A coupla weeks ago, I challenged you to look at where you were feeling stuck in the details. (P.S. Did you do it? If not, try it right now!)
A lot of times it’s things like:
I can’t decide on a photo for my website
– or –
I don’t know how to write my bio
– or –
I can’t decide what colors this product should be
– or –
I don’t know which festivals I should go to.
And if we just sit ourselves down and have a little CHAT and say, “It’s time to make a decision, goddess!” we can work through it.
And sometimes we are more deeply stuck.
Sometimes we are banging our heads against the kind of stuck that we can’t even articulate. We can’t give it a name or figure out what the decision we need to make even IS.
That is a deep, spiritual stuck.
I looooooove this quote:
Stuck can be a lot of things. It can be coming against a wall of your own fear, where frustrations and self criticisms surface. I have been stuck many times. I have felt vulnerable and afraid and uncertain. I didn’t know how to face Athena, goddess of courage. I didn’t even know how to ask for what I wanted!
But every time, I have been able to come unstuck, and in doing that, I have found that it has broken my heart open to the world.
1. I get honest about my stuckness.
And being honest about it helps me get unstuck.
You have to be honest about it with yourself, yuppers, but many times that means being honest with someone else. OUT LOUD.
Sometimes I would go to my women’s circle or my mastermind and say: I’m stuck. I don’t know how to do this. I’m afraid.
And every time EVERY DAMN TIME those wise women would say exactly what I needed to hear.
You don’t need to learn it in two weeks, Leonie.
Speak your truth
I believe in you.
That’s why I’m such a freaking advocate for developing these kinds of relationships. You DO have to spend time and energy in creating it for yourself. But the rewards of becoming an integral member of a mastermind or women’s circle is HUGE. Profoundly wonderous for you, your life, your spirit and your business.
If you haven’t found that kind of tribe yet, or if you have but don’t know how to maximise results from it, there’s a whole section in the upcoming Double Your Biz program devoted to it.
I’m such a devotee of those kind of powerful circles, and I really want to help you and women everywhere realise how much power, joy and love there is in creating and maintaing spaces like that.
So yus, tell someone else when you’re stuck. Shining light on it starts scaring the fear monster away.
2. Make a plan.
Once you’ve come out with it and let it all out into the world, it’s time to do something about it.
Don’t just get bloody stuck in the circuit of feeling stuck.
Because, while I am all for tapping and affirmations and positive visualizations and meditation and yoga and so on, I am also even more for getting shit done.
Once you have figured out and acknowledged that you are stuck, you’ve gotsa make a plan and take a step to get UNstuck, pandas. Because guess what? Sitting around feeling stuck sucks balls. It’s unfun. It’s unexciting. Inertia breeds more inertia. Whereas movement creates more movement. Dreams come true when you get outta Stucksville. It’s a shitty town and nobody wants to live there. Don’t buy a house there. Just rent a hotel room for the night and then make a plan to get the frick out.
(I say that with love. Of course. Ha!)
3. Pick ONE THING you can do right now, today, in the next hour, that might move you out of stucksville.
Notice I said MIGHT – you don’t have to be sure! You don’t have to know 100 percent that this thing will work. You just have to bloody do it. Movement breeds movement. Movement makes miracles happen.
Here’s some ideas of shit to do to get you unstuck:
- Do that one thing that you have been putting off.
Have you heard the phrase, “Do the thing you want to do the least, FIRST”? It’s pretty true, and mighty empowering. Because if you can get the icky stuff out of the way up top, you’ll have way more space for the good stuff. Once you get it outta the way, you’ll free up way more energy and get excited to make more stuff happen. Brian Tracy (productivity guru + delish voice bearer) calls it eating the frog. Watch a video about eating ze frog here.
Whenever I’m feeling tetchy and stuck, I look around me and there’s usually some clutter hanging around that’s harshin’ on my mellow. Ha!
My desk is a big one. If it starts looking less like a flat meadow and more like mountainous terrain, I need to level it.
Cleaning something out, getting rid of something that’s not serving you, making space for something new.
And cleansing with sage/crystals + the usual hippy dippy methods work wonders for me too.
(If you’re one of my Academy members: Use the Sacred Space Clearing Kit or Goddess Haven e-course)
- Go for a walk.
When I interviewed one of my creative heroes Julia Cameron, she said something that stuck with me. She said whenever she’s feeling stuck, she goes for a walk. That when she moves a muscle, she moves her mood. And it’s bloody true. Just try starting off for a walk feeling pissy. After just five minutes you’ll return in a different headspace where you were before.
This is also a good hint for mamas out there. When my lil mermaids are having a freaking horror of a witching hour at 5pm, I pop them in the double stroller/Ergo, and we hoik it up the hill to go say hello to the horse down the road. Starry yabbers the whole way, Beth stares at the sky, and I take big ole gulping lungfuls of air. And things are always better by the time we turn onto our gravel road again.
- Journal or goals time.
It’s never the wrong time to make a goal! If you used our Create Your Amazing Life Workbook back in January, pull it out! Look at what you wrote. Tear it up and do it again if things have changed. Start fresh. Blank sheet of paper and your favorite colors. Get out your favourite journal. Let it all pour out. Things will change.
- Get some education into ya.
If you don’t know where to start with getting unstuck, then I suggest education. Learning from someone who has done what you want to do gives you a whole new perspective. It literally rewires your brain. Education FOREVA!!! (Like right now, I’m doing a graphic design program, a self help course and revisiting a business program. Learning is everything!) Of COURSE, I think the Academy is a pretty rad place to start coz I pour so much into it, but only you can decide what you need.
And DO NOT just buy a program and say you’ll do it; schedule time for education into your life and make it happen, whether it’s reading a book from the library, or doing an ecourse, or signing up for something at your local uni.
Try something. I can guarantee you will feel better simply for having moved.
4. Know your limits (and get some support).
Now, all that sounds la la la lovely in a perfect world.
But we don’t live in a perfect world, love bugs.
We live in a world of depression and anxiety and hyperemesis gravidarum, and downsizing, and breaking up, and endings, and stress, and all SORTS of things that can throw us for a loop.
These are NOT your fault. They are NOT the universe punishing you or any of that kind of shit.
But they ARE real, they are important, they are notices from the universe that you’d better slow the fuck down and take a look at what’s really going on in your life.
And they are almost always a time when you need to reach out and get some support.
You’ve got to be honest about the support you need.
I think sometimes we believe we’re supposed to be able to do it all. We’re supposed to heal ourselves and be perfect at this thing or that thing, and never get angry, and never need help, and –
BULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLSHIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!! (I’m saying that in a loud, sing-song voice.)
All those shoulds are SO not true. They are misconceptions. And they can cause such pain when we believe in them.
You are who you are. You need what you need. You must ask for the help you want.
My hunky hubby and I have a pretty amazing relationship, and a big huge ginormous part of that is being able to say to each other, “Hey! You’re acting a little bonkers! Do you need some help?”
But if you don’t have someone in your life that knows your particular brand of crazy well enough to call you out on it, you’re going to need to say to them:
I need some help.
Such big, scary, amazing words.
Maybe you need some help with childcare, or housework, or work-work. Maybe you need someone to talk to like a coach or a therapist or just a BFF. Maybe you need some medication to make all those chemicals in your brain function the way they were meant to. Maybe you need a massage or some acupuncture or whatever woo woo works for you.
Whatever you need, I’m here to tell you right now: it’s OK! It’s OK.
It’s so very normal and human to not be able to do EVERYTHING all on your own.
It’s 100% okay and totally wonderful to accept and invite support into your life.
Because here is the secret, lovebugs:
When you do the things you need to do to get unstuck, the whole world will break wide open for you.
You will see that you had the courage you needed all along.
You will realize that you were able to be honest, even when you were afraid of speaking your truth.
You will see that the THING you thought was insurmountable, was totally doable.
You are amazing.
Don’t sell yourself short by allowing yourself to stay stuck.
SO much love, movement + magic to you,