And if we just sit ourselves down and have a little CHAT and say, “It’s time to make a decision, goddess!” we can work through it.
And sometimes we are more deeply stuck.
Sometimes we are banging our heads against the kind of stuck that we can’t even articulate. We can’t give it a name or figure out what the decision we need to make even IS.
That is a deep, spiritual stuck.
I looooooove this quote:
Stuck can be a lot of things. It can be coming against a wall of your own fear, where frustrations and self criticisms surface. I have been stuck many times. I have felt vulnerable and afraid and uncertain. I didn’t know how to face Athena, goddess of courage. I didn’t even know how to ask for what I wanted!
But every time, I have been able to come unstuck, and in doing that, I have found that it has broken my heart open to the world.
1. I get honest about my stuckness.
And being honest about it helps me get unstuck.
You have to be honest about it with yourself, yuppers, but many times that means being honest with someone else. OUT LOUD.
Sometimes I would go to my women’s circle or my mastermind and say: I’m stuck. I don’t know how to do this. I’m afraid.
And every time EVERY DAMN TIME those wise women would say exactly what I needed to hear.
You don’t need to learn it in two weeks, Leonie.
Speak your truth
I believe in you.
That’s why I’m such a freaking advocate for developing these kinds of relationships. You DO have to spend time and energy in creating it for yourself. But the rewards of becoming an integral member of a mastermind or women’s circle is HUGE. Profoundly wonderous for you, your life, your spirit and your business.
If you haven’t found that kind of tribe yet, or if you have but don’t know how to maximise results from it, there’s a whole section in the upcoming Double Your Biz program devoted to it.
I’m such a devotee of those kind of powerful circles, and I really want to help you and women everywhere realise how much power, joy and love there is in creating and maintaing spaces like that.
So yus, tell someone else when you’re stuck. Shining light on it starts scaring the fear monster away.
2. Make a plan.
Once you’ve come out with it and let it all out into the world, it’s time to do something about it.
Don’t just get bloody stuck in the circuit of feeling stuck.
Because, while I am all for tapping and affirmations and positive visualizations and meditation and yoga and so on, I am also even more for getting shit done.
Once you have figured out and acknowledged that you are stuck, you’ve gotsa make a plan and take a step to get UNstuck, pandas. Because guess what? Sitting around feeling stuck sucks balls. It’s unfun. It’s unexciting. Inertia breeds more inertia. Whereas movement creates more movement. Dreams come true when you get outta Stucksville. It’s a shitty town and nobody wants to live there. Don’t buy a house there. Just rent a hotel room for the night and then make a plan to get the frick out.
(I say that with love. Of course. Ha!)
3. Pick ONE THING you can do right now, today, in the next hour, that might move you out of stucksville.
Notice I said MIGHT – you don’t have to be sure! You don’t have to know 100 percent that this thing will work. You just have to bloody do it. Movement breeds movement. Movement makes miracles happen.
Here’s some ideas of shit to do to get you unstuck:
Do that one thing that you have been putting off.
Have you heard the phrase, “Do the thing you want to do the least, FIRST”? It’s pretty true, and mighty empowering. Because if you can get the icky stuff out of the way up top, you’ll have way more space for the good stuff. Once you get it outta the way, you’ll free up way more energy and get excited to make more stuff happen. Brian Tracy (productivity guru + delish voice bearer) calls it eating the frog. Watch a video about eating ze frog here.
Whenever I’m feeling tetchy and stuck, I look around me and there’s usually some clutter hanging around that’s harshin’ on my mellow. Ha!
My desk is a big one. If it starts looking less like a flat meadow and more like mountainous terrain, I need to level it.
Cleaning something out, getting rid of something that’s not serving you, making space for something new.
And cleansing with sage/crystals + the usual hippy dippy methods work wonders for me too. (If you’re one of my Academy members: Use the Sacred Space Clearing Kit or Goddess Haven e-course)
Go for a walk.
When I interviewed one of my creative heroes Julia Cameron, she said something that stuck with me. She said whenever she’s feeling stuck, she goes for a walk. That when she moves a muscle, she moves her mood. And it’s bloody true. Just try starting off for a walk feeling pissy. After just five minutes you’ll return in a different headspace where you were before.
This is also a good hint for mamas out there. When my lil mermaids are having a freaking horror of a witching hour at 5pm, I pop them in the double stroller/Ergo, and we hoik it up the hill to go say hello to the horse down the road. Starry yabbers the whole way, Beth stares at the sky, and I take big ole gulping lungfuls of air. And things are always better by the time we turn onto our gravel road again.
Journal or goals time.
It’s never the wrong time to make a goal! If you used our Create Your Amazing Life Workbook back in January, pull it out! Look at what you wrote. Tear it up and do it again if things have changed. Start fresh. Blank sheet of paper and your favorite colors. Get out your favourite journal. Let it all pour out. Things will change.
Get some education into ya.
If you don’t know where to start with getting unstuck, then I suggest education. Learning from someone who has done what you want to do gives you a whole new perspective. It literally rewires your brain. Education FOREVA!!! (Like right now, I’m doing a graphic design program, a self help course and revisiting a business program. Learning is everything!) Of COURSE, I think the Academy is a pretty rad place to start coz I pour so much into it, but only you can decide what you need. And DO NOT just buy a program and say you’ll do it; schedule time for education into your life and make it happen, whether it’s reading a book from the library, or doing an ecourse, or signing up for something at your local uni.
Try something. I can guarantee you will feel better simply for having moved.
4. Know your limits (and get some support).
Now, all that sounds la la la lovely in a perfect world.
But we don’t live in a perfect world, love bugs.
We live in a world of depression and anxiety and hyperemesis gravidarum, and downsizing, and breaking up, and endings, and stress, and all SORTS of things that can throw us for a loop.
These are NOT your fault. They are NOT the universe punishing you or any of that kind of shit.
But they ARE real, they are important, they are notices from the universe that you’d better slow the fuck down and take a look at what’s really going on in your life.
And they are almost always a time when you need to reach out and get some support.
You’ve got to be honest about the support you need.
I think sometimes we believe we’re supposed to be able to do it all. We’re supposed to heal ourselves and be perfect at this thing or that thing, and never get angry, and never need help, and –
BULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLSHIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!! (I’m saying that in a loud, sing-song voice.)
All those shoulds are SO not true. They are misconceptions. And they can cause such pain when we believe in them.
You are who you are. You need what you need. You must ask for the help you want.
My hunky hubby and I have a pretty amazing relationship, and a big huge ginormous part of that is being able to say to each other, “Hey! You’re acting a little bonkers! Do you need some help?”
But if you don’t have someone in your life that knows your particular brand of crazy well enough to call you out on it, you’re going to need to say to them:
I need some help.
Such big, scary, amazing words.
Maybe you need some help with childcare, or housework, or work-work. Maybe you need someone to talk to like a coach or a therapist or just a BFF. Maybe you need some medication to make all those chemicals in your brain function the way they were meant to. Maybe you need a massage or some acupuncture or whatever woo woo works for you.
Whatever you need, I’m here to tell you right now: it’s OK! It’s OK.
It’s so very normal and human to not be able to do EVERYTHING all on your own.
It’s 100% okay and totally wonderful to accept and invite support into your life.
Because here is the secret, lovebugs:
When you do the things you need to do to get unstuck, the whole world will break wide open for you.
You will see that you had the courage you needed all along.
You will realize that you were able to be honest, even when you were afraid of speaking your truth.
You will see that the THING you thought was insurmountable, was totally doable.
You are amazing.
Don’t sell yourself short by allowing yourself to stay stuck.
Another day, another free printable poster + desktop wallpaper for ya!
I remember the moment I saw this quote by Martin Luther King.
It was a month or so ago, when on a wild whiff of sudden spontaneity one night, hunky love and I decided to go on a road trip the next day. Just to drive and keep driving.
We never do things like that. Never ever. I’m married to a planner. A man who loves to know everything in advance. Who thrives on routine and homelife. Any trips we go on are planned to the enth degree.
But we had cobwebs in our systems. Accumulated dust and ache from nine months of being housebound and bedbound while I rocked back and forth trying to keep enough water and food in my system for me and baby to survive. Hyperemesis gravidarum is one debilitating asshole of an illness to have. One that affects everyone. My eldest daughter had gone without a mum for nine months. My husband became a full time carer for me and a single dad. It was crushing and grey and sad and hard all at once. We took everything a day at a time. Just get through one more day. Just hold on enough for our second daughter to come into the world.
And she did come. I vomited right up until a few minutes before she was born. Our little midnight baby with dawn blue eyes and sunset hair. And she is soft and gentle and sweet and light. She is calm and healing and thank yous and endless prayers of gratitude. I gaze at her and say thank you. Thank you to her for choosing me. Thank you for my husband for giving her to me and holding me so strong through that pregnancy. Thank you to Ostara for calling her soul sister in. Thank you to all the ones who supported my health + spirit to get me through – Hiro, my acupuncturist Kellie and my sweet tribe of friends who listened to me moan endlessly. And thank you to you all – for your love and prayers and kindness. It meant so very much to me.
And after that intense period, me and my little midnight baby and my bright light four year old and my dear river stone of a husband… we needed some air in our gills. We needed to see new land and let the sun burn off the dross. And we did. We gulped lungfuls of air. Dug our feet in the sand. Followed the curve of the Queensland coast from top to bottom. It was good. Beyond good. Just the medicine we needed.
And then back up the coast, on the last eve of our mammoth two week trip, we were staying in a sweet little apartment in a tiny, quiet country town. Beth and Chris were having afternoon snoozes, sprawled out in bed, catching up on the doze-inducing days spent in the car. Ostara was fanging on those little packets of hotel biscuits. And I was reading Dumbo Feather magazine about world changers.
And that’s when I came across this Martin Luther King quote.
It drew the air out of my lungs. It may me whisper out loud:
I have decided to stick to love… hate is a burden to great to bear.
It always comes back to this, doesn’t it?
The stuff that really matters. The thing that makes the world spin. The inutterable life force.
It’s always going to win. Always, always, always.
Years ago, I told a friend that I didn’t believe in hate.
That it was just people being confused and searching for love in the wrong direction.
And I think younger me was right.
For all the pain and dark and the awful, tenuous, messy act of being human…
But if you don’t have a biz yet, you might be feeling a bit left out. Maybe you’ve got a glimmer, a hope, a dream, but you’re not there yet. You’ve got nothing to double!
Well don’t fret darling hearts! I haven’t forgotten you!
We’ve had the Business Goddess ecourse available in the Academy for some time now, and it’s the perrrrrrrfect place to start if you’re just starting out with your biz—or even just nurturing the first spark of an idea. And if you’re in that space right now, I want you to know that I’m with you, and I have three simple steps you must know about as you jump on this wild donkey journey!
3 Simple But Essential Steps To Starting A Biz You Love
First, you must get started. Oh, sounds so damn simple I know… but it’s where SO many peeps get tripped up! This is where your fear, your resistance, your inner demons, your nasty critical voice are all going to leap outta the murky forests of your subconscious mind and jump ya. They’ll tell you that you’re not good enough, that it’s not the right time, that you’re not cut out for business.
You’re going to have a thousand and one reasons why you can’t or you shouldn’t or you mustn’t do this thing that’s calling you. How do you overcome them?
You’re going to feel afraid and sick. You might cry. You might wonder if you’re cut out to be an entrepreneur.
You’re not going to know how to do this thing or that thing that you need to do. You won’t know where the money is coming from to make it happen. You won’t know how to get clients or send an invoice, or create a website.
And if you’ve already started, start again.
Starting is a mindset. It’s a spiritual place. Every year, every month, every season, every week, every DAY we get the chance to start again. Every single breath we take is a new beginning. Starting is a gift.
Every time I have reached a milestone or a goal, I’ve realized that it’s not the finish line at all: it’s the starting line for something totally new.
Every time you reach a new level, whether it’s launching your website, getting your first client, getting your 100th client, hitting six figures, hitting seven figures—there will be something new to learn, something more to know.
So just start.
The best companion you can have is education, resources you can turn to that will help you take those first steps. That’s why I built the Academy: so you could have access to all my best knowledge in one single place.
The monsters lose their power when you courageously move forward. Inertia breeds inertia. Momentum breeds momentum.
Be the kind of goddess that starts and moves and just damn well DOES it!
2. Be Ridonkulously Useful
It doesn’t matter what you do – whether you’re selling sweet sparkly star-encrusted sweaters for kittens or power tools or life coaching or yoga – you MUST be useful.
Your business must be useful in everything you do.
Your products must be useful, yes. (And yes! Luxury is useful! Beauty is useful! Entertainment is useful! Soul warming is useful!) But I truly believe in being useful at every single point of contact with your customers and potential customers.
Is your website useful?
Is your blog useful?
Is your newsletter useful?
Are your Facebook updates, tweets, Instagram photos useful in some way?
Am I giving my all? Am I doing my best? Am I keeping my customers in mind with everything I do?
Are you being a leader of your community? Big or small, local or global, are you taking care to nurture that community you’re building?
Are you giving them what they need? Are you giving them what they want? (Or are you giving them what you THINK they need and want, instead?)
The interwebs are getting noisy, ducklings. There is a lot of noise and static and FLUFF out there with very little meaning behind it. Are you going to chase after that craziness with cat memes and mustaches and bacon, or are you going to be the calm in the storm?
I am not saying be boring. EVERYBODY KNOWS, I don’t do boring! I do colorful and goddesses and rainbows and unicorns and SWEARING and TMI and beaches and rainforests and joy.
I don’t do boring.
But I don’t do meaningless, either.
I do fun. I do entertaining. I do beauty and light and love in whatever way I can. I do useful in the way I know that you want me to be useful. It’s my soul’s purpose, and I reaalllllly encourage you to find and do yours.
3. Keep Going
What do you do after you start? You keep going!
How do you double your biz? Keep going!
(P.S. In case you were wondering: You can’t double something that you STOP DOING!!!)
Oh, and that fear? That resistance you felt when you were starting?
It doesn’t go away. SORRY! I still feel it. I notice it when I’m on the edge of something new, and I LOVE it because it tells me to wake up! Something’s happening. Pay attention. It’s SUCH a beautiful opportunity to heal the next layer for me. Entrepreneurship is such a powerful spiritual journey, a place where ya gotta face all your shit and really do self development on a big scale.
So yeah… the fear doesn’t go away. It gets easier though. When you face your monsters once, it’s not as scary the second, eighth or twentieth time around.
It’s like “Oh hey! You again! What do you have to teach me this time? Coz you know I’m not staying stuck and listening to you, right?”
That’s why you have to keep going.
Keep starting. Keep being useful. Keep learning. Keep trying new things. Keep ditching the things that don’t work. Keep listening to your soul and what it wants to do. Keep listening to your customers and what they want from you. Keep changing. Keep trying.
Because if you do these things? You CANNOT fail.
Here’s to your beautiful shining light.
You have a gift to share with the world, sweet soul.
But the hunky monkey hubster read it and told me I needed to READ IT RIGHT NOW.
Which = Code Red = Urgent = Highest Priority Readurgency. (Like an emergency. But like a book you must read this instant.)
So anyways, I promptly ignored him.
(Because, you know, when you really really love someone sometimes and you’ve been in mad love with them for 13 years… you sometimes ignore what they say and carry on frolicking.)
That was months ago and I’ve only just started reading it.
And he was right. As he always is.
Good, useful book on motivation.
And I’m all
WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME TO READ THIS LIKE MONTHS AGO.
(Because sometimes when you love someone very much, you get to drive them batty.)
It’s chockfulla wisdom it is.
But this certain piece leapt out at me.
And I wanted to make it all pretty to hang in my office.
So I gots out my watercolours + had some delightful time with colour + water + brushes + fuckiloveartforever.
And I thought I’d give it to you to.
Print away, share away.
If ya like it, LIKE it. And pass the good stuff along to peeps. Share it along if ya want more treaties like this… then I’ll make it an el priority with my watercolours! Hot date with da paints!
P.S. Weeeeeird but true but fun — I read Bear’s books with his voice in my head. Actually, anytime I know the sound of the voice of any author, I can hear them reading it too me. It’s like a built in audio book! Two for da price of one! Weeee!
Imagine you have a whole bunch of friends over to your house. And you decide to make brownies. So you head off into the kitchen, and you bake them. And as they are baking, your friends keep popping in and saying “Oh my gosh! That smells so good! What are you doing in here? What are you making?” And you won’t tell them. Because baking brownies is your gift, your offering to the world. But to talk about it would be too salesy or marketish. So you hide your brownies from your friends. And you eat them by yourself in the kitchen. #sadface
The lesson here is: DON’T BE HIDING YOUR BROWNIES!
Have you told your friends/family/biz contacts/mama’s group/drum circle/knitting clatch what you do?
And if not, WHY THE HECK NOT????
You’ve got to be willing to take control of your destiny, say what you do with pride, and ASK for the sale. Not in a pushy, dirty, icky way, but in a genuine, “I love you and I have a solution to your problem if you’re called” kind of way.
2. Getting Stuck on the Details
Done is better than perfect, panda bear.
Lemme say that again:
Done is better than perfect.
Whatever you’ve been holding onto out of fear that it wasn’t perfect, wasn’t right, wasn’t done —
It’s time to let it go. It’s time to release it into the world.
An imperfect website is still a ZILLION TIMES BETTER at bringing in business than no website at all.
You’re only holding yourself back, panda bear. Time to embrace that imperfection in favor of forward momentum!
Ask yourself right now: what are you stuck on the details on right now? Now make a commitment to have it DONE el pronto. Make a QUICK deadline (i.e. this weekend! next Friday!)
So many of my peeps are so incredibly generous of spirit; they want to help everybody in the whole wide world. EVERYONE would benefit from their product or service!!
That may be true, love, but what is also true is that not everybody actually is going to buy your thing.
Think about the most popular, successful brands in the world.
Not everybody buys Coke. Some people like Pepsi. Some like root beer. Some don’t drink soda at all.
Oh, and by the by—unless you have a marketing budget the size of Coca-Cola’s, you’re not going to be able to market to everybody!
So here’s the secret: figure out who your peeps are and start talking directly to them. Get über specific! Know what they look like, what they think like, what they like like. Then talk specifically to them. (I’ve got fun exercises for doing this in the Double Your Biz course!)
Let’s say you run a yoga studio. Could everybody benefit from yoga? Sure! Maybe so. Is everybody in your town going to come to your yoga studio? Nope. You might find it’s people that like a certain style of yoga that you do, or it might be tired mums who like that there’s a kindy right across the street, or it might be busy professionals who like to come in after work or on their lunch hour.
Whoever it is, get to know them SPECIFICALLY and start talking to them in everything you do.
No multi-zillion dollar marketing budget needed!
4. Confusing Being “Annoying” with Being “Helpful”
I worked with a massage therapist one-on-one at one time, who was really hung up on not wanting to be “annoying.”
She didn’t tell any of her friends and family about her biz because she didn’t want to be annoying. She didn’t tell her clients that they could get the best results with her by booking a series of massages, because she didn’t want to be annoying. She didn’t ask people to book their next session when they finished, because she didn’t want to be annoying.
She needed a major mindset shift!
Because was she really being annoying? NO! She was being helpful! Telling people how to get the most out of your service (even if it means buying more) is HELPFUL! Letting them book their next session right away and not have to call later? HELPFUL! Letting friends know that you can help them with their problems? HELPFUL!
She was so hung up on not wanting to appear salesy or scammy that she literally wasn’t helping people where she could—even though her whole reason for being in business was to help people.
CRA-CRAY! (But not uncommon.)
And I will tell you what I told her:
How dare you hide your gift from the people who need it? Who deeply, deeply need what you have to offer. And you aren’t saying a word to them. You know you can help. You aren’t even opening the door to them… giving them the invitation to step through it. By talking about what you do, you aren’t holding a gun to anyone’s head and MAKING THEM do anything. You are giving them the opportunity to make a choice for themselves!
Open your hearts, lovelies. Give your potential customers the opportunity to choose for themselves. They will thank you for it!
5. Not Sharing Your AMAZING Results
Whatever you do — whatever your biz is — you create transformation. You take people from point A to point B.
And that’s amazing!
So why aren’t you shouting that from the mountaintop?
What I see a lot is that people get confused between FEATURES, BENEFITS, and RESULTS.
Features are just what your product or service IS: it’s blue; it weighs 3 kilos; it comes with 4 Skype sessions.
Benefits are what it DOES: it relieves your pain; it helps you find your passion; it makes your coffee, does your laundry, and takes out the trash! (I want that!)
Results are the lasting, life-changing effects. It doubled your business. It saved you thousands of dollars. It changed your life.
Whenever you’re talking about your biz, you want to focus mostly on benefits and results. You’ve got to tell the features in there somewhere, but the benefits and results are what are going to convince people to buy from you.
And how do you find out the results? You ask people! You’ve got to ask people for testimonials, especially when you’re getting started so that you can let them sing your praises. Feels amazing, right?
A Little Challenge For You Today
Get a pen out. Write down what mistake (or mistakes) you are making out of this list.
And brainstorm three ways you can fix it TODAY.
Then go + bloody well do it lovey.
Momentum creates miracles. The little changes can create massive transformation when you do them again and again.