Dearests,

Does what it says on the box.

  1. Last week, I watched “He’s All That”. 0/10. So fucking bad. Soooooo bad.
  2. What makes it worse however, is I didn’t think of my posture on the couch while I watched it.
  3. When I woke up in the morning, I could barely walk.
  4. Went to Beloved Osteopath. Spine had descended into pelvic bowl and was now stuck there with muscle spasms. Fuckkkkkkk. This is the horrific pain of having hypermobility: the smallest, randomest shit makes your bones dislocate. Remember that time last year I dislocated my pelvic bowl & prolapsed lumbar disc and it took 5 months to heal? I did that from fucking WALKING.
  5. This time, the pain has been breathtakingly bad. I’ve woken up and not been able to roll over in bed. I’ve had to wake Chris up to get him to help me out of bed. I have fretted that I wouldn’t be able to get myself off the toilet. I have been so very afraid that this is my body at 38. How the fuck am I going to survive my Elder Years?
  6. Went away on a mini break to visit our in-laws. First time we’ve travelled in 3 years. I was determined to go. We had a good time. Will share more about this when I am functioning. But now, let me continue to kvetch.
  7. We intended to take an extra day to be there, but Chris didn’t want the kids to miss a day of school, so we came back early. That morning after we came back and took the kids to school? We had a car accident. Ran into a big kangaroo. We were ok. The kangaroo miraculously was ok. Our car? Not. Bits of car all over the road. Managed to limp the car back home with weeping children in shock, too upset for school anyway. Their first car accident. A milestone.
  8. Car will be in panel beaters for next two months.
  9. Called Wild Bushman Dad to cheer up the weeping children. Let him projectile shout in the phone to them “YOU’LL BE ALRIGHT DARLINS. GRANDAD’S HIT PLENTY OF FUCKING ROOS. MAINLY WALLABIES THOUGH. THEY GET STUCK UNDER THE CAR AND FUCK UP YOUR STEERING. IT’S BLOODY SCARY BUT AT LEAST YOU’RE OK. GRANDAD LOVES YOU.” It really did cheer them up, and me too.
  10. Tell me you’re Australian without telling me you’re Australian…
  11. Back to the osteopath yesterday, bent sideways in the most painful of ways, my whole torso tight in spasms. The receptionists flinch as they see me shuffle in all bent up, struggling to get in and out of chairs. I cry on the osteopath’s table for the first time, body shrieking in pain. All that travel and a car accident had made me go backwards.
  12. No walking, no stretching, no yoga, no pilates. Nothing but rest, heat packs and more osteo sessions until we can unbend the bent, unspasm the spasm.
  13. I have to cancel a bunch of interviews and friend dates. I feel like a shite friend. As much as I want to see mates & have a lark… it’s a fucking delicate balancing act between parenting kidliwinks, owning a company, the autismz & a body that dislocates when sneezing. Every time I’m in the clear, something new rears its head.
  14. Life continues to happen, apace.
  15. In conclusion, fuck “He’s All That.” Not worth the agony.

All my love,
Your wonky friend,
Leonie

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