in the gym, the stretching of limbs i put my headphones in to drown out the doof-doof music and instead resonate with the empowering words from abraham hicks. i find that when i engage my body in exercise my spirit becomes more sensitive to taking things in ~ and today i choose to fill it with hope and consciousness.
of stretching my body at body balance last night breathing into my body and releasing the moves becoming easier i smile as body and spirit find joy together
of falling into water floating upon it releasing thoughts like rainbow strings from my mind my skin the water’s skin the air where do they end, and the other begin? bobbing and becoming one.
i return home and He tells me the same how he meditated upon the couch and there was no difference between Inside his body and Outside.
we sit and laugh in the sun, picking flecks of fruit salad from the bowl feeling blessed blessed blessed.
I am dreaming of a new way of being. I want to step into full living, spending these sacred moments deeply. I bloom into myself like the flowers and the trees do. I wish to live in my core, knowing the spirit that is myself. This human body has a soul and she longs to melt into the sunshine and dance into the wind. I am discovering how to be. I am aching to learn how to inhabit a new life.
do you ever have that? when something makes you feel like something else? we were in the park at lunch today, and my love tells me he’s thinking he might want a playstation… and i burst into tears. i sobbed and sobbed about missing the earth, not feeling balanced, feeling like i’d lived hundreds of lifetimes sleeping on the earth then waking up to find i’m in civilisation and working in a concrete tower, and crying with grief of how much i missed uluru and the desert. how i missed who i was out there. how i missed walking on this earth in conscious knowing i am walking my journey, both with my legs and my spirit. it wasn’t about the playstation. it was about this well of water that burst within me, calling to the heavens and falling to the earth. he softly brushed my hair with his palm, and reminded me that my words are powerful “when you say you feel disconnected from the earth, be careful. you might end up on mars.” and i realised, with his words, the energy that was soaking through my legs as we walked along on the path. that my feelings of disconnection were only an illusion of sorts. the earth was still there, waiting for me to love her. and i was still here, waiting for me to forgive myself.
there are things changing and swilling in me, and i am deeply, deeply grateful for them i know this change is necessary, and yet i feel like a snake shedding its skin. it mustn’t always feel pleasant to do that. skin too tight, claustrophobia, aching to be new, raw in the new world.
it is true. and it is divine. and it is exactly where i am at.