shine ~ my little sister.
riding in the lift to work this morning, i find myself next to deb. my heart sings.
you were right
i say breathlessly. it came last night.
i take it from my bag. MY book. and i hand it to her.
we step out of the lift. she clasps it to her chest. she reads through it. her eyes well up and splash over.
I LOVE IT she tells me. IT IS PERFECT. And I know she means it, because i Know it myself.
It is EXACTLY sublimely divinely how it needs to be.
There is so little to change. The cover is beautiful. My heart sings.
And even now, sitting at work, it sits beside me. A part of my heart that now lives outside of me. Joyfully, I give this to the world. I do not own this anymore. It is an intrinsic part of me, but it pulls, like a young mare at its reins. Rears its head, mane rippling like a wave in the circle of wind. I am safe on its back. I do not wish for more.
It all feels like it is exactly how I should be. I was checking my website earlier today and my eyes caught on the picture of me with AUTHOR written on it. Yes, that’s me. An author.
I was always going to be an author. Always. This is my destiny. And now I AM.
I always have been pregnant. Even as a child, I felt the yearning of my words~filled womb to give birth to a book.
the beautiful maitri even said this to me:
“Leonie Honey! I am so happy for you!!!
I can’t wait to get my copy!
Gee, this is like having a very pregnant friend about to come home with the baby!”
You know when a woman gives birth, and how her and her partner just want to be alone with the baby together for a little bit?
Just to ruminate and form those bonds. To let the energy seep, to grow breathlessly together in the first few moments, for understanding to take place. To radiate in the love, and come out into the world shinier?
This is what I am doing right now. I am mother and I am daughter to this book, as I am with all my artworks.
I gave birth to it, but it gave birth to me.