moon dancer, acrylic on canvas

{written in an email to a dear friend}

on monday (my art days at home) i was feeling the hankering for some paint between my fingers…
so i took three large canvasses out into the backyard…
and i threw dollops of paint on them…
then smeared them ecstatically with my hands (omg it felt so good)…
then i threw them onto the grass paint side down so they got grass and smooshy marks all over them…
and i encouraged charlie dog to jump all over them (his feet make the most interesting marks)…
then when they were kinda dry, i got the hose and put it on jet spray and sprayed them down soooo good.. it was great…
then i had this great urge to lie on them and be one with them… so i did that…

it felt really primal and tantric and earthy… i was lying there panting with paint all over me, sticking slightly to my art, wanting to be so close to those artworks so that we could become…
my heart beating on the canvas… the grass sticking to the paint, the sun streaking down, little bees swanning around.

since painting with children, i have realised again the great joy in just getting messy and coloured and living. doing silly, majestic things with it. that’s all, and that’s everything…

“Paradoxically, we achieve true wholeness only by embracing our fragility and sometimes, our brokenness. Wholeness is a natural radiance of Love, and Love demands that we allow the destruction of our old self for the sake of the new.”
~ Jalaja Bonheim
Aphrodite’s Daughters