In the Healing Circle. From my Day of Delight Retreat.
Hola gorgeous Goddesses!
I want to thank you so deeply for your love, prayers, kindnesses, comments & emails. One of the biggest things I’ve learned over the last couple of weeks is how to Receive. I can be so enthusiastic & excited about giving that I forget to leave space & room in my life to be held & given to.
Thank you for giving. Thank you for believing. Thank you for sharing when you were called. Thank you for being you.
My heart feels like it is receiving love into it.
The Healing Journey
Yesterday I had a breast ultrasound, and watched the waves and lakes of my boobs melting over the television screen. Ultrasounds are such magical things. Oceans of boob, seas of tissue. It’s all organic and liquid and living. Magical, magical, magical. There ended up being a boob-group meeting in that little room: me, my love by my side, lovely ultrasound lady, and then she went and got the doctor on staff. This is the third time I’ve been ultrasounded, but the first time they got a doctor in.
He was Irish, with the most beautiful accent and ginger hair. He wore green suspenders. He made me smile. And he went through and diagnosed the ultrasound *live* as it wafted and waned all over the screen. He showed me where my ribs were, what each part meant, how it all sung together in a lovely symphony of body.
And then we got to my lump. My lump, my lump, my lump on my lovely lady lumps. (Sing it with me now).
And this, he said, is all breast. There’s nothing – no cancer, no growth, not even a cyst. It’s all just breast. Breast tissue can form into harder ridges and lumps, and this is what that is. It’s all good.
And Chris squeezed my hand. And I grinned.
I’ve never been so happy to be all boob in my life.
Sing it with me now
Ceeeeellllebrate good times, come on! Do-do-do-do-do-dooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
So that is one big elephant-sized worry no longer standing in the corner of my room. I’m so very, very glad to be the bearer of happy, healthy breasts.
I think my shoulders have come down about a foot. I’m glad. And grateful. And sinking into that feeling of grace.
With one big elephant-sized worry gone, there’s still healing to do. I’m still exhausted and anxious. In the backyard at sunset yesterday, my love said: It’s understandable honey. The last few months have been really, really big for you. It’s going to take some time to come back again. It’s going to take time to get your juice back.
That it will. My new superhero skill I am in training for is this:
And what have I learned in the process of the lump?
A shit load.
A bugger load about healing, receiving, rest and self kindness. I’ve remembered exactly what’s important to me (My sweet self, my holy-amazing-batman lover, my puppehs, my ridunkulously cool family and endearing friends. Notable things missing from this list: How well my business is doing, how much I’ve blogged this week, how to value myself based on my outputs, how my to-do list is looking and just how productive I’ve been this week).
And I also managed to learn some really wonderful things about herbal healing.
And tomorrow/soon/when I get there I’ll share with you one of the most woah-amazing remedies I’ve discovered on the healing journey.
For now though…
It’s party-time & healing-time all at once.
Time to go watch some Ellen & Oprah and spend the rest of the day in sweet bliss of be-kind-to-self-and-do-nothings.
Love, healing, good news, gentleness,