I’m trying something new…
I just thought I might just start writing you love letters here… see how that feels… how it resonates with me and with you.
It’s a Tuesday. I’m sitting in Chris’ new office in our home. For so long he’s been sequestered in a corner of the living room, trying to do creative production work for me whilst crammed between a wall and a door and tumbling children’s bodies… all while we had a guest bedroom that lay still and quiet for 11.5 months of the year.
We decided in a fit of inspiration over the weekend that we had our values all wrong… that it is better for us to feel comfortable in our home than visiting guests… and so we moved the guest bed into Starry’s room so we can all jump on there to read books together… and made Starry’s old bed into a daybed in our living room with cushions galore… we’ll still be able to have guests (yay!) and they’ll still be comfortable (yay!) but in the meantime (all the time)… Chris has his own space. A room of one’s own… He needs it. We all do.
In many ways, Chris becomes a bit like the traditional wife in these situations… he holds the fort with the kids while I’m working on the business. He does his work around naps. He gives me the space I need to do what I love. He gave up his career as a Customs officer to support me and my dreams. I couldn’t be more grateful.
And dear lord, get the man a room already!
His room is now a gentle space filled with his guitar collection (12 and counting) and wooden desks and computers and books. And of course, being the loving, thoughtful, proud Papa Bear he is… he set up a desk up for Starry too and told her it is “Starry and Daddy’s office.”
But at least he has space now. Space for all of him, and all of his loves. No more trying to cram in around the wild shenanigans of family life and hoping none of his precious instruments got broken in the toddler maelstrom.
So this is where we are. More space. Moving things around to fit more of “us”… accepting the space that it takes without shame or concern. It’s a small thing, but it’s a big thing.
I’m visiting him this morning. A little co-working space. He is working on scanning in a mammoth illustrated journal I painted in India, to give out to all our Academy goddesses. I’m writing proposals and dreaming of a new way of moving forward into the next incarnation of myself and my dream and my business.
I’m set up on Starry’s desk, he’s on his.
The children are meandering in and out. Both of them are sick… the last vestiges of winter colds rolling through them.
And despite there being some wild waves and disappointments and heavy hearts around here lately… at its core, life is good. We are here. We are creating.
I hope you are well, dearests. I hope, at its core, life is good for you too.
All my love,
P.S. He just started playing guitar! SWOOOON! In my head, he’s totally serenading me. In his, he’s just playing.