tree at namadgi national park from last weekend’s walk…
for months now, i have skitting around my intention for the busi-ness of creating. perhaps it has been something i have not wanted to look at all my life. i didn’t allow myself the possibility of being an artist or writer after school – i did finance; studied at university doing economics and all manner of things for a while; became a public servant. but this life, this passion, this yearning called creativity followed me. it asked for my attention. it called me.
i stopped studying a year ago because i felt a deep need to leave space in my life for something to grow. i wasn’t sure WHAT wanted to grow, but only that i needed to honour space to grow in my life. and i did, and the seeds that had been nourished in my earth for years blossomed. blossomed more wildly than i had imagined.
i began working part time three months ago, and started reading “the seed handbook.”
i started doing all the exercises in it in my new blue busi-ness book, but came to a screeching halt when i got to the intentions section.
i participated in creative dream teams, and felt great big bounds of movement there. i said outloud: i really need to write to write my intentions for my busi-ness. it seemed like something to big to mount. i wondered what was stopping me.
i know now.
i realised today that the idea of having a creative business came with a degree of guilt or selfishness. i wondered exactly why i should expect to be abundant or rewarded doing something that i loved. i did not know how to resolve my spiritual yearnings with my creative desires to be successful. i couldn’t figure out the economics of how i could illuminate my own life and others and earn a living at it. it seemed selfish to put a price on my gifts that i wished to share. there seemed to be some underlying issue of: WHY should i earn money from this?
the understanding is slowly coming together in glowing moments. the insights come and leave again. i know it will come in the fullness of time. i need not push to understand the great mystery.
i can begin to write my intention today. i can begin to see just how spirituality, creativity and busi-ness can be interwoven authentically.
to be radiant in this world. to make a living at being the very best me i can be. it seems so…. natural. to create a living by LIVING.
more will come later… more insight, a fuller insight into just how inherently important it is for each and every soul to do what they love, and share their light with the world.
for now, i set my intentions, watch and muse.
i write letters in the candlelight. wrap my fingers around the arms of the man i love, and see how his sky eyes look into me. curl into bed with a book. let the rainbows pour from my fingers. go to bed feeling like a vessel that has fulfilled its daily potential, and is now empty, ready to be replenised by deep sleep and lyrical dreams.
and tomorrow, a goddess arrives. a blissful weekend saunters ahead, filled with sweet laughter, delicious vegetarian food, deep connecting, creation sharing…