Leonie at 8:14pm last night was relaxed, slopping about on the couch like some kind of Renaissance beauty. She wasn’t thinking of much beside what trash she would read that night as a bedtime story to herself. Little did she know what would come next.
Leonie at 8:15pm last night has a flash of inspiration and decides then and there that she/they must WRITE again. Every day this month!
She/they proceeds to do just that. (Also: I’m experimenting with my pronouns. Can you tell? Humour me in this experiment as you humour me in ALL my experiments – writing, gender identity, business & more!)
8:30pm Leonie finishes their blog post triumphantly and wonders: But where should I share this to? Who will read this? Maybe I should just tell people I’m doing this? And maybe give them the option to get daily emails? And if like 10 people want it that’s cool, it’s like writing letters to a tight knit group of penpals! While I’m at it… maybe I should email my entire mailing list and see if they want it too?
6:30am Leonie today: wakes up, sees 600 people have signed up for something and then suddenly remembers what 8:31pm Leonie thought was a good idea last night.
HO HO HO HO HO.
They blink rapidly, shakes their head, begins to laugh, and congratulates themselves on being the magnificent untameable imaginative unicorn they are, susceptible to wild bursts of inspiration. Forever overcommitting themselves to projects, and then usually pulling them off with great aplomb anyhows.
So here we are once more. On another one of those Glorious Leonie Experiments, where nobody knows quite what will happen, least of all me. I can only assure you it will be a grand adventure of one kind or another. Lessons will be learned, creations will be made, connections will be strengthened.
I voice mailed my assistant this morning just to let her know that Leonie has had Yet Another Idea, and inform her what that will mean for her.
I must say, I approach these conversations with a slight amount of trepidation. In the past, I’ve had staff members who get shitty when I don’t plan out with them in advance what I’m going to do and when, and how it will affect their work plans. I get that it would probably be annoying for a lot of personality types to work for me. So even though I’ve never had anything but rad excitement & support from my current assistant, I still find it slightly tricky anyway.
She replied back in the most perfect of ways:
Oh I know you’re doing that! I got the email when you sent it out to the mailing list! I signed straight the fuck up because that sounded so fun! It sounds like you probably don’t need me to do anything as you’ll be doing all the writing, but if I can support you in anyway on the backend, I’m here for you! Fuck yeah let’s do this!
It was a real joy and relief, I tell you.
I guess that’s the only hiring advice I can ever give you, as an entrepreneur. Find people who fit your work style, and are happy to ride with the gifts & challenges of that. I tried for a few years to work differently than who I was and how I like to create, but it sucked the life and joy out of me. I much prefer doing it this way. And I’m glad I’ve got someone in my corner who is delighted to facilitate that.
At the moment, I’m going through the diagnostic assessment process to clarify whether I am Asperger’s, have a different neuro divergent diagnosis or not. I think I’m worried that the results are going to come back as: LOLZ NAH SORRY LEONIE YOU ARE ACTUALLY NEURO TYPICAL. YOU’RE A TOTAL NORM! Could you even imagine???
For those playing at home: I went through Unique U Psychology. They specialise in womxn with ASD – as we tend to have our own set of symptoms that differ from blokes. It took about six months or so for me to get an appointment to get it done. Other places I tried had a much longer waiting list – or just weren’t taking new clients at all. Unique U is based in Melbourne, Australia but do telehealth assessments (which is what I did).
The diagnostic process has been useful, but it’s definitely intense in two ways: Firstly, it is currently making me hyperaware of my behaviours and processes and wonder what is just Leonie being Leonie and what is because of a neuro divergence. For example – when I filled out some of the questionnaires, I noted that I seem to have quite a high self esteem and confidence levels, and then started worrying whether I was a bit over the top with it and headed into narcissist territory. So that’s a bit of psychological analysis fun for my week… I think I’ll be relieved to get the results back! Ha!
Secondly, I’ve had to go through this deep dive into my childhood. And despite the fact I’ve pretty much always been a happy soul, being who I am, and doing the things I love… a certain kind of grief and pain came up when I recognised some of the pains in my life. As a kid, I had fuck all social skills. I didn’t have school friends until I was 10 or 11 – I preferred the company of books and animals. I just didn’t understand how humans worked, or how they knew how to talk to each other. I feel like they had a chip installed that I didn’t get. RUH ROH LEONIE MISSED THE SOCIAL SKILLS ROBOT CHIP!
I’ve learned how to do it over the years through careful observation and mimicking, but it comes at an energetic cost. I still inwardly wince when people call me “crazy” or “weird” – it still happens on a regular basis. I know that I’m glorious and magnificent and I don’t want to change who I am. I don’t want to be “normal” – I just wish people didn’t feel the need to remind me that I’m different so often. Besides – “crazy” is ableist language. (Re-reading that list just now, I realise I need to retire my use of “bonkerdoodles” – its basis of “bonkers” is also ableist. Alwayyyyys learning!)
Anyways, I’ll let you know the results once I have my review next week!
It’s a few hours later now. I’m sitting by the river, waiting for school pickup time. It’s one of those salty, hot days that is only improved by perching oneself under a tree by the river.
I am not alone in this endeavour.
Speckles, Bob, Florence & Mo are having a veritable FEAST beside me. They are great company. Ugh, their mate Todd has arrived though. I can’t stand Todd. He’s wearing a MAGA hat under all those feathers.
Hopefully his pigeon mates will win him around to the glory of science and humanity and equality and compassion. We can only hope.
I guess that’s all I really wanted to say today.
Me, some pigeons, some neuro divergence and the aftermath of Leonie’s Decisions Last Night.
I’m glad she did it though.
My head is getting clearer already. My fingers are floating over the keyboard. I can feel my mind unfurling again.
I’m SO glad we’re doing this.
I see you all as a kind of secret pen pal club.
I’m excited for what’s next.
And want to encourage you: whatever your wild fangly ideas are… follow them.
This way, magic lives.
Also: want daily emails with these writings? That would be lovely and luscious! Join the crew here:
All my love,