Panda bears,

It’s a rainy Sunday. So rainy, in fact, that our roof is leaking in two places, and we’ve had to call out the emergency roofing guys. It’s our first leaking roof experience. I’ve never felt like more of an adult. You know, that’s all I think getting older is: ticking off more things in the human experiences list. LEAKING ROOF? TICK.

Not sure I’ll get to writing tomorrow – we’re doing an early Christmas with my in-laws, providing the rain doesn’t hinder the way. I skipped writing on Friday as well, and instead took to bed for the afternoon again. I don’t know if it’s a hormonal thing, a weather thing, an end-of-the-year thing, but I’ve had headaches appear around midday for a few days now and stick around. I’m taking it as a sign to start shifting down gears and rest more.

We finished another season of Alone last night, and I straight up CHEERED for the winner (and the runner-up). For those who haven’t heard me before in my many, many fan-girl rants about this show: it’s a reality TV show where they drop 10 people into the wilderness in separate locations by themselves. They have to last as long as they can off the land. The longest one out there wins. It really is my very favourite reality TV show of all time. It’s cinematic and quiet and completely intriguing. Plus, I think it touches something deep inside us – this not-so-distant memory where we needed to survive off the earth using only our hands.


It’s now Tuesday. In-law Christmas DONE! Guide to a stress free Christmas blog post DONE!

Still to do:

  • Finish 2020 Best Books list
  • Sell another $100k of books in the next month.

In more adulthood news, the rain caused a sinkhole over our old sewerage system, so we are calling in a man with an excavator to fill it. I briefly considered filling it myself with spade and wheelbarrow, transporting soil from the back of our acreage up to the sinkhole.

Because in my heart of hearts, I’m a farm girl, used to pulling off great miracles from sweat alone. I think of mustering cattle all day in the sweltering summer when I was 8. I think of picking up 2 tonnes of hay in an afternoon in 25kg bales when I was 14. But that was then, and this is now. In the intervening years, with two pregnancies, my ligaments have become excessively hypermobile, and I dislocate bones with alarming regularity. The last time I went hiking, I dislocated both hips and prolapsed a disc.

I did three grunting loads, realised I’d approximately filled 5% of the sinkhole, and was already starting to feel the tell tale pulls of ligaments. So I thought: you know what? Let’s save the months-long recovery process, save on the osteopath bills and just hire a fucking machine for $300 and be done with it.


It’s now Friday.

It’s been a big week.

I got my diagnostic review at last, and was formally diagnosed with ASD. It’s still sinking in, and I think the insights will continue to emerge for days and months to come. Mostly, I just feel relieved and proud.

I’ve finished my Best Books list for the year. I often think about how it’s the most time-intensive thing I product each year… purely because of the hundreds of hours I spend reading to research. But, let’s face it, I’d be reading anyways. And I GET TO READ BOOKS. I am officially living the dream!

I’ve been struggling with a headache and resultant brain fog… likely from those three loads of dirt I wheelbarrowed. My shoulders and neck are tiiiiiiight. I need to get a massage.



I woke up just after 6am this morning to get an early morning massage/body work session.

I live down the road from an older bloke who does all kinds of body work, and is a bit of a legend around these parts. He could only fit me in for an early morning session though, so I took it.

Imagine my surprise when I discovered I wasn’t even his first client for the day… he’d already done two hours of sessions before me. Fuck me, people really ARE keen to see him.

After the session though, I can see why. Dude has a gift.

I realised a month or so ago that I don’t have a good massage therapist close by – I’ve been getting by on osteo sessions from Dr Soph (who is brilliant). I’m glad I’ve found this dude, he’ll be an awesome resource too.


This mish-mash of diary entries has taken me a week or so to pull together.

I’ve been creating everyday, and feeling like I’m in the swing of things. Everyday, I wake up and think: I could write about that! And I can barely wait to get to my laptop and begin to tap tap tap away, let the words form and flow out. I’m remembering who I am again, and what I have to say. It’s exactly what I hoped for when I started doing this experiment. What a miracle.

I’ll keep writing to you.

I’m glad you’re here. I’m glad we’re here. I’m glad we’re doing this.

Your Penpal,

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