Hola gorgeous goddesses,

These are all the things I would love to share… for any pregnacious goddess out there.

These are the things I have learned from my own journey… and sometimes, it’s taken me quite a lot to get there.

* People have opinions.

Those opinions are worth just as much as that person’s opinion on breakfast cereal.

You might try that breakfast cereal and want to eat it forever. You may try it and decide it is 100% categorically not for you. You might be really, really happy with your porridge in the morning and not try it at all.

Just because someone has an opinion on birth, pregnancy or parenting, it doesn’t mean those opinions are gospel or the truth.

Case in point:

Some days, people will tell you that you look HUGE. The next day, someone will tell you you look TINY.

I’ve even had two people standing beside each other, each repeating back and forth “Gosh Leonie, you’re so little for your weeks!” and the other saying “I don’t think so! She looks massive!”

I had weeks where I freaked out that I was having twins because so many people told me I looked like I was having twins.

What I like to say back now is “I am the perfect size for where I am right now.”

People have their own opinions, which is completely fine. But I want you to know that they aren’t the truth, and they aren’t anything to worry about. I know, because I did worry.

* Ultrasounds aren’t always correct.

We have technology – but it doesn’t mean that it is highly advanced. Ultrasounds still can’t totally confirm accurately baby’s weight, gender or age. Please don’t put a whole heap of concern into them.

When I had our only ultrasound at 20 weeks, I was told that baby was due two weeks before her real date {which is kinda impossible – I was on holidays in my homelands away from Chris then.}

I also got told that Little Mermaid was HUGE, and was in the top 98% as far as weight and size goes.

And I started worrying that I would have such a ginormous baby that birth would be difficult.

I found out later that up to half of ultrasound weight estimations are incorrect, and that date estimations are really only that accurate during the first trimester {but not necessarily}. And as far as gender goes – they aren’t able to say whether the gender is definite or not… and we have a few friends who have been told they were having boys and had little girls instead.

And guess what?

Little Mermaid was born 6 pounds 14 – in the 25% for size. I was expecting an 8 to 10 pound baby – going off the ultrasound and the weights off babes in my family. But guess what? Little Mermaid was little.

Definitely not what ze ultrasound prophesied!

* Midwives and doctors don’t know everything.

Educate yourself. Ask lots of questions. Don’t be afraid to say no.

Midwives and doctors work in a particular framework of Western medicine. It means they don’t know much about using natural therapies like herbal medicine or acupuncture. And those things can be immensely supportive for pregnant women.

Case in point:

When I was 34 weeks pregnacious, Little Mermaid turned breech. My midwives didn’t care – they said it was too far out from delivery date for them to worry. I did care. I immediately got acupuncture and used hypnotherapy and a whole bundle of other things to get her back in place again.

Two weeks later, she turned breech again. This time? Midwives flipped out. They wanted to schedule me in for an ECV the next morning – where they put relaxant drugs into my belly, and manually try and push Little Mermaid around. Why they wanted to do me immediately? Because the operating theatre was empty that day, so if the ECV caused stress to Little Mermaid, they could give me an emergency C-section.

Ummmm… what about acupuncture? Or breech tilts? Or trying a whole bundle of other options that didn’t have potentially dangerous side effects to Lil Mermaid before going the one that did?

But ECV and C-section is their only modality when it comes to breech babies.

I just want you to know there are so many other modalities out there that can help. Doulas who have a good understanding of alternative therapies can help you choose what you need when the time is right. Ask other mums, and know that whatever you choose for you is absolutely perfect.

{Postscript: The morning of the ultrasound where the midwives would push for an ECV but I was prepared to say no at, and pursue other options first? Lil Mermaid turned five minutes before the ultrasound – in the waiting room. hee hee! Little Mermaid is so very good at teaching me lessons & medicine!}

* You don’t HAVE to do anything.

Tests for baby. Tests for you. Ultrasounds.

It’s all optional. You can say no at anytime. You can say no when you are in labour.

Whatever doesn’t work for you, you don’t have to do.

Research and see what you really want and need.

For example, Little Mermaid did not have a three month ultrasound. Reason being? The only reason for the ultrasound is to test if she had any abnormalities. And if she did? Then we’d have to decide if we wanted to terminate the pregnancy or continue. Me & Chris’ belief was that we would continue the pregnancy no matter what – that we would receive what Great Spirit had given us, and trust it was perfectly what was needed. Also, there is a whole bundle of research that shows that ultrasounds should be used as sparsely as possible in pregnancy. So that’s what we chose for us.

I also did not take the gestational diabetes test. I read up about it, and read research about how testing for gestational diabetes doesn’t have any real health benefits or outcomes for mum or bub. That, and they have a 50-75% error rate in the test. So if you did test positive? You’d have to do another fasting test in the hospital. It just didn’t seem like the right thing for us. So I walked as much as possible, ate sugar as little as possible, and ate as healthily as I could.

Everything is a choice. You have the power to make decisions about you and your babe the whole way through. Western medicine may not always be the best option – or it might be. It’s up to you, dearest heart. Whatever sings to your spirit!

* You can help your baby with being in the right position.

I truly think this needs to be talked about so so so so so so much more. Especially considering that if you don’t have babe in the right positioning for labour, it can result in either a very painful back labour, or a breech babe resulting in C-section.

So here’s the thing:

The way you sit and move {especially in the last 8-10 weeks of pregnancy} hugely affects babe’s positioning in your womb.

You want babe to be sitting with her head down, back against the skin of your belly, and slightly rotated to your left side.

You want to make this as easy and comfortable as possible for her.

What this means:

All that stuff about laying back with your feet up? Ha! Anytime you are in that position, you are encouraging with gravity babe’s back to come down to your back.

If you are laying down, lay on your left hand side.

If you are sitting, You want knees below hips. Keep your legs uncrossed so there is plenty of space between your hips for babe’s head to come down and rest.

So imagine your belly like a hammock – you want babe tipping forward, resting in that hammock.

Time kneeling with your elbows resting on an ottoman is good. So is time on all fours (who knew? Scrubbing the kitchen floor really IS good for pregnacious women.)

I used this resource a lot – Spinning Babies.

A month before babe was due, we drove four hours to Chris’ hometown for his grandmama’s funeral. I spent that four hours either lying down on my left hand side in the back seat, or sitting in lotus position with a pillow under my butt.

Basically: You are kinda going to be active or somewhat uncomfortable in the last month or two of your pregnancy. I’m sorry darling.

But it will be worth it. It will be good.

You = amazing.

Labour

And the most I want to share about labour?

That it is hard work. And that you can do it.

And that your baby will be born the way it is meant to. We all have our amazing, sacred, precious journeys to walk…

I believe in you.

***

So those are some of the big things I want to tell every pregnacious goddess. That, and I love them, and I believe in them.

What about you precious hearts? Reply in ze comments & let me know what your best tips for pregnacious goddesses are! (Or what you’d really like to know about pregnancy, if you haven’t been there already.)

I adore you!