donna, leonie, gaby

i tried to explain my weekend today to a friend:
imagine you have just witnessed 50 small miracles in three days. and somebody asks you how you are. all you can do is smile, and say… it was good.

these two women came, they met each other for the first time. they stayed in our house. we went to a goddess workshop together. we shared and we laughed madly and we healed and our heads fell off and our hearts grew like the most magnificent lotus flowers, tender tendrils digging deep in the muddy earth. we spoke our truth together. we created space for each other to be and heal. we fed love to each other like grapes. and when they left, the tears came, as did the gratitude, the joy. so did the string of prayer beads that remind me to stay centred in my soul. my cells ache with a new dance.

my heart is a rose quartz with a grazed surface. a beloved dog mug with a chip in it. a heart painted in watercolour so wet the paper tore a little.
and there is magnificence in that. it is a deep and beautiful lesson for me to admit that, and claim that part of myself again. hello beautiful leonie. to be the wounded warrior walking in this world. to be the teacher who has felt the lesions of her lessons. yes, the rose quartz heart has a chip in it, and that is okay. in fact, it is beautiful. i love and honour myself even with this truth. especially with this truth. {what can you love and honour yourself for?}

this is the truth and the healing that lives in me now from the weekend.
to circle with women, to be held by them, for their hands to be placed on my head and heart when it aches… this is profound. this is life.

the mini miracles of strolling in soft bookstores with long wooden benches. lying on my back in the gallery in a sea of my own artwork. sitting on the couch in tears as these two women and my lover placed their healing hands on me. the rose garden, and the mermaid in the tree. lunches in the sun with seven beautiful women. spirit card readings that spoke to us. gabs’ sweet rock presence. being held in the moonlight by donn. yes, all the aching and the tears and the laughter and the healing.

i am broken and fixed all at once,
and for the first time it feels right to be this.

with my chips and my grazings my heart allows even more in.