light.
big love you,
{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }
I really like and relate strongly to this atricle as I have very, very curly red hair and have recently stopped cutting and straightening it. It feels wonderful and natural now and I am in a place where I am happy with it and accepting of it. So thankyou for this lovely article Leonie. We all need to accept what we were blessed with and allow it to just be!
Lovely article and you have lovely beautiful!
I hardly ever brush my hair and when I do it’s with my fingers … not a brush! Which keeps my hair wild and wavey but I do occasionally find huge knots in my hair and panic … ooopsie daisy!
But natural is definitely the best way to go!
I meant to put hair at the end of that first sentence .. by the way!
ooooooh outdoor haircuts! Love this idea.
(actually, goddess friend of mine used to plait her hair very tightly and BURN the ends – the split ends would frizzle away and the rest would stay just fine. I’ve tried this but think i’ll try your outdoor wind-cut next time).
Am totally onboard with the see-what-sings-to-you philosophy. Once a year (or thereabouts) I used to get seized with the urge to dye my hair mad colours, and I would think it looked cool for a couple of days then I wanted to be ME again…. but of course it’s nearly impossible to get the natural colour back again. I’ve been nearly 18 months dye-free now, and am loving it. Lovely to see the different coloured strands again, and see what’s changed with my hair’s ‘natural’ state in the last 15 years or so.
Can’t wait until it’s back to 100% natural at its current length…. be about 3 more years I think.
And when I finally find a grey hair, I am going to welcome it and have a party.
Hi beautiful goddess, I wash every 3 days condition, spray with PRODUCT (salon lingo) blow dry straighten use calming serum have hi-lites…it crept up on me and now I am a slave to maintain. With the summer approaching I think it would be a good idea to liberate my locks! Let them fly and be free ~ signed a budding goddess
I love this so much! And I love your style!
I’ve been to a hairdresser 3 times in my life – at 11, 29 and 31 years of age. The first two times I felt really bad and ugly afterwards and I wanted to counterbalance it with a sacred self-caring hairdresser visit. So the last time I went I decided to cut my really long hair as short as could be to still be put into a ponytail and donated my hair to Locks of Love. It felt good and different than before and now I have a good visit to the hairdresser I can look back on. And I also realized I can truly live without it
I’d love to learn to let my hair just be itself and love it like it is.
♥
LOL, I thought this was going to be a tutorial on how to “paint” mermaid hair in a picture! Oh well this was fun also…
I have a personal theory that hair reflects the inner-space of a mind’s workings – chaos & creativity inside the head = curly chaotic hair. A calm, peaceful mind produces straighty shiny hair.
Pregnancy aside (when my hair went curly after my boy, straight again after my girl), this “mind-state” has been my experience anyway…
Any thoughts on this?
Love ya,
Anita
Hi, Leonie, just wanted to say thank you for this! My hair went all wild and curly in my mid-20s (as a result of a medication I was taking, so they say), and I had to learn all over again to work with it, as I was used to pretty straight hair before then.
In the end, I went salonless as well — and my last haircut was on a mountaintop in November, in the beautiful warm light of dawn. If salons were like *that*, maybe I’d frequent them. As it is, I’m all about letting the curls dance!
Oh, and I meant to add: what a wonderful example you will be for your daughter, inspiring her to let her true beauty blaze forth as is!
Inspiring post & comments ladies ! Remaining yourself always as an act of beauty
I used to be a Mermaid haired goddess – very long hair combined with very low (or should I said no) maintenance, self made (very rare) cuts and (frequent) self made tinting mixtures (made of infused camomile flowers and henna)… Long wild mermaidy waves with flowers in them were my signature for more than a decade.
Then one day I switched to very short hair. I needed to let go of old energy so I did it. Unlike longer hair, short hair requires at least some form of minimal upkeep and I’m blessed to have found the perfect goddess mama hairdresser to help me with that. It surprised me at first that I no longer felt mermaidy, but I found another part of myself. I feel more like a peaceful warrior goddess and I love it just as much. It’s what’s me right now.
Hair has been a part of how I feel about my self and my energy at different stages of my life. Does anyone else feel the same way ?
Your hair is amazing Leonie! Over the years I have become more appreciative of my natural hair color and texture. I don’t think that doing a backyard haircut is something I’d enjoy, but I love picturing you do it
*sigh* for years I wished for hair like yours. But it’s funny, now that I am discovering my own style…I realize my straight hair is perfect for my slightly urban style. Funny how that works isn’t it
i have been doing a few of these things with this crazy pregnancy hair i have and i love it. love letting it just flow and do whatever and not worry about washing it daily or drying it or or or or or…
love your mermaid hair dear girl!
Sarah – thank you for your comment about warrior hair!
i have had shortish hair my whole adult life … i would dream of long, lovely curling red locks like a mermaid but the reality was pyramid hair thick, hot, frizzy and overwhelming to my face (think Cousin It from The Adams Family.) Short hair does force me forward – no hair to hide behind! But it does require some upkeep. I just bought my first hair dryer – for my art journals! And i will not do much more than wash, condition and scrunch into the shape I want. But my hair does have a mind of her own – i shudder to think she is reflecting my internal state! LOL.
I also struggle with the gray hairs … not the silky, wise woman gray but the coarse, sticking straight out and at odd angles like a crazy auntie gray hairs. I always thought I would accept my grays as a sign of my weathering into my life, but the process has been less gentle. The gray has me looking washed out and dull. so for the first time in my life – gasp – i tried dying my formerly red hair. And I liked it. I felt sassy and in charge. So I say, mermaid/warrior hair is all about choosing what you want for yourself!
now, if someone has a natural treatment to invigorated ginger gray hair, I’ll try that (because even the every few months dying bit is still more work than I am willing to do!)
oh leo, i love this post so much. i have always been resistant hairdressing establishments, resisted my mother and other girlfriends who’ve begged me to care for my hair in a “mature” way. forget it!
i used to let my hair growwww without trimming it, and people would say that i needed a trim for it to grow longer. but it grew just fine.
i trim it myself now–whenever i want a new style. my mane is part of my expression, my wisdom, my process.
your post is liberating.
i love my dark and silver-streaked malleable mane. i can care for it however i please!
Thank you Lis I loved reading your words about how dying your hair makes you feel “sassy and in charge” ! How amazing to have found something that makes you feel so great about your goddessy vibrations
xoxo
Loved this posting, Leonie! I assume you meant your style is more “boho hobo” and not “hobo hobo”. hehehe
For years I have bleached, highlighted, straighten and abused by naturally wavy hair. The past few years I’ve been doing what you said and to just love what I have. Now that I’m in my early 40′s I am going gray. I’m about 10% gray now. I’ve struggled with the notion of letting it be natural. I have a very young face and most people think I’m in my early 30′s. But reading your posting has confirmed I just need to “go with the mermaid flow” and embrace my hair and it’s wavy grays.
Thanks for being you!
Just this morning I decided I needed to approach my hair differently then I came upon this topic! I’m 41 and had not dyed my hair for many many years. A couple of years ago I decided I was “bored” with my hair and tried coloring again. Biggest hair mistake ever! The other mistake was asking my mother in law to be my hairdresser. We have a good relationship but she basically does what she wants to my hair so I end up resenting her a little and not liking my hair. She is a hair dresser through and through and wants me to trim often but I don’t want to any more. I find that when I try to control my hair too much it looks worse. So this morning I got this overwhelming feeling that enough is enough and just let it do what it wanted. What a difference. When I’ve done this at other times I’ve always received compliments. So why is it so hard for me to let go of the control? I think this is an issue in other parts of my life too! Maybe I should learn from my hair!
Thank you for your post
For years I’ve never been happy with haircuts I’ve had, & rarely enjoyed a trip to the hairdresser. Best decision I made was to start using my husband’s hairclippers at home! The first time I took most of it off was very liberating. Cheaper, easier & so much more me…
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