tender, shaky kind of place

“Compassionate action starts with seeing yourself when you start to make yourself right and when you start to make yourself wrong. At that point you could just contemplate the fact that there is a larger alternative to either of those, a more tender, shaky kind of place where you could live.”
~ Pema Chodron

So I wonder in these days. Do I build, or do I pick away at the foundations?
Do I build on my chimney stack or focus on clearing out the white ants in my spirit?
All these words only hint at larger movements, analogies that do little to shed light on the experiencing of the moment.
How do I say it clearer?
My hands move in three directions at the books I want to read. My belly quakes at new discoveries.

I wonder and yet I know, all at once.
I wonder how I move from here, and yet I know that time, gentle time, will give me all the gifts and lessons I need.

I picked up another person’s phone in the office today, it was ringing out unanswered,
and my friend Deb was on the end of the line. So we talked happily, and she laughed knowingly at my words, and she said at the end:
just be gentle my friend.

So I will be. I am. Just gentleness.
Severity isn’t needed here. I don’t need to be right, I don’t need to be wrong.
Just a fullness in being where I am in the moment.
a more tender, shaky kind of place to live.