a goddess warrior dances
My dear friend Sone sent me a picture today that lit so many sparks inside me a fire burned. A picture of a Native American woman, with a brave eagle and a buffalo (both my totem animals). An image of the four directions embellished it, with the words:
“Even in thought, Respect women”
I wrote to Sone this…
“i love this poster, and i love the thought and energy behind it.
it feels like it supports me spiritually, and is a dear sign for me.
we had womens circle on sunday which was beautiful.
that night i had a nightmare that one of the women from circle was being stalked by an ex who didn’t like at all that she was being empowered by a womens circle.
anyways, i was trying to protect her, and he pinned me down in the dark – not doing anything, just this enormous weight on me, and he was pinching me.
i felt myself having an anxiety attack in my dream, and i realised i needed to start breathing and take a step outside myself. the change was instant in me. i stepped back into my soul, and felt deep peace and calm. i thought through my options of how i could deal with this situation. i decided to call upon archangel michael to assist me in creating a bubble around me to keep me safe, and then work with me to cut all etheric and energetic chords between me and this guy. so i did that, and i felt the weight grow lighter, and i began awakening.
i have suffered from nightmares for as long as i can remember, but i am finding i am no longer suffering. my dreams are becoming infused with consciousness and choices. again and again i can learn the art of being a powerful leonie.
i lay awake for a long time afterwards in the darkness remembering what it was like for women to be persecuted by men who were afraid of their power. circles of women being persecuted. witches being persecuted. healers being persecuted. women souls persecuted by women-fearing men who became hunters.
i wondered to myself:
who would i have been? would i have been one to submit, to hide, to not continue on with my traditions for fear of persecution? or would i have been one to stand tall and speak my truth even as fire rained down?
the answer to these questions is yes – to both. i feel both the fear and the knowing of what it is to do both.
and now i live a new life, where i wonder who i can become this life. in my life it seems the only persecution to my spirituality was my own: when i could not ask for what i wanted. and now i am a student of this, and i grow through the lesson. i wonder how i can be a tool in this world, a guide and a gift to assist other women feel safe to do their spirit work. i wonder how to grab their hands and help them remember their own sacred dance. i wonder how i can be a healer and a compassionate guide for men who are so disattached from their own power they wish to claim it from women. how can i be a conduit for this earths evolution into a joyous balance of yin and yang?
shakti gawain says: when women step into their power, it allows men to step into their hearts.
may we no longer feel that fear… that fear i felt so keenly…
it was not so long ago this happened, but the light is returning to the earth once more.
These are my gifts and my lessons today.
These are how dreams and images come in to my life to awake me and help me re-member a sleeping knowing.
“When sleeping women wake, mountains move.”
– Chinese Proverb
(I want to sing out my gratitude and blessings today to an amazing Yang man: Steve Irwin, and send love and peace to his family. A remarkable earth angel for the animal kingdom, a vivacious and colourful man who wore his great big heart on his sleeve. My favourite memory is his documentary on chimpanzees in Borneo – he was sitting in a tree near one, and it climbed up to him, kissed him, and showed him her baby. He almost cried, and proclaimed in his usual booming joyous voice that it was the best day of his life. You know he meant it. He was infectious with his energy, and his inner child was so apparent. He reminded us how to be delighted by the animal kingdom again. I thank you Steve for shining your light so bright. The world has been touched by you. I have been touched by you.)