me and nixie
{photo by lilith}

can you hear the sound of wings,
of hearts soaring,
bodies dancing,
voices singing, speaking, sharing,
DARING to be all of us:
the weepy, the courageous, the vulnerable, the strong,
the silly, the sublime, the divine, the empowered.

how do i share of a goddess retreat?

there were more than a dozen of us, all united by our love of sark-ulence.

i miss them,
but they are not missing.

there in me lies a rainbow of images:
the ocean and the inga and the rainforest and the backyard.

the darkness of night setting as light shone from every single one of us in our twilight ritual.

i miss sitting on the verandah at 2am in the freezing cold to hear nixie’s life story. i miss going to sleep next to sonja, giggling and whispering, getting uncy legion to tuck us in, and raven singing us lullabies. i miss my big girls boggers {who staged the intervention and stole them?}. i miss being curled up on the couch in a love bundle of calipops, sg and nixie. i miss the card readings. i miss eating dessert for breakfast. i miss dancing like crazy wonderful freaks at 2pm. i miss walking in the rainforest with each of you and seeing the owl and the water and the mist. i miss eating fudge with a spoon and photographing you all as goddesses.

i miss pg’s embrace like a motherly goddess, planting kisses on my face and calling me beautiful girl. i miss uncy furry and his hugging toll and all of him in his his~ness. i miss praxis, lilith, green eyed forest nymph in her vulnerability and innocence and openness and beauty. i miss sweet amarlia’s face, those blue ocean sky eyes so wide, the readiness and the moment~living in all she embodied, earth maiden~mama goddess. i miss paige, the soul of lizard, sweet, precious, warm, open, chanting, deeply beautiful paige. i miss sg and her ding dang gorgeousness ~ funny, wise, loving, naughty, card reading, marvellous brooch wearing goddess. i miss calipops raspy, sweet voice and the way she held me when i needed it. i miss nixie, goddess i miss nixie, i see her face and voice in the ones around me now, and i know i have learned deeply from this woman. i miss rikki, marika, she of the mermaid hair who evokes avalon and priestess and ethereal woman as we photographed her, sweet sweet soul. i miss tanishka, beautiful scorpee medicine woman sister, and her divine gifts and laugh and springy hair. i miss rav & legion, they of the loving of ages couple. i miss elke, my twin, my blond haired, blue eyed, turquoise and lavendar wearing, artistic, photographer, horse loving sister, she of the sweet, wise, deep soul kind. i miss sone and her laugh and curling up with her and stroking her hair and just be~ing with my friend. i miss my svedish alter ego inga, because let’s face it, she’s a dingdang hoot.

i miss all of this, but it is not apart from me. it is IN me now, and will forever resound there. the lessons, the blessings, the dreams, the memories.

i thank you deeply for your gifts. they adorn my wrists, my ankles, my mouth, my heart, my spirit sings for you and of you.