Darling hearts,

I wanted to share with you a new journey I’m exploring… I’m on a kind of low-screen sabbatical.

Want to listen to this as a podcast?

Listen above, or subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, PocketCast (or wherever else you listen to podcasts!)

For a wee while now, I’ve been feeling a bit unmotivated & uninspired. This is pretty unusual for my usual mode of WEE LETS GOOOOOOOOOO. I’m not sure if it’s due to it being an intense year with lots of personal things happening behind the scenes (i.e. a cancer diagnosis in my family, death and trauma, other family dramas, ADHD diagnosis, my kid’s high school closing plus buying, selling and moving homes). I’m not sure if it’s my energy and hormones shifting now I’m turning 40 in the next couple of months. I’m not sure if it’s a combination of all the things, or nothing at all.

Whatever it is, I felt a bit untethered, unsure of what my purpose is, waiting on my next divine assignment from the angels. A couple of months ago, I had an idea from the Waiting To Fall Asleep Gods. They told me to try a 21 day experiment of pulling back from screens. After quitting social media last year, I knew how healing these kinds of challenges can be. But then I couldn’t work out how I could possibly make that work. It seemed too hard. I mean… I run an online business! I talk to my closest mates online! It seemed impossible, so I ignored that intuitive nudge.

I also kept on getting the message that I needed to slow down, do less, savour more. But you know, YOLO, so I ignored the shit out of that too! And I got a vision I should experience daily calls to prayer, to remind myself that life was more than the superficial and irritating. Also somewhat difficult to consider implementing, so I kept ignoring it. Hilarious right?

I’ve been asking my angels for what the right thing to do was, and every time they gave me a clear answer, I’d be like “Nah, too hard, would rather suffer listlessly thanks my dudes.” I mean… MY AUDACITY!

And then, as it often is, the decision was made for me. My body is a wonderful barometer. It’s sensitive and delicate and regularly shits itself if I’m not doing the right thing. It’s equal parts miraculous, hilarious and frustrating.

This time, my eyes decided to borg themselves. They became enormously painful. It felt like constant eye strain, one that wasn’t solved by rest, my usual eye drops or getting new glasses. I kept on suffering through it before getting even more eye tests. It turns out, my eyelids have stopped producing oil to lubricate my eyes. Combined with the fact my eyelids have decided to not close properly when I’m sleeping because I’m some kind of freak middle aged zombie, and these baby blues of mine are dryer than a dead dingo’s donger.

And… it’s not something I can just instantly fix. It requires a long term treatment plan. Want to know the treatment plan? (You will laugh. Of course you will.) Basically, the treatment plan is to follow the angel’s advice.

• I need to reduce my screen time. Go on a partial screen sabbatical. No ifs, buts or maybes. I’m forced to work out HOW to make it work because my eyes are on strike.
• I need to do 2 x calls to prayer a day. I kid you not. I need to lay down and use a hot compress over my eyes for 10 minutes, twice a day. Then I have to gently squeeze my eyelids to release the oils (the angels didn’t request the eyelid squeezing, but they are chuffed about the enforced meditation time!) I use the time to listen to Buddhist lectures, and it’s been so restorative.
• I need to go slower. Do less. Savour more. I’m hyperlexic (of course I am… I have Autism! 84% of peeps with ASD are hyperlexic!) I read an average of 200 books a year. But now I need to cut way back. Currently, I can only read larger print paperbacks. And instead of chewing through half a dozen books in a weekend, I have to… savour one for weeks on end. And as much as it chafes at my rabbity reader self, I’m sure this is exactly what must happen. I can’t argue with reality.

There’s some other things I need to do that the angels didn’t require for my soul realignment… just these dehydrated dingo donger eyeballs of mine.

• I need to change my daily eye drops to ones with omega 3 
• I need to change my evening eye drops to an OINTMENT instead. A fecking OINTMENT. My husband says you know you’re middle aged when you start getting prescribed OINTMENTS. Also, no, I cannot possibly type OINTMENT in lowercase.
• I’m increasing my omega 3 supplements.
• I rock this sexy eye compress for my calls to prayer.
• And I now look like an Olympic swimmer when I’m asleep thanks to these equally sexy eye masks.

Here, I made you this to illustrate:

You. Are. Welcome.

How I’m Organising My Business & Life Differently:

I resisted doing a sabbatical from screens because I couldn’t work out how I would run my life & business. I thought I’d share some news on how that’s working.

I do want to be clear: I can still use screens, I just need to severely limit my time on them.

I also didn’t feel like I should take more time off work. I’ve taken a lot of time off work in recent years – last year it was 4 months or so. I also don’t know if this eye condition is something that can be resolved quickly (likely not), and will just need to be managed on an ongoing basis. I felt like I needed instead to find a more sustainable way of working, in a way that nurtures my creativity, soul and eyes.

I’ve deleted Messenger off… everything. It was my primary communication method with both friends & my two assistants. It was also something which I could easily spend hours on each day. I was very worried about doing this, especially with my assistants and my closest friends.

I explained to them what I was doing, and why, and had their full support to try out different communication methods that work with my new limitations. On the work front, I am now just creating Asana tasks and sending brief emails to explain things. With friends, I voicemail, write letters or even write letters to scan and email. If it’s something urgent on either front, I text, but I don’t do a lot of back-and-forward.

I’m typing this blog on my laptop. To manage it, I have stopped part way through for a hot compress treatment/Buddhist teaching. I have to practice regular “hard blinks” to squeeze oil out of my eyelids. And I’m intermittently closing my eyes for short bouts of eye rest while touch typing (excuse any typos!)

How it has affected me personally

I’ve been spending a lot of time with my eyes closed… wondering and dreaming what is next. What I’d like to create when my eyes are open. How I can be even more nourishing to myself, my creativity and my business.

It’s been enormously powerful.

I’ve realised that if I document via constant messaging all the details on my life, I miss the opportunity to write and reflect on the big stuff.

From a spiritual level, I realised I’ve been overly fixating on the waves of life instead of being the ocean. Thinking too much about the irritating minutiae instead of gazing out at the wide expanse of life.

And most of all, it’s reminding me I need to re-establish my own best friendship with myself. To lean into the connection I have with myself. Listen to my own inner voice, delight in all that makes me me.

It’s been over a month since I was enforced into this kind of screen sabbatical. And within a very short period of time, I suddenly heard from my angels and guides. They’d been trying to get me to pay attention for so very long. Asking me to get quiet enough just to hear them and follow direction. They asked me to open the Brilliant Biz & Life Academy (again).

It was a surprise to me too – after running it for 9 years from 2010 – 2019, I thought that part of my journey was complete. Turns out, the last three years were just a sabbatical. And so I return, and it’s a joyous homecoming. For me and the nearly 1,000 gorgeous humans who’ve already joined. What a treat it is to follow these wild assignments and discover it resonates with others so strongly too.

I’m so grateful to my eyes.

For making sure I did what was needed. For forcing me to listen. For showing me the path ahead.

These baby blues aren’t healed… they will now always need my tender loving care and attention. But I’m grateful for the opportunity to do it. And to continue mining the dark behind my eyelids to see what jewels I find there.

It’s been such a miraculous blessing… disguised as dead dingo donger eyeballs.

Thank you for sharing this wonky, wild, wonderful journey with me.

Love always,