Yo yo lovies,
You know, as much as I would love-love-LOVE to just draw up a beautiful poster that I could give to every single one of you that would have IT – the single key to success in mastering the perfect biz and life — well, there’s just no such thing!
There’s no ONE key to success, gorgeous.
There’s lots of them.
And that’s a good thing! It really is, because you get to try as many keys as it takes to open the doors you need.
But there is one freaking massive ole style brass success key that I’ve used many times, and it’s never done me wrong:
If you want to be amazing, surround yourself with amazing people.
There’s a famous quote from ze motivational speaker Jim Rohn aka Jimmy Jimmy Run Run aka JimBob aka No Not Really I Just Give EVERYONE Nicknames In My Head! Rightio… anyways, J-Ro said:
You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.
It’s sort of a law of averages thing: The people you hang out with the most are going to rub off on you a bit.
Have you ever hung around with a friend so long that you started talking like her? Or maybe you have a fave biz person on the Internets that you follow, and you start to do things a lot like the way she does them. Or you meet this woman you admire somewhere, and the more you hang out with her, the more you start thinking the way she thinks?
Law of averages.
Who do you spend the most time with pandabears? I’ll wait while you make a list….
(And let’s leave off toddlers and pets for the time being.)
Now ask yourself: Do you like who’s on your list?
Do you like what that guest list says about the party you’re throwing with your life?
The type of people you surround yourself with tells the universe:
- what level of consciousness you want to live at
- the kinds of activities you spend your time doing
- the ambitions you’ll have
- the goals you’ll set
- the goals you’ll achieve
- what you’ll expect of yourself
It’s pretty flippin’ powerful stuff when you think about it.
And it’s something that loads of successful people understand. Check this number out:
Behind da scenes goss
I wrote a big ole behind-the-scenes of how I’ve used masterminds to double my biz for that thing I’m doing in a few weeks. And it made me remember how much J-Ro had inspired me with that quote.
Coz I remember looking at my list and thinking that as much as I adored my friends (and still do), I didn’t have many business friends that were at my level of business or higher. Not only that, I was the biggest income earner.
So I couldn’t really talk as much about where I was at, the next level I was coming up against, and how to tend to the next level of abundance.
Because here’s the thing – every step of this journey is a learning one. You don’t one day wake up and know everything about business. Even where I’m at – doing nearly 7 figures a year (!), I come up against stuff on a weekly basis where I think:
Ummm… WADDAFA? What does that mean? How do I do that? What do I do with this?
So it’s always learning, learning, growing, healing, evolving, implementing, all that stuff.
Anywaysies, I realised I was at a bit of a growth stalemate because I just didn’t really know other peeps who were headed in the same direction as me, and were at the same place, or were further along the journey with me.
So I ended up contacting a few women who I respected and who were in similar places to see if they wanted to connect more and have a little online space to connect. And we really cultivated it into a beautiful, empowering, dynamic space (i.e. turn the fuck up and share and help each other out every.single.day)
Anyways… it helped in soooo many ways.
Because all of a sudden I was surrounded by women who were doing better than me in lots of different ways.
Some of them were totally clued into investing. And I totally had to get my shit together and start learning about that because I felt a bit like a n00b.
Some of them were waaaaay smarter than me about business systems. So I totally learned so much just by osmosis. We all shared our resources and checklists together to bring all of us up together.
It became my new normal to be surrounded by a bunch of spiritual, successful, positive, empowered women entrepreneurs who adored their lives and were creating exactly the kind of life they wanted.
It’s a gamechanger to have changed my friend average to be set at such a high level.
(I gotta say too :: it’s really not a shallow thing either. The kinship I have with my mastermind is deep soul stuff too. We started off with talking spreadsheets + ended up with total kinship, kindness, support and love.)
Friendship Red Flags
I have a personal system for working out whether I can keep having a close friendship with someone.
I’m always talking about red flags. If they pop up, I either need to create some distance or step away completely.
I’ve definitely learned this the hard way. If I ignore my intuition, it ALWAYS comes back to bite me on the bum, and I realise WHY the red flags were popping up for me to begin with.
Some red flags to be aware of, and be wary of:
- If you feel physically or emotionally drained after seeing or talking to them, it’s NOT a good sign.
- If your friend is always going through drama or negativity, it’s probably not a “hey I’m just going through a difficult time right now” and more of a “drama and stress are my preferred lifestyle“. That can get really tiring and no fun at all.
- If you don’t feel supported.
- If they only spend their time critiquing, judging or gossiping about other people — it will mean you’ll subconsciously become afraid of doing anything or moving forward incase they judge you too.
- If you don’t feel like they can genuinely celebrate your successes and happiness with you.
- If you don’t know people who are smarter, more successful, happier, creating bigger things or thinking bigger than you… you are in the wrong room.
What do your peeps say about you?
When you look at your list, what do those people say about you?
Are they positive? Successful? Ambitious? Generous? Happy? Fulfilled? Soulful? Warriors?
Are they sleepwalkers? Energy vampires? Negative Nancies? Eeyores?
If you’re not loving what you see on your list, that can be a little disheartening. Because those are your peeps, right? They might be friends, coworkers, family members? They might be people you feel like you don’t have any choice about associating with.
What do you do when you don’t love what your 5 say about you?
Lovebugs, I know what it’s like to have people in your life that aren’t resonating at the same level you want to be at.
It can be soo freaking painful. Just because they’re not in the same space as you doesn’t mean they’re bad people.
But if they’re not in it to be successful, or happy, or generous, or soul-centered, or whatever you hope to be…
They could still be holding you back.
It doesn’t mean you have to cut them out of your lives completely.
It just means that you need to be intentional about how much time you spend around them, and how much time you spend cultivating relationships with the people who are headed along the same path you’re traveling.
Who would be in your perfect inner goddess circle of 5?
I love this idea. It’s like imagining the perfect dinner party, where the food is delicious and healthy, the weather is perfect, the table is beautiful, and nobody has to do the dishes!
At first you’ve got to ask yourself:
What kind of person do I want to be?
What are your goals? What are your dreams? Where do you want to be next year? In 10 years? What do you wish you had more of? Less of? What do you wish you knew how to do?
Then you might ask:
Who has walked that path before me?
Because guess what, darlinghearts? There’s nothing new under the sun! And that’s a good thing, because somebody’s been there and done that before you! Somebody’s walked that road, fallen down, gotten all messed up, picked themselves up, and made it to the finish line!
And that means you don’t have to freaking redraw the map to get where you want to go.
You just follow somebody who’s already been there.
Make your Goddess Circle List of 5:
Figure out who you want on your list and then plan ways to spend more time with them:
- If it’s someone you know in real life, ask them round for tea, or out to lunch or whatever. Set up weekly emails with an accountability partner. Call somebody on the ding dang phone!
- If it’s someone you’d like to know better, join a group they run, introduce yourself in person or via email, join them at yoga class or women’s circle or wherever they hang out.
- If it’s an expert or a guru, read their books, subscribe to their blog, purchase one of their products, go to their lectures and conferences, participate however you can.
- If you don’t know of any soul sisters who fit the bill, join a mastermind to find those who tread the same path as you.
All these intentional interactions with people who lift you up are going to raise your own vibrations. They’re going to raise your own expectations of yourself, your life, your achievements.
Minimize the time you spend with the people who pull you down and hold you back. Maximize your interactions with the people who lift your soul and feed your spirit.
Do that? And you can’t help but succeed and shine your light BRIGHT!
To your wild + divine success, my lovelies!
Want to know how to shine your light even BIGGER + BRIGHTER in the world?
Want to know how to help even more people with your gifts?
Want to have a bigger impact?
Want more financial abundance to nourish you, your family, your community, your world?