How to celebrate Australia Day

Lanyon in winter, 2002. Taken with super crappy $80 digital camera. 🙂

I don’t often write silly/humorous posts…

but Bus Friends and I (forthwith called Team 85) compiled a list yesterday on the bus ride home (where else?) on how to celebrate Australia Day.

1. Get in touch with my “Inner Slack.”

2. Drink beer before 10am.

3. BBQ and burn to a crisper some snags, then possibly consume a few beers. Perhaps incorporate the two.

4. “Drink beer, watch sport on TV and hurl abuse @ minority groups.”

5. Throw beer cans, after consumption of, at TV when Prime Minister makes his National Address.

6. Two fashion words people: Flanellette and Uggs.

7. Behave in otherwise slovenly manner.

8. Scratch and wrangle private parts in public.

9. Say everyone and everything is “UnAustralian”

10. Learn second verse in national anthem. Or google for the words of the rather unpopular and now defunct third verse.

11. Extract last half of your name and add “zza” to make it more Australian. Eg: I shall henceforth be called Lozza.

12. When asked how she would be celebrating Aus Day, one unnamed female bus friend send “Masturbate, after doing some chores. You need to reward yourself somehow. Then of course I’ll need to wash the sheets. It’s always important to self love before you can love another.”

13. Start an insect rehabilitation centre, like Paris. Have a five legged spider named Ralph and a cricket named Some Other Name.

14. Strut around nude.

15. Then strut around nude some more.. in front of the neighbours.