is that i’ve just sat at my desk
from the time the sun has just risen into the sky
and passed overhead (not that i can see it though, i’m in a concrete tower)
and it is now falling into the mountains
by the time i go home
it will be night time

i’ve sat at my desk and can only observe the cycle of mama earth,
not engage with it or be in it or follow my own natural cycles.
my eyes are not strong eyes… they are red rimmed and cowering behind my glasses from the glow of screens.

i’ve just sat here, staring at my screens, moving bits of text around, without engaging any part of my spirit.
i don’t feel like i’m doing my work in the world.

this is no way to live.

i don’t feel ready to leap yet…
into a natural cycle life of creation and rest with mama gaia and muse
but right now i sit looking out at the fading light
mourning the loss of a day not fully lived
acknowledging the yearning i feel in me.

the time will come.