Hola gorgeous Goddess!

This year, I’m participating in Reverb10. I’m also one of the contributing authors for it. Reverb10 is a writing project for each day of December & reflects on 2010 & manifests for 2011.

December 5 – Let Go.
What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?
(Author: Alice Bradley)

I was hesitant to write this one.

Hesitant because I feel like I’ve said it all before.

I don’t want to be one of those people that keeps talking about those things.

Those things they are yet to resolve.

I want to say it once and be done with it, danggit!

But the words, oh, they are so full inside me, they need to spill.

So, I must trust them. I must be okay with this. I must keep turning up, and letting them come out. Seeing what swells up to be seen.

Letting go.

Oh, my dear.

I lost the world I knew in 2010.

Life where I tended only to my own needs. My much loved cubicle job. My home. My city. How my relationship was. My lifestyle.

It ebbed away from me.

Don’t get me wrong though. I did let it go.

Letting go of a whole world.

In order to embrace a new one.

My hands had been full. I had to drop so many of those things I held tightly…

so that I could have the space to hold my child.

And I’m still coming to terms with it. Still grieving. Still sorting. Still integrating. Still healing. Still finding my way.

But I look at my dearest daughter, and I think:

There is no other child I could have had.

There is no other way this could have happened.

I could not have traversed this life without dropping it all to find her.

And I would let it all go again just to know her again.

Mama to one exquisite soul and teacher extraordinaire,

Goddess Leonie