Mermaid

Hola beautiful souls,

I wasn’t sure whether I would post this or not…

but I would love the support and energy of my tribe with us.

Our Little Mermaid will be with us by tomorrow.

My waters broke an hour or so after this photo was taken by our amazing doula on Sunday.

So far, labour hasn’t established. After waters break, you usually have about 24 hours before midwives become concerned about infection. Last night at 3am {36 hours after}, me, my love, our doula & my dear mentor decided to head over to the hospital. We wanted to get a magical-inside-womb-eye’s-view of Little Mermaid just to check she had enough ocean in there to swim around in, and that all was well.

As we walked into the hospital, I asked all our angels, guides & ancestors to be with us… I imagined them all marching in with us in their thousands.

And blessings upon blessings, Little Mermaid is strong and healthy, and we were blessed with a lovely doctor who was willing to give us another day to see if things begin shifting.

So today… my beloved & I are resting, getting acupuncture, doing meditations. We’ll see how things bloom overnight, otherwise we’ll be receiving magical-love-juice at the hospital tomorrow to begin Little Mermaid’s journey here.

Over and over again, this journey to being a mama has been about having faith, letting go of my own shit, controlling less, accepting more. And I could not ask for birth to be any different.

I’ve cried and grieved over the possibility I may not get that spontaneous waterbirth at the Birth Centre that I wanted. I had this big tight grip on what a “natural” birth meant, and how I needed it to be.

Driving to the hospital last night, hand over my belly, I remembered that the most important thing in all of this – was not about success or failure. It was not about natural birth, or just how much I could make this The Most Perfect Birth Everrrrrr.

This is about bringing a new soul into the world… a teacher, and a shining star for my love and I… and the countless other souls she will touch. And however she needs to come into the world is just perfect.

This morning, talking to a dear mama-friend, she reminded me:

Leonie, it’s not about the medication. This is something much, much bigger. Birth and our children teach us our biggest soul lessons.

And when I called my mama crying at 3am, she said to me softly:

Remember God is in you, and in your body, and with your baby. And God is in doctors and midwives too… they are all helping hands of spirit.

This is not a time to judge myself, my body, or my path. {When is it ever really time?}

This is a time to love and adore myself unconditionally. {And in writing that, big, huge, wet tears well up in my eyes.}

This is a time to honour the exquisite labyrinth of life… the spirit in all paths… the sacred in all things {including ECG machines & magical-inside-womb-eye’s-view things & magical-love-birth-injuicing things}. After all – as much as I think I know the right way, life always shows me better, more beautiful and profound than I could possibly have expected. The thing I think could be the worst could be the best.

Above all the transformation, the changes, the expectations, the changes of path and the not-knowing, one thing I know is clear:

We have been gifted with a Little Mermaid. And soon, she will be with us.

And that is the greatest gift, the most ginormous blessing I have ever encountered.

It’s a miracle already.

Time to rest now… we’ll see if our birth journey kicks off tonight, otherwise we will be at the Healing and Helping Place {my new name for the hospital… important to rename these things!} getting magical-love-injuicement.

If you feel called… we would love to have the energy of this village walking with us, singing the songs of spirit, love and openness, as we welcome this new soul into the world.

My intention is for Little Mermaid to flow out easily, joyfully and beautifully with love.

However that comes true? It will be perfect, and good and right.

What I know for sure… this beautiful journey of life and love is making me the very best me I can be.

I’m going to be a mama! I’m going to be a mama!

biggest of love and JOY,

P.S. LITTLE MERMAID! HERE BY TOMORROW!!!!!!!