So today, I was asked by three people where my latest blog was…
It just made me sit up and think… Oh! People are reading this stuff! It’s part of their daily habit! Wow!
I remember back in the first few weeks of this blog starting, when dearest Helena wrote in an email to me saying it was part of her daily lunchtime routine ~ to look at my blog. I felt so chuffed by it! To be read by someone every day!
Then today, three lovely girls from work asked me about the absence of a Monday blog…
And I just didn’t realise that it would be missed.
So thank you, lovely lovelies for letting me know. I do so appreciate it!
The lush Lile emailed me at work saying: “If you need something to talk about in your blog, I’ll give you something.” She waits until I receive it, open it, read it. Then she walks to my desk and proceeds to silly~dance, and then air~guitar. It was hysterical, spontaneous and entirely sweet. The dear Deb visits our desks, and when she leaves, I am breathless for laughter.
So dear, readers… this is me…
This week, I feel a little bit like I am “in hold mode” ~ like when a plane is ready for take off, and it is waiting for its signal. Its where things have changed, and I’m just having a rest and reflection before the next wave of change comes to surge around me and lift me deliriously from my feet, toes barely touching the sand dune beneath. Change with all its murky mysteries. When the ocean surges, the water is opaque and unclear, and I am unable to see my feet or what newness surrounds me. It invigorates me and reminds me of the everyday magic of renewal. It calms me, it frightens me, it inspires me.
When the swell reaches the shore, and the ocean calms, I can see once again into the clear waters, to my feet and the sand, and find the treasures that change has brought me.
A bejewelled coral of new friendship here, a bleached coral of old friendship fading half submerged in the sand. I hold tight to both pieces, weeping gently over the older more fragile coral for friendships of past, and rejoicing over the new, vibrant colourings of coral for new friendships ~blossoming, blooming, uplifting~ for all its many blessings. Sitting on the beach, hair curling, sand on my face, my legs; like a mermaid come ashore. Cradling my pieces of coral.
Finding in the shallows treasures swept up from the depths by the latest waves of change. Shining pieces of beach glass, memories of my brother. Stirred up by a talk with a clairvoyant. I wipe the beach glass clean, reflecting in it love past, love lost, love regained. Love traversing distance and through the glass walls of death. Love for my brother, and the connection that still ties us. Soft tears falling on the beach glass, washing away years of grit and the tarnish of forgetting. I keep my beach glass close to my heart, and tell myself I will take it out every day and see it again what I saw the first time. Seeing my brother, a shining light, still by my side, still showering me with love. Still.
Gems of innumerable quantities and qualities finding their way to my feet. Surrounded by a swell of gratefulness and love and endless possibility.
The sweet seaweed of tranquillity and peace found tangled around my ankle. The other day, someone said to me: I love reading your posts. They always exude such peacefulness and tranquillity.
Peace. Tranquil. Words that have never been used to describe me before. I keep thinking over that. She thinks I am peaceful. The sound of this makes my heart swell. Peaceful. Yes. This is me now, how I am wishing to be. This is what I ask in my life, and this is what I am learning to be. I bind my seaweed into a necklace of peacefulness, and place it around my neck.
Shells. Surrounding me. Shells of creation. Shells of writing, of art, of painting, of photography. Shells that were always a part of my environment, but are now close enough to touch and embrace. Perfectly shaped, smoothened by the ocean, holding the sound of the sea. Each so different in shape and colour. I adorn myself with my shells. I, the Scorpio, the one of the shells. Shells growing, becoming large enough for me to lie in, sleep in, dream in. Shells around my wrists, hands, neck, waist, ankles, in my hair. Shells shimmering in the light, making a soft chiming sound as I walk and play and swim.
The sea opening to me. I feel the soft vibrations in the sand. Feeling my heart expanding. Being overwhelmed by love for my merman. From the shore I see him playing with our merdog, the waters green and blue and azure. Seeing him as he is. Falling asleep beside my partner, lulled by gentle waves. He knows this change this just as well as I do. My merman, my partner, my soul’s mate. Self-love, together-love, love emanating. The family of us, and our dog.
Yes, the seas of change have been moving. The waves churning me over, making me feel so joyful just to be alive. The need for delicious air driving me to the surface, the desire for submersion in the liquid of life pulling me down to play in the waves. Alive. So very alive.
And momentarily, the waves have subsided, leaving me elated yet overwhelmed. Softly reflecting, gently finding that which the waves have brought me.
I am a mermaid today. A mermaid reflecting on the beauty of the waves of change.