Hola gorgeous Goddesses,
So much big, beautiful things inside. How on earth to write them?
I wake up, and watch the sunlight glow golden and white through our window. The puppies leap all over Chris, and I snuggle deep into the covers, giggling. The morning is soft – so very very soft.
It’s the same kind of morning like last weekend, like last month,
but this time, something is different.
Inside me, the gentlest little light stirs.
I am pregnant. We are pregnant. We are on the journey of bringing a new little soul into the world.
It is early days yet – I am only six weeks. I know it’s usual to wait until three months before we tell people. We are so understanding that this could be a “this is going to end with a baby coming out my vag” pregnancy, or a “just stopping in to say hello and see you soon” pregnancy. And it’s really going to be okay if it is either. This is part of a woman’s journey, and a man’s journey, and the journey towards life.
Most importantly to me, and to us, is to share our journey with open hearts and open spirits. I can’t imagine not sharing this whole new amazing part of our story with you. And I’d so love to do my part in filling in the cauldron of women’s stories for a woman who is experiencing her first, tender, shaky steps from being a maiden into a mama. We need more mama stories!
And I need to share this part of my path with you… so I can hear your maiden, mama and grandmama stories, wisdom, love and advice too.
It’s been one week since we found out… and our worlds have burst open like a pomegranate – spilling red lushness, sweet seeds and new life into ours…
Today, there is a tiny little new soul swimming inside me. Her heart is the size of a poppyseed. I keep thinking about her tiny, beating poppyseed heart. In the stillness of the night, I try and get quiet enough to hear it. A tiny little poppyseed heart, beating in my womb.
I feel like a beautiful blue whale being held by the sea.
I look into the eyes of my love, and see a daddy being born there. His wisdom and gentleness, his kindness and his giant heart. This morning, I cried into his shoulder, and asked him how to move with with all this change. And in that usual, calm, knowing way of his, he formed the simplest words. Reminding me that all is well, all is beautiful, and all is loved.
And so it is.
What a big, glorious, transformative, medicine-filled journey it is.
Biggest love, and love, and love.