I’m laughing as I write this.
Six months ago, I announced we were moving to Tasmania. Well… we actually DID move to Tasmania.
And now… we’re moving again.
I know. I know.
I CAN SEE YOUR FACE FROM HERE.
So… why are we moving?
And WHERE are we moving?
… Back to Canberra. The city we left 5 years ago.
The city that was an incredible place of creativity + spirituality + culture + friendship + community for us.
All the places we love are there. (Almost) all the people we love are there. 98% of our friendship circle is either in Canberra or just down the road in Sydney.
We don’t have great, healthy, thriving relationships with either of our families. Not for want of trying. We certainly have given it a rather good go in the last five years to create community + connection with them. It hasn’t worked.
And that’s okay.
It’s been one of the biggest, best lessons in my life: how to have boundaries. How to say no. How to remove negativity, control + untended-to mental illness from my life, and from my daughters’.
I’ve really grown up over the last five years.
Moving to Proserpine made me become a sovereign adult.
We did an immense amount of healing. I suffered from then undertook an immense healing journey to recover from Post Natal Depression. My love + I were in a place of huge suffering in our relationship, and went to a relationship counsellor who changed our lives.
I got to break the spell that said:
I will only ever feel “home” if I am here, living in my family’s pocket. And that means giving up control over my life, my family + my sovereignty.
Moving to Kuranda made me realise exactly what I wanted. And exactly what I didn’t.
I got to live remotely. On an acreage. In a rainforest.
There are many, many, many things I’m grateful for about Kuranda.
The abundance of animal friends. The sweet school. Being surrounded by other hippies. Being supported by an incredible healing acupuncturist/doula + midwife through hyperemesis gravidarum. I don’t know if Beth would have entered our lives if it wasn’t for Kuranda.
It was an adventure.
For many reasons, we left.
We left wiser, happier, more grounded. With memories of what it was to live in the wild.
Moving to Tasmania made me come home to myself + my creativity.
I’m forever grateful that we moved here to Tasmania. It is a beautiful island with an energy that has healed both me + my husband.
Many years ago, my love lived here. He spent 25 years wishing he was back here.
He said sitting here, looking over Mount Wellington each day, has been more healing than words can say. That he could have spent $20 000 on therapy + not received the amount of healing he has just from looking at that mountain he wished for for so very long.
And now, we say yes to Canberra not because things didn’t work out. Not because we’re angry, or we’re running away. Goodness knows we’ve done that in the past. We felt angry about the disaster zone that was my family of origin. We felt like we were running away from the drugs in Kuranda.
Tasmania has in many ways healed the anger, sadness, trauma + pain that we’ve experienced over the last five years.
I keep getting the image of a Sikh temple we once visited in India. As you walk off the street, you take your shoes off. To walk up the stairs into the temple, you have to walk first through streams of water. It cleanses your feet before you can enter the temple.
Tasmania has been that for us. We came here with not just our luggage, but some baggage too. Emotional baggage that has been gently washed away.
We’re saying yes because Canberra holds the siren song of our hearts, and a great wealth of joy + love + support there for us.
Did we make a mistake leaving Canberra in the first place?
Gosh no. No, no, no x a million.
We are a billion times better, smarter, stronger for having gone on our 5 year adventure.
Plus, it’s basically like we’ve been on a working holiday living in some of the most beautiful places of Australia.
We cannot possibly be pissed with that.
We’re returning to Canberra with a better marriage, a family of four, a booming business + a much deeper understanding of ourselves.
So perfect. I have zero regrets.
And a heart full of gratitude for the lessons I’ve learned along the way (some of them learned the very hard way), and the huge amount of blessings we’ve received as a family as well.
We’ve been location independent for 5 years
All thanks to my business, which I am so damn grateful for.
I feel so lucky that me + Mr D have been able to devote ourselves to family time before Ostara started school.
Which is part of the reason we’re moving so quickly now.
Once we realised that Canberra was the right choice, we knew we needed to do it before January next year when Starry will start attending 5 days a week school (WOTTTTT I am going to miss her!!!!) And that because workbook season turns November/December/January into the wildest, busiest season of my workyear, I needed to get there before then.
We made the decision, six days later we bought a house, one month later we’ll be moving in.
What I’m most looking forward to:
I was laughing with a friend about Canberra. About how nobody understands why Canberra is just so intoxicating until you live there. It can get a bad rap for being cold + for being politician-ville. But honestly, the real parts of Canberra are this:
- the most intellectual, liberal, gentle, loving folks I’ve found anywhere
- the best of the best cultural attractions (art galleries + museums out the wazoo)
- all the benefits of a major city with all the benefits of a country town.
For me personally, what I’m most looking forward to is:
- connecting with all my tribe of friends again
- getting reiki massages from my dear soul sister/mentor Deb
- drinking mulled wine at the Old Bus Depot Markets
- being in the same city as one of my mastermind sisters
- traipsing around Hall Markets
- hiking in the mountains
- going to Tidbinbilla + Hanging Rock… my sacred places… that me + Chris spent many, many happy days at…
- introducing my daughters to the land that held me + their papa so beautifully, so gently for so long…
- taking Starry to where she was born
- going to night classes for art + business at Australian National University
And so much, much more.
I share more about my move + my Canberra dreams in this podcast + video if you’d like to watch.
For those who’ve been around long enough…
You probably remember those days of delight in Canberra.
Here’s a quick trip down memory lane of just 0.0001% of the miracles that happened there:
And I also am practicing speaking every part of the story…
Not just the positive, but all my feelings.
And amidst all the excitement + joy + certainty that is in me, I also feel sadness about leaving my beloved ocean to move back to Canberra (a city in the alpine mountains).
A dear Canberran friend wrote me a sweet message though, and reminded me:
Just remember, we were always mermaids in the mountains too.
I also think I need to book more beach holidays, just to stare at Mama Ocean’s loveliness + get my dose when I need.
I feel excited… nervous… grateful… and full.
Never in a million years ago would I have thought five years ago that I was leaving Canberra to do a full circle back around to her. Never.
Me + Chris are Scorpios. Earthy creatures who love stability + stretching our roots down deep. We like certainty + permanency.
And yet this? This last five years of journeying + adventures + five homes in five years?
It was exactly what was needed.
As the Rolling Stones once said:
You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometime you find
You get what you need
I’m heading back to the ‘Berra, my loves. Back to the land of art on fingers + tipis + goddess circles + deep belly laughs. To stone circles + white trees + kindred folk.
Deep breaths… and happy hearts,
YOU MAY ALSO LOVE…