Hola gorgeous Goddesses,
It’s that time again – Goddess Journey Check-in! The day I get to share about my blessings and challenges, and you get to share about yours too (if you’re called).
It’s the day we get to cosy up on a big purple couch with large mugs of tea, and connect-in and share about our journeys this week. It’s a little bit like coming home – to ourselves, and to each other. As always, you can share if you’re called in the Comments Circle.
I’m always glad when it’s a Goddess Journey check-in day. It’s like a little exhale of “aaaahhhhhh” and then a contented little sigh. Of course, that might be just me, but I likes it. ￼
The Challenges. Aaaaah. This week, there’s been a few.
Stuffity Bluckity Homesickity Grosskiness
Over the last week (fine, the last three – since I came back to Canberra after a miracle time away, I’ve been grouchy. And grumpitty. And complaining about Canberra’s cold, icy winter. (Why the heck am I here again? When I could be in tropical paradise? Sipping mango frappes while watching the sunset? In the country? With no annoying neighbours? With family around?) Oh yes. I’ve been quite the joyful, grateful bean lately (*cough* *not*).
And then I worked it out: I’ve been really damn homesick. The biggest, most heartfelt homesickness I’ve ever had.
And it sucked.
Well, not really, but it’s fun to be dramatic. *hee hee*
It’s really only just the beginning.
It’s taken time and crankiness and allowing and a healing session with Hiro to start feeling more okay about living here instead of there.
It’s been rough. Ruff.
This Other Thing
There’s something I’m still not quite able to talk about, but I’m grieving a very dear, old and sweet friend of mine.
His name is Rebel.
He was my horsey-soulmate, and my dearest friend.
And when I went home, I found out he went missing in the rains, and hasn’t been found in the long grasses yet.
I knew he was gone – just from a spirit level, I couldn’t feel him around anymore. He feels more starry now.
And I haven’t told any of my friends yet. If I do, it will make it real – that my very best friend is gone.
And yeah, he was “just a horse” – but he was my friend for so many years, especially the years I needed it most. He knew all my secrets – I would whisper them in his ear as we rode along on our own. He was my guardian angel, and my protector. He took care of me with his gentleness, and his huge love. He’d do everything he could to take care of me on his back – when dogs attacked, when snakes were around, when we’d swim in rivers, he’d do whatever he could to make sure I was okay.
But more than all of this – Rebel got me. He understood me. He loved me. When I didn’t feel understood by anyone else on the planet, he did. When I was in primary school and was so completely introverted that I didn’t have a friend, he was it. When I was in high school and so hurt by all the bullying and bullshit I got, Rebel loved me. He has always been my place of comfort. He was an angel for me. He was my horsey-soulmate.
That’s how much he meant to me.
I absolutely, unequivocally would not be the Leonie I am if there was no Rebel.
And for that, I’m so, utterly grateful.
And for that, I’m really grieving my darling boy.
And yeah, I get that this will pass. That one day I’ll just feel all the love he’s still got for me in the spirit world. But right now? It suckity sucks that I don’t get to smell him again, and feel his chestnut fur against my hand again.
I really, really miss you Rebel.
(I guess I was ready to talk about him. But please no one ask me on the phone about him unless you want a very gluggy, snotty-tissued response.)
Gluten Free Transition Barfitiness
A week and a half ago, I stopped eating wheat and gluten. It’s been something that’s been brewing for me for a while now. I’ve been getting stomach pains, and bloatedness, and in meditations connecting in with my body, I’d see where wheat and gluten was getting stuck around my system, including around my ovaries, hip and stomach. I knew it was something I needed to let go of.
And then I had a big chat with a friend, and I realised I just couldn’t ignore it anymore.
So I stopped eating wheat.
And the good parts? I *know* this is the right thing for my body. Things are starting to shift and cleanse already. I’m feeling healthier and clearer. Those gluggy bits on my body are starting to lift. And the stomach pains have stopped. Hooray!
In the meantime though, I’ve got a case of Transition-Stuckness-pissed-offness. I think that’s the scientific name for it anyway. I’m worried about getting hungry, I’m annoyed that I can’t eat bread, and I get panicked when I’m out whether I can eat anything or not.
I’m still working it out. There are some lights at the end of the tunnel: Feeling better! Lara Bars! Deek’s Bakery & Cafe! Recipes from gluten-free friends!
In the meantime: transition stages are painful. It’s like birthing out a whole new life.
Which brings me to…
Ooooh! Blessings! There are always, always ginormous blessings!
Aunty! Aunty! I’m an Aunty again!
Speaking of transition times, and birthing out a whole new life: There couldn’t be any better blessing this week, than the birth of my beautiful new niece, Paige Rhianna.
You might remember Paige from such past blog posts as “The Beauty of Away: In My Mommy’s Belly Edition.”
I’m so over the moon – as is my whole family. I’m so incredibly proud of my beautiful brother and amazing sister-in-law for bringing such a gorgeous new soul into the world.
I’m an aunty again: weeeeeeeeeee! It just gets better and better as our family grows bigger: we know just what joy, gladness, depth and love to expect as we get richer from each new sweet soul.
And here’s our beautiful rosy-cheeked, lushly-locked, three day old Paige Rhianna (Allans don’t give birth to kids that look like newborns… fully formed goddesses all the way!)
On cue now everybody: 1…. 2….. 3……
Warm lavishings of “oh my goodness, she is so beyoooootiful” gratefully received.
It’s a baby! A baby!
(In addition: There’s nothing like the amazing experience of new life to help you feel a fair bit better about having to grieve and let go of old life and things.)
Hottie On Holidays
My sweetie is taking some Self-Nurturing holidays for a couple of weeks. And can I just say, there is nothing I adore more than having him home on weekdays?
I have ginormous-world-commanding plans to eventually hire him just to stay at home and be a Goddess’ right hand man.
He does things like:
* Take me on tours of second hand bookstores
* Make big, roasted lunches everyday
* Babysit the doggies while I’m on coaching calls
* Spend an inordinate amount of time caretaking and nourishing our puppies (and me). That man may just be the God of Nurturing.
* Makes me have lunchtime talks about my business, life, how I’m going with it, and how I can have more balance and happy-time doing it.
Yup. I adore having him at home. Best evaaaaaaa!
Goddess Website With 15% More Goddess
I’ve had a few changes I’ve wanted to make for a while on the goddess site of all sites. And now they are done. Like WEEEEEE!
Thanks to my lovely webby-helper-mouse, we have new pages! That are lovelier, cleaner, and kinder on the Goddess eyes than ever before. Check out this one as an example. The sidebar to your right is finally starting to look happier too.
And what that means: A happier website that *fits* better makes me a happy bunny.
I really adore having a delicious space for ya’ll to visit. (Is it wrong that I come here sometimes just to stare at it and feel all turquoisey for a while? If that is wrong, I don’t want to be right.)
Passing the Talking Stick
Hoorah! We made it!
If you’d like to share about your week, your journey, your blessings or challenges… I’m passing on the talking spirit. Share away in the Comments Circle, possum. You are so gently held.
This calls for…
I’m so glad you are here, sweetpea.