pain is growing

.

it’s like this you see
every day lately
i come up against things
old stuff and old pain
in new circumstances

i’m
becoming
more
conscious

all the usual “old stuff”
:: about people
:: about anger
:: about dealing with others
:: about perfectionism
:: about feeling ordinary and afraid

what’s different about it now
is that i’m aware of it
i’m starting to see that there are different ways
if only i let go of the old ways
and start feeling with my heart
start today with the way I would like to be
not the prickly way that I have been in the past

i realised today that all my pain, all my discomfort, all my aching
it’s G R O W I N G
its me seeing what’s working
what isn’t
and to do something about it

walking to uni this afternoon i began
thinking of my body with love
sending love to each atom
and i realised that i felt more loved within me
that i’d react differently to others
if i acted out of this love inside me

each day is a new chance
to get it right
balance and tenderness and self loving

this is my walk
my journey
my life
and everyday it is
MY CHOICE
how i choose to be, act, re-act, think and love.

i walk this one with love.