Hola my darlingheart,
I want to tell you a story.
Once upon a time, I went to a management course thingy for my cubicle job.
Sounds enlightening, no?
Sometimes the Miracles that change us the most come wrapped in the disguise of Normal.
That was the case with this.
One Monday morning, I got onto a little white bus with dozens of other cubiclers – all strangers.
The two hour drive into the green, rolling mountains was quiet. No one spoke. They nodded off into early morning naps, fastened headphones into their ears, pretended to be absorbed in the morning paper. All the while, we snuck glances at each other. Who were these people we were to spend the next two days with?
On Tuesday night, as we drove back into the city, our little bus was vastly different.
Where before there was silence and strangers…
A miracle had occurred.
There, in the white bus, hurtling through the evening dark, we shone like a thousand stars in love with each other and themselves.
We were a comet. A comet of laughter and tears.
Behind me, an older man spoke, perhaps for the first time, about going to war. About cancer. About being a single father. About having to leave countries. About how hard it had all been, how much he loved his children and how deeply grateful he was.
Women shared their stories together. They held hands, and laughed through tears, saying:
A soft kind man sat beside me, and told me his childhood secrets.
I pulled a Native American flute from my bag, and stumbling breathlessly, played a song to the bus, to the woman with angel eyes sitting at the front who so longed to remember her joy again.
We were the sound of hearts broken open so thoroughly that our only thing left was to be vulnerable.
To allow the vulnerability in like we had been gasping for it, as needed as air.
We came together as strangers. Less than 48 hours later, we left each other, embracing each other, with shining tears in our eyes. Witnesses to each other’s hearts.
The next morning, I made this video – the first time I had cried on video. It was definitely not my last.
I wonder what it would have been like to be that bus driver. The one who had dropped us off quiet & unspeaking only to pick us up as the very best of friends.
He must have wondered what had happened in those hours between.
What must have happened to make us all open and shine so much?
I can only tell you in words and photos, and even they are not enough.
There was many things that happened while we were there.
There, we were surrounded by golden fields that glowed in the sunlight. A lake surrounded by weeping willows, dragging their leafy fingertips across its surface.
There was a 70 year old man with white shining hair, brilliant blue eyes and a smile that came easily, filling a room with his happiness. His brown-eyed love, who sat in the room watching everyone. My brother tells me I have X-ray eyes, she tells me with a mischevious smile.
And as each hour unfurls, so too do we. Slowly, our hard little clay exteriors begin to crack, and wash away in the rains.
We talk. We learn a new meditation – one that surprises me with its power. We breathe deeply into it. We fall asleep on the floor. We write. We talk more.
Over dinner, people begin to share their stories.
That night, we have to write letters to people we haven’t forgiven. In my soft cream room by the lake, I cry in the night. I can hear the sounds of all my other heart’s comrades writing their own letters in the velveteen evening.
It feels like skin on canvas, like tattoing our shame for the world to see. Our pens are feverish and damp. We fret that we couldn’t possibly say what we need to. And yet, we must. It is at once awful and utterly liberating.
Our pains are privately written in the night.
At the first light of dawn, I awake and walk through the mist to the lake. My heart is open and branded with light. I am vulnerable, and each cell inside me tingles. I am struck by the bravery of every soul here.
I pull my flute from my bag, and play long, fluid songs over the water. Prayers that we all might be healed.
In the morning light, we all look a little puffy. We eat breakfast.
We march back into that meeting room, and we do what must be done.
We open those wretched, tear-stained pieces of paper, and we read them aloud.
We sob. We pass boxes of tissues to each other. We say:
And our stories rise and fall. We are crescendos of birds, sharing with the world for the first time, all those things that lay heavy upon our hearts. We fling clutches of crows into the air.
And then, just like that, the sobs ease, and the birds arc off into the sky. We are free of them.
And we lay back down on the floor, and breathe again.
Falling heavier and heavier into the softest, kindest, deepest meditation I have ever known.
Those two days were one of the greatest healing experiences of my life.
I wish I could give you the whole healing experience, but how on earth could I package a lake and a bus?
I want to give you the essence of this healing though. This meditation technique is such a profound, powerful gift. For me, I go deeper into zennified space than I ever have before. My muscles soften, my breath deepens. I go much quicker into an amazing space of peace. And when I awake from it, I usually have some bright insights about things I need to do.
I’ve tried a bazillion meditation techniques. I’ve stared into candles. I’ve chanted. I’ve gazed upon the images of gurus. I’ve done funny things with my nose and fingers to breathe in and out through alternating nostrils. I’ve read meditation books by the dozen. I’ve got a box dedicated to meditation CDs I’ve bought. I’ve gone to weekly meditation classes in winter with a group of my lovely friends – my favourite part was buying roasted chestnuts afterwards and eating them until it was hard to breathe. I’ve invented the Meditationap.
And this one was the one that really worked for me.
It really is my own Holy Dinger Uber Deep Zennifying experience.
As soon as I learned this meditation, I wanted to share it with you.
And I wanted to make a package so you could really use this technique in your life.
Please note this meditation is different from the usual Goddess Leonie meditations – it is the ancient So Hum technique as taught by many teachers. Usually my meditations are original visualisations – just the way I like it. But I found this technique so incredibly helpful in going deep into stillness that I felt really called to share it with you. And make it into a kit that would make it most helpful to you. If you’ve got any more questions, please just email me!
So I made you the Holy Dinger Uber Deep Zennifying Meditation Kit…
You’ll get four MP3s in this kit:
- An introduction MP3 explaining the technique
- Three meditations of different lengths – 5, 10 and 20 minutes. That way, each day you’ll be able to choose how long you want to meditate for, and have a meditation to know when ze time is up. I dunno about you – but sometimes it’s hard just getting started in meditation. So the beauty of having a 5 minute meditation is you can commit to something small and easy. Just a moment of meditation is worth a hundred moments without. So yus. Choices all around, dearest heart.
Want to buy?
Two options my dearest heart!
You can buy this kit for US $24.95. Just click the button below & you’ll get instant access.
Otherwise, you can become a Goddess Circle member for only $99 & get this meditation kit and everyyyyything wlse I’ve created – over $600 of my other e-courses, meditations & workbooks.
Okay my darlingheart. Thank you for joining me in this story. Whether this is right for you right now or not is utterly perfect.
And if you have any questions at all, please just email me dearest heart. I’d be so happy to help.
May your day be utterly profound.
Thank you for being you!
Big love and gentle blessings,