sonya, red spider spiral woman

Thank you for this weekend. I miss you already.

I loved it all. The little moments and the big.

Sitting around the table, sharing by the light of the never ending triple candle.

Showing you our favourite bookstore. You, me and Chris all sitting on that wooden bench, delighting in the books around us.

All of us getting the hankering for ice cream at once.

That beautiful golden labrador who loved us just as much as we loved him.

spirit arms

I love that I found that feather, stuck it in my hair, and promptly named myself Brave Eagle for the weekend. I love that Chris became Buff the Buffalo. That it was only feasible to give Charlie the totem name of Penguin. And that you decided to name yourself the first animal that presented itself to you…
and that we were standing outside the asian grocery store, and you exclaimed:
hey look! a redback spider! oh….. hang on…
and we laughed.
we went home and drew our totems on each other’s arms in silver eyeshadow, and there they remain. Buff, Brave Eagle and Red Spider Spiral Woman.
i love that you honoured your name, just as it found you.

i love that feathers became an indelible part of our weekend journey. that everywhere we went, we found them, and tucked them into our hair. they became a part of our altar, our hair styles, and the way we danced through life.

sone and penguin laughing…

I love that you love my dog. And I love that he loves you so very much.
{What is it with you too? It is a past life connection indeed…}

i love that i said:
let’s play goddess dress ups
and you said:
i wish we were friends when we were five. you would have been a great friend when i was five.
funny, coz i think the same about you.
and i pulled out every piece of goddess wear i owned on to the couch, and we played dress ups.
i “did your hair” like i did my sisters.
we put on delicious makeup and bindis, collected a bundle of shawls and cameras,
and walked down my street like it was the most natural thing on earth:
just two goddesses, going on a picnic.
little girls on bikes stared.
we sashayed our hips, let the breeze ripple our hair and float our dresses.
just two goddesses, going on a picnic.
we spoke of our intentions for our goddess photo shoot.
i want to show my soul.
and there on a beautiful green field filled with tiny flowers and tiny bees,
we took photos of each other with an old camera. one that makes that satisfying clicking sound and asks for film.

afterwards, we just lay there in the grass. smiling and sharing and feeling like two earth mamas. the hours trickled by. it was dreamlike and goddesslike and all things i want in a connection.

we watched the sky for a while,
then we rolled onto our bellies and watched the bees.
the wind blew over us, and we were cocooned there, on mother gaia’s bosom, connected to every single thing on this earth.

when we got up to leave, we took this photo ~ and i think it says everything.
i felt so deeply in myself. i felt like we were speaking out of spirit. we were radiant again. we were reminded of our own magnificence.

remember how we giggled as we walked back to the house, and we both said how we hoped that the mushroom pate would be cooked by the time we got home? and as we walked up the stairs, the smell of mushrooms reached us, and I ran into the house to find my lover cooking it for us? that was magic. we can create exactly what we want sone spider woman… just weave our webs of intention, and watch it all happen.

remember how we played SARK’s Creative dream game…
and all these things came spilling out of us ~ truth, hopes, fears,
and REALisations that fell out of our mouths before we could scoop them back up and pretend like they didn’t happen. truths about procrastination and holding back and resistance to napping and ignoring our bodies.

and those two crystals… the sweet scented candles… the books in brown bags…

the bushwalk in the wetlands. afterwards, walking up to hanging rock, where we first met, you as my goddess of honour at my inner marriage ceremony. this time we were with chris. we went and sat on the rock again, looking out over the green valley, hearing the sounds of birds and trees and nothing else.
and when we looked back behind us, we saw chris sitting on another rock, his eyes closed, his head to one side, a peaceful smile upon his face. we ask later if he was nature dreaming. he replied: i was just listening… drinking it all in…

pancake breakfast.

chilled chrysanthemum tea.

mushroom pate and halva overdose.

waking up each morning and going into your room, to plop on your bed and start our morning that way. chatting and charlie.

I want you to know that I honoured our commitment to listen to our bodies more. Not just push through the tiredness in search of being more productive. This afternoon, I napped with him for the first time in a long time. It was a ginormous, gentle nap, and it was splendid.

my dear friend,
i believe in you.
thank you for being you.
thank you for the million magical moments.
i will carry these in my heart and spirit always.

love you,
brave eagle