Somedays I get so caught up in my head. In comparing myself, in believing things that aren’t true, in disregarding and judging and being divisive and just generally feeling a lot of soul pain. So apart from myself and apart from My Self ~ that is ~ You. All of you. Every soul on this Earth, every breathing tree, every panting dog, every swelling sea. When I am hard on myself, or hard in my thoughts about any one of You ~ I feel soul pain, because I am apart from the Great Truth of our Divine and Lovely Oneness.
(Writing that, I see that apart is a-part, so any feeling of disconnection or away from is an illusion and not the Beauty Truth.)
I decided last night that I’d had enough. That I needed – somehow – to make new brain synapse pathways instead of driving the jeep down the rutted brain thought roads of Not Good Enough Street, I Am Unloved Circuit, I Am Unseen Driveway.
So I went to sleep with meditative music playing in my ear, imagining all the angels rushing to my side just to monitor my life source.
I wake up, and somehow I can’t quite fall as low as I did yesterday. At lunch, a burly, beautiful man takes me on a walk. Past a sales bin, and there is a treasure calling my name. A gorgeous soft beanie cap (in the colour of “teal” as my New Best Friend At Work labelled it). Somehow, under its embrace, I feel safer, like my head is enveloped in Clouds of Gladness. It is my own little emblem of hope, an adornment on the altar of my body to symbolise who I am under the sky.
We move to the bookstore, and over and over books peek out at me from a woman with radiant grey eyes. She reminds me on one page that when we say we need to love ourselves more ~ it is not the truth. Because that makes the assumption is that Love is something we need to DO, and that we do not already Live in a State of Love.
I forget, sometimes, about that Love. Please be gentle with me, World, when I forget that. It pains me just as much as you when I forget about Love. And I promise I will try to remember that we are ALL in this sway of forgetting and remembering about Ourselves and Love. Sometimes I think the crabbiest and most jaded amongst us are the ones keening for Love the most. May I always Love them.
Such small but huge things ~ a beanie, and a book, to make things seem beautiful and My Own again.
As the sun set, I find myself giggling in the bedroom, rolling about with a camera, finding delight in my own gifts again.
I love you, just as I love myself, and I love what we are doing, and I will have faith for Us as tiny as a seed and as mighty as an oak, as much as I can from wherever I am.
With love, gentleness, magic and remembering to you ~ Leonie
Sunday was a day of painting on the floor, swirling around the room, following the sun like the Ancient Ones.
There is a deva inside me that I dance with, that I immerse myself in, listening to her gentle voice, the way she presses my hand against the canvas surface.
And in the moments where I need to inhale, to replenish the well, to connect again with the world outside…
I read the books of the woman who is a Soul~Lighthouse and lay down beside my healing dog.
All it takes is these little, perfect connections… to remind me that all is well, right here, right now…
be blessed, Leonie
~ More Connection journalling is at Inspire Me Thursday. ~ Goddess of Leonie etsy storeGrand Opening Fairy Party will be razzle dazzling its feathers v sooon… to be on the mailing list for the opening, please pop me an email at leonie(at)gmail(dot)com with the subject heading “I love your rosey posey baby~cheeks.” I am so looking forward to sharing some more rainbow art joys with you!
You know you’re not in small town Kansas-Canberra anymore, Toto, when you’re walking down the street, look up and see a freaking HIGHWAY above the building.
Call me yokel, but I just didn’t know that kind of stuff happened. It amazes me how close us humans want to live by each other… tribal communities in our funny city ways.
Speaking of close…
Noodles and hugs and kisses and words and wasabi mayonnaise and each other.
Happy, happy miracles.
Dear, dear friends.
Can you spot Leonie in this building reflection?
Flying home in the afternoon, me and my Wonder-Workmate, Smiling John, somehow managed to charm the flight attendant that we were childish enough to warrant child activity packs. We scored free Freddo Frog pencilcases (which consumated the day’s status as Best Day Ever), and played a hilarious blend of Freddo Frog Go Fish with great guffaws of laughter.