from my new bamboo oracle card set…
does not know where is above
and where is below.
It comes from the void.
To the void it will return.
sometimes i am just so amazed by everything.
just so damn happy i am speechless.
yesterday i was dancing by myself in the living room to james taylor, and i stopped dancing, stood still with happiness.
singing in the car on the way to the women’s circle, i cannot move the words out from my belly to the air. i am struck dumb with happiness.
i’m not really exactly sure what this happiness is.
things have been up and down, journeying, challenging, joyful, rocky all at once.
and my skin is stretching from growth,
my feet a little stubbed and scratched from mountain goat tracks.
it’s been a good, leg working journey which leaves me breathless sometimes…
but the view is beautiful. it really is.
to see the sky clearer than i did before.
to wade through murky rivers of my own doubt and fear to the other side of the river banks.
to new places, new destination, new fields in myself.
some beautiful moments in my life of late ~
~ paris arriving at my work step at 9.30 am on a first day back from holidays with a “surprise something”. the most beautiful bamboo oracle set that he said he found and spoke one name to him. i was humbled and blessed by his gifting.
bus friends are blessings.
and bus friends who touch your heart are miracles.
paris and me on ze bus.
~ the women’s circle last night. i am so blessed to be in this group of women.
~ my journey as an artist. months ago, when i went to the labyrinth with the women, ellanita our wise and beautiful leader taught me some important and beautiful lessons as an artist. she spoke about holding on to an art work until it was ready to move on ~ to learn the lessons that we as artists glean from our own artists.
months ago, a dear woman from the circle asked me to do a commission of a mermaid for her. and i did. she lived on a canvas in my living area for three months. i would look at her, she would look at me. there was love and wisdom and sharing between us. we became fused in spirit. those three months were beautiful. i knew we both were gestating, hibernating together before we emerged. there was a part of me that danced with her. she showed me lessons of infinity and beauty and a sky filled with stars. and yesterday, i looked at her, and suddenly i realised it was time. pregnancy leads to birth. it was birthing day. i am mother, she was mother. we gave birth to each other.
she spoke to me. she said: “take me with you to the women’s circle. it is time i go. i want to be a part of the circle as i move onwards.”
so i did. i listened to my mother the painting and my daughter the painting. she went to the women’s circle with me. she joined us women folk in our sharing and our reflection and our transformation. and she passed hands onwards. in love.
so at easter this year, i lay an egg. and i gave birth to a beautiful painting which has now fluttered into a new part of the world. and in so many ways, she gave birth to me. we shared lives for three months, and we will continue to. we are all one.
one day, when i’m floating through cosmic stardust one day i’ll flit by a fleck of a canvas. maybe we’ll be scales side by side on a mermaids tale. or a dewdrop kissing a rose in the morning dewlight.
I leave you, with me in my favourite tree friend,
on my parent’s farm. I dreamt I could touch the stars when cradled in its branches.
I grew up with this tree.