Hola gorgeous Goddesses!

The number one question I get asked from pregnant mamas is how they can prepare for childbirth.

I thought it might be useful to find my diary notes from when I was pregnant about what I did – and compare them to the notes after birth!

Sound like fun?


Let’s go!

What I worried about when I was 20 weeks pregnant

This weekend, my love and I went to a full two-day Calmbirth workshop. As soon as I became pregnant, I started researching which courses I wanted to do to prepare.

For me, I see birth as being a Great Initiation, and a vision quest for my soul… so I am surrounding myself with the right and sacred teachers, wisdom and support to help me on that journey.

I knew I wanted to learn something like hypnobirthing – which is basically using meditation techniques to centre yourself during birth.

The Calmbirth workshop is bringing up so many pieces of medicine and healing for me to look at.

One of the things we looked at during workshop was how our partners could provide the support and space we needed to give birth… and we all talked about (amongst much giggling like teenagers) what we needed in order for sex to happen, as the needs were transferrable. So all the lovely partners were volunteering how they seduce their women, using romance and scene-setting like massaging, intimacy, candles, aromas and food. The whole gorgeous point of all of this was that the same techniques can be applied by partners during childbirth to help their wives stay relaxed, calm, and in an intimate space.

And when they got to my sweet, shy man to ask him his seduction techniques, he giggled, turned red and said “uhhhh… I ask? We’re both Scorpios, we don’t need much more than that!” And I howled with laughter, because it was true.

And then I got to think about it… I wondered what it was that I needed in order to be intimate… seeing that I would need that same quality when it came to birthing… whether it be a dark place, a feeling of safety or a feeling of connection with my body.

And I realised the thing I need the most during intimacy is total emotional connection. My love and I have been in love for over eight years now… we share the same star sign, the same ocean-sky eyes and the same spiritual beliefs. I like to say that we appear different on the outsides (he is more introverted, I’m more extroverted), but on the inside, we are the same. He’s my twin in so many ways – as well as being someone who constantly amazes me, teaches me, grounds me, and is my beautiful smooth river stone to rest against. We can look into each other’s eyes and have complete conversations without saying anything. (I do want to say that we by no means have a “perfect relationship” – but we definitely work on it, and we totally adore each other.)

So I see that what I need most of all during intimacy, and birthing, is knowing that he is on the same page as me, looking in my eyes and present and connected with me. I do want to say though – when I say “emotionally connected” – I don’t mean for him to feel my emotions with me. I don’t ever believe that’s a helpful thing, and we believe it’s totally important for both of us to stay in our own energy and own our own emotions. Instead, I just want him to be there, present in his own emotions and body, with clear lines of emotional and soul connection with me.

How CalmBirth helped my love during birth

Chris was definitely that gentle river stone for me during birth. He gave away his own emotions for the time I was in labour so he could be where I needed him to be. He listened in to me {even when I didn’t speak}. I didn’t feel he left the room – even though he did take breaks. He was present, grounded, and there. He turned up with all of himself.

It was a great gift. I’m so glad we had done CalmBirth together twice so that he was prepared, and had settled his own fears before entering the birthing room.

It massively changed our relationship in the birth room, and gave my love a huge amount of self-assurance and wisdom, tools and knowledge about what I most needed – and what our baby most needed.

He knew without doubt that his job- was for him to give us a safe, loving, grounded, held space to birth within. And that’s what he did.

I’m so incredibly grateful and blessed.

How Calm Birth Still Helps My Parenting

CalmBirth taught me how to use meditation & breath to manage extreme amounts of pain.

To this day, I still use CalmBirth.

I go to sleep quicker using Hypnobirthing breath.

When Ostara was a newborn and I was having middle of the night freak outs, I would do the same relaxing breath work – I figured if it could help me get through birth, it could help me get through anything.

Whenever I’ve been in pain or anxiety or about to lose my shit –

back to the breath.

Using concerted, scheduled, conscious breathing can lessen pain, re-circuit brain freak outs, balance wacky hormones.

Breathing might sound simple…

but when it makes the difference between an unbearable and a bearable one?

And let any labouring woman tell you: that’s a whole world of difference right there.

It’s definitely powerful – and it’s incredibly helpful to know.

I can absolooodely, unequivocally recommend for any pregnacious mamas & couples to do a CalmBirth, Hypnobirth or Hypnobabies course wherever and whenever you can. The workshops are the best way of doing it, but if you can’t do that, than a homestudy course of any of them would be really, really helpful.

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to all of us & our amazing mama strength,