More from the Healing Journey

by Goddess Leonie on March 18, 2009


In the Healing Circle. From my Day of Delight Retreat.


Hola gorgeous Goddesses!

I want to thank you so deeply for your love, prayers, kindnesses, comments & emails. One of the biggest things I’ve learned over the last couple of weeks is how to Receive. I can be so enthusiastic & excited about giving that I forget to leave space & room in my life to be held & given to.

Thank you for giving. Thank you for believing. Thank you for sharing when you were called. Thank you for being you.

My heart feels like it is receiving love into it.

The Healing Journey

Yesterday I had a breast ultrasound, and watched the waves and lakes of my boobs melting over the television screen. Ultrasounds are such magical things. Oceans of boob, seas of tissue. It’s all organic and liquid and living. Magical, magical, magical. There ended up being a boob-group meeting in that little room: me, my love by my side, lovely ultrasound lady, and then she went and got the doctor on staff. This is the third time I’ve been ultrasounded, but the first time they got a doctor in.

He was Irish, with the most beautiful accent and ginger hair. He wore green suspenders. He made me smile. And he went through and diagnosed the ultrasound *live* as it wafted and waned all over the screen. He showed me where my ribs were, what each part meant, how it all sung together in a lovely symphony of body.

And then we got to my lump. My lump, my lump, my lump on my lovely lady lumps. (Sing it with me now).

And this, he said, is all breast. There’s nothing – no cancer, no growth, not even a cyst. It’s all just breast. Breast tissue can form into harder ridges and lumps, and this is what that is. It’s all good.

And Chris squeezed my hand. And I grinned.

I’ve never been so happy to be all boob in my life.

Sing it with me now

Ceeeeellllebrate good times, come on! Do-do-do-do-do-dooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

So that is one big elephant-sized worry no longer standing in the corner of my room. I’m so very, very glad to be the bearer of happy, healthy breasts.

I think my shoulders have come down about a foot. I’m glad. And grateful. And sinking into that feeling of grace.

With one big elephant-sized worry gone, there’s still healing to do. I’m still exhausted and anxious. In the backyard at sunset yesterday, my love said: It’s understandable honey. The last few months have been really, really big for you. It’s going to take some time to come back again. It’s going to take time to get your juice back.

That it will. My new superhero skill I am in training for is this:

Gentleness.

And what have I learned in the process of the lump?

A shit load.

A bugger load about healing, receiving, rest and self kindness. I’ve remembered exactly what’s important to me (My sweet self, my holy-amazing-batman lover, my puppehs, my ridunkulously cool family and endearing friends. Notable things missing from this list: How well my business is doing, how much I’ve blogged this week, how to value myself based on my outputs, how my to-do list is looking and just how productive I’ve been this week).

And I also managed to learn some really wonderful things about herbal healing.
And tomorrow/soon/when I get there I’ll share with you one of the most woah-amazing remedies I’ve discovered on the healing journey.

For now though…

It’s party-time & healing-time all at once.

Time to go watch some Ellen & Oprah and spend the rest of the day in sweet bliss of be-kind-to-self-and-do-nothings.

Love, healing, good news, gentleness,

_____
Get your fill of GoddessGuidebook.com posts when they are published. Sign up to receive GoddessGuidebook.com posts by RSS or email! Hurrah!

{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }

Shell March 18, 2009 at 12:19 pm

I’m very happy to hear you are fine. Made me grin from ear to ear. You continue to rest now. Get your center back. I recommend having a party in bed. Reading, watching movies, drawing and eating delicious cookies. Hugs to you, Leonie.

Shell’s last blog post..Loving Nat

Reply

Toni March 18, 2009 at 12:56 pm

Oh honey, I’m so happy to read this. Big hugs to you.

Toni’s last blog post..Official Mail

Reply

kazari March 18, 2009 at 1:06 pm

awesomeness!
Here’s to boobs!
And blissful homeness!

kazari’s last blog post..Bliss

Reply

Carolyn March 18, 2009 at 1:54 pm

Oh, Sweetie,
I am so happy for you. The same thing happened to me a few years back. I can remember the relief and joy I felt when the doctor told me it was normal tissue that it just was “thready”. Oh our wonderful boobs. They norish our children and teach us so many lessons.

Reply

vivienne March 18, 2009 at 2:52 pm

oh lovely this is such good news! what a relief!

and i’m glad to hear that you are welcoming gentleness and taking good care of yourself. you’ve given so much to us goddesses in the last few months…so glad you’re giving back to yourself!

vivienne’s last blog post..the same wind

Reply

carole March 18, 2009 at 4:56 pm

big sigh and dropping of the shoulders here too Leonie … keep retreating …more big times ahead Goddess love to the 4 of you xxxxoooo Carole

Reply

Lottie March 18, 2009 at 5:27 pm

So, so relieved and happy to hear this news. Made my day. Being gentle with yourself is so important. Take the time to rest and recover. xxxxxx

Reply

Silvia March 18, 2009 at 7:53 pm

So glad to hear that you’re all boob.
take care my dear.
xo

Silvia’s last blog post..The rhythem of old age

Reply

Paula - Buenos Aires March 18, 2009 at 11:12 pm

Yay! Great news!
Singing and dancing with you. :)

Paula – Buenos Aires’s last blog post..Who said …

Reply

Loran March 19, 2009 at 12:54 am

HAPPY DANCE! HAPPY DANCE!! HAPPY DANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reply

brandi March 19, 2009 at 1:42 am

good grief. I think MY shoulders came down a foot reading that!!!

I am so happy to hear the good news!

many blessings to you babe-

brandi’s last blog post..mission monday:: work

Reply

Ashley March 19, 2009 at 1:45 am

YAY Leonie! Now you take care of yourself and let others help! ; )
Light & Love

Reply

Nolwenn March 19, 2009 at 1:46 am

I’m so glad to hear you’re OK :) (and I sang with you while reading your post)

Nolwenn’s last blog post..[Journal Créatif] I am reaching my Star

Reply

Victoria SkyDancer March 19, 2009 at 6:13 am

Uncorking a big Happy Dance to move joyously by your side…
HUZZAH!
Here’s to happy healthy breastolas!

Blessed Be,
VSD

Victoria SkyDancer’s last blog post..Working with what I’ve got

Reply

Beajai March 19, 2009 at 6:13 pm

I am sooooooooooooo relieved, Leonie.
*SIGH*
Love
*B*

Reply

Nicole March 19, 2009 at 8:55 pm

Leonie – wonderful news!! I’ve been thinking of you and holding you in my prayers. You are an amazing woman and I know you will find your juice again soon.

Nicole xoxo

Reply

Tracie March 20, 2009 at 12:41 am

YES! YES! YES!
I am so happy to read your news!
Do take the time to re-juice and celebrate.
You have done and learned so much lately and need time to soak it all in.
Hugs!

Reply

silvergirl March 20, 2009 at 2:58 pm

wonderful news, wonderful you … and gentleness is so important. we are blessed to have such fresh, vibrant, creative, irreverent, wise, insightful, loving, generous, succulent, soulful spirits as yours sharing the journey with us in this lifetime Leonie. I still remember meeting u for the first time at the airport …. and i will never forget your Svedish alter ego!! xxxx Silvergirl

Reply

pen* March 21, 2009 at 2:52 am

perfect :)

pen*’s last blog post..{better people}

Reply

MaryB March 21, 2009 at 4:40 pm

Oh Lovely goddess Leonie, so glad to hear your lovely boobs are happy warm wonderful healthy boobs!! YaY! Yippee!
So happy for you and your sweet wonderful god-man Chris!
Blessings..

Reply

Yvalu March 24, 2009 at 2:48 am

Congratulations Leonie!!!!! I’m very happy to know that you are healthy and have nothing to worry about anymore.
Hugs and my very best wishes for you always.

Yvalu’s last blog post..¿Qué como?

Reply

Penny March 25, 2009 at 6:08 am

That’s wonderful news – I knew you’d be okay – almost the exact same thing happened to me a few years ago – although they did find a cyst (benign). I felt like I could breath again, after a long time under water.

Enjoy your healing, it sounds lovely!

Reply

Leave a Comment