I’m sitting in a dark cafe, drinking tea & cake at 8am.
When I asked for cake at this time, she was confused and asked me again to make sure she’d heard correctly.
To which, internally, I thought: HOW VERY DARE YOU. OF COURSE I AM HAVING CAKE AT 8AM. I AM A GROWN ASS WOMAN AND I CAN DO WHAT I WANT.
Of course, their cake is stale, but at least their tea is good.
I feel like I’m getting on the horse again after a long spell off.
Like, blogging: is this how you do it?
I might have blogged for the last 17 years, but give me a month off, and all of a sudden, I don’t know how to do it.
Begin again, I remind myself.
From this book.
I don’t think I’m burnt out per se… at least, not burnt out like I have done burnout before:
Burnout like it’s a competitive sport. Burnout like crippling anxiety. Not stopping until the well wasn’t just empty but bankrupt and my body gave me no choice but to stop.
This is like burnout from 10 miles away. Time to slow down, stop, fill the tank long before it goes bust.
Look at me, taking care of myself BEFORE it is a mission critical situation.
That’s progress, I reckon.
I think what I’m learning along the way as well is that the more time you can give yourself OFF work, the more you can make better, more strategic decisions. And your work just gets better and deeper. Taking a month off over Christmas was beyond useful. As the old business adage goes… You gotta slow down to speed up.
I still don’t know what’s next. And I’m not even “back at work” really.
I just wanted to write. Muse out loud.
Say hello. I’m here, gestating, waiting, germinating.
I asked the angels yesterday to give me a new project.
I haven’t heard back from them yet. I’ll let you know once I know.
Be gentle with you. You are loved, you are safe, you are whole.