Hola gorgeous Goddess!
Since becoming a mama, I’ve had a bazillion and one thoughts… These thoughts, they come and go but are soooo incredibly intense when you are in the middle of them, rummaging around, searching for your truth and your old normal self. They’ve taken me by surprise… by how many I have, how intense they are, and how they change from moment to moment. So much so I think in tired midnight hours… is this normal? does every mama go through this?
And the thing is, I think we do, in our own mama ways.
So I wanted to share some of those thoughts with you…
So when you are in the midst of them, you will know you have company and a goddess sister walking the path with you.
I am overwhelmed.
I can’t do this anymore.
This is pretty easy… I think I might possibly have a handle on this gig!
I AM SO HUNGRY!
Why doesn’t anyone ever say how hard this is?
This moment, only once. Breathe.
She’s only this little once. She’s only going to need me this much for this little amount of time.
Six weeks feels forever away. How will I make it?
Three months has gone sooo quickly!
How on earth am I ever supposed to do everything with one hand?
What do I do with baby when I’m home alone and need to go to the toilet and she needs me??? (I just take her with me now. So much easier!)
How does anyone survive this?
How on earth does anyone have two kids?
I wouldn’t mind another one.
I’ve decided I’m only having one kid.
I want to be an artist again!!!
I am officially a mum superhero! I can do anything!
I want to run away. Or just have someone do this for me.
As long as I get to sleep next to Starry at night. That’s my favourite part. Oh yes, and during the day when I sing to her and watch her face light up and hear her gurgling. I love that, I have to be here for that. And oh yes I like the part where I am carrying her in a sling too. I don’t want to miss out on a single thing. I don’t really want to run away, I just wish someone else could just hold her for five minutes during the day. What would I do with that five minutes?Oh, I would brush my hair! Cut my toe nails! Stare off into space! Put washing on with TWO HANDS. Two hands! A luxury!
This is hard work.
I go to sleep with Starry’s giggle playing over and over in my head like a lullaby.
I feel immensely protective over pregnant mamas and new mamas and any mama.
I get it now. I really get it.
Oh god, why is baby crying now?
Why do I have to be so responsible now?
Oh look, she just lifted her head for ten seconds!!! She is amazing!!
Oh god, why is she waking up so often? Whyyyyy?
I need chocolate.
The sight of her and her daddy melts my heart. That is love.
Oh gawd, she just fell asleep on his chest. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything more beautiful in my life.
Am I doing a good enough job?
I should be doing better!
When I look in her eyes it is like looking at the dearest friend on the planet.
I wish I could make things more sacred.
Holy dinger this is hard.
Breastfeeding is the best!
Breastfeeding is hard work!
Thank God for breastfeeding, gosh it makes things easy.
I LOVE YOU WORLD!!!
I can’t imagine doing all this again.
I can’t imagine life without Starry.
Please no one touch me. I’m all touched out.
Oh gawd I look tired.
Things will get easier. Deep breaths.
Will I ever feel like my self again?
Free time? Ha ha ha HA HA HA!!!!! HAAAA!!!
Everything they say about motherhood is true.
I am becoming a freakin Buddha!
But this is hard work!
This moment only once.
And I can think this all in one day. One hour even.
Wherever you are, dearest… New mama, older mama, maiden, child-free, crone, grandmother… I want to open out my arms to you. Fling them open to your loveliness and your humanity. Your bravery and your vulnerability. Your strengths and your frailty. Whoever you are, however you are, I love you and am in awe of you. This life thing is big work, isn’t it? But we’re doing it. We’re doing it with our tender hearts, our imperfections, and the light that peers through all our cracks. Even at our most disheveled, wrinkled, broken, tired, we are more luminous than we ever hoped possible.
You are so welcome to add your own mama thoughts in the Comments Circle… know this place is held in safety, without judgement, in love and goddess mama support.
Can you imagine if there was a cheersquad of angels pom-poming our names? I believe there are…