Ever have one of those days when you feel kind of blah, maybe a little grumpy, or just lacking shimmery-shiny-delicious energy?
It’s okay. We all do!
If you’re having one of those days, here’s a little medicine bag of power tools to help you shine again! And if you’re not having one of those days, bookmark this post so you can find it again when you need it! Hee!
1. Take a bath
Suds up, baby. This is the first place I turn when I get grumpy.
It’s much, much harder to stay grumpy in a bathtub surrounded by bubbles, with lavendar oil scenting the air.
2. Eat some greens
This sounds so mum-ish, I know. But there is a HUGE difference in my mood after I’ve eaten a handful of fresh snowpeas, or made my favourite green smoothie.
Give it a try… it’s good for you in so many gorgeous ways, including improving your mood!
Psssst… Want my favourite green smoothie recipe? Here it is!
A banana, a handful of frozen berries, half a cup of water, a couple of dates or a splash of honey and a handful of spinach leaves.
Blend. Sip. Enjoy!
It ends up red, but it has the green goodness inside. This smoothie is happiness in a cup.
For bonus mood-lifting magic, sip this smoothie while taking a bubble bath!
3. Go outside for just five minutes
Watch the sky. Feel the breeze. Dig your toes in the soil. Watch birds.
Trust me – this works! Mama Earth really IS the best healer for us.
4. Read a page from an inspiring book
My go-to is always SARK – especially Transformation Soup. Maybe your inspiring book is the Bhagavad Gita, the Bible or MAD magazine. Others on my hit-list of inspiration are Sabrina Ward Harrison and Louise Hay.
This doesn’t have to mean “change the world” or anything. Change how you are sitting. Stop reading blogs. Change your hairstyle. Turn the TV on or off. Change shoes. Move your chair around. Declutter what’s around you within a one metre radius. Give yourself a little face rub. Do eight deep breaths. Hum.
Or, you know, rock your favorite pink sunglasses for a fun and fabulous fashion statement.
It doesn’t matter WHAT that change is… even a small change to your state of being will help you feel less stagnant and stuck!
Just a little bit of change can make some shifts.
6. Listen to something beautiful
It might be Olivia Newton John’s “Grace and Gratitude.” Maybe it’s your favorite playlist. Maybe it’s an all-out sing-fest to “Total Eclipse of the Heart”.
It doesn’t matter. Sound is healing, and can change our mood like that.
7. Hug something
Yourself. A tree. A loved one. A puppy dog. Hugs are miracles!
8. Do something ridiculous and silly
Dance by yourself. Declare the rest of the day “Pants-Free Friday” even if it’s a Monday. Prance outside barefoot. Watch the most stupidly funny videos on YouTube. Watch a comedy. It doesn’t matter. As long as you are guffawing, it’s a good thing.
9. Reach out and give love
Whenever I’m feeling grumpy and in lack, I remember to do something nice for someone else. It feels like once I do that, the grumpy barriers break away, and the love of the world floods back to me again.
Try it. Tell a friend why you love them. Let a stranger know their hat looks good on them. Give something. Email someone you admire and tell them why you are grateful for them, and why your world is better for them being in it.
10. Make art
Get paint on your fingers and smear it. Journal for a page about fairies. Make a wax angel. Collage words from the newspaper into a poem. Just make the teeniest, tiniest little bit of art possible. Because you can, and because you are magic. It will make you feel good.
11. Cleanse + put love into your space
Our environment affects how we feel. If we’re surrounded by clutter, or by stuff that we keep meaning to get around to moving but never actually do, or just by stagnant energy, our mood suffers.
One of the quickest ways to transforming your energy, both immediately and over the long run, is to put love into your space. Cleanse it. Release the stuff that’s not serving and supporting you. Let go of what you need to, so you can welcome in what you want.
When I was 14, my brother gave me the best gift he could have possibly given me.
Of course, I did not think of it as a gift right then, right at that moment.
The most searing memory I had of that terrible afternoon was standing atop the wooden cattle yards, calling out wildly for my Dad between the avalanche of sobbing. I looked out over the long fields searching for him, out to the burrowed mountains. He was not there.
And as I stood there, looking out over the land I loved so much, I had a fierce, sad, sodden realization that my life had just been taken from me. That I would and could never be happy again.
Of course I wouldn’t call it a realization now. I’d say it was just a feeling, a thing that passed.
But then? There in that moment?
It was as real as a realization can be.
I was angry. Yes. Fierce and stricken. And recklessly, awfully sad.
My Dad arrived home not long after. He sank to the floor and cried.
My brother was gone. At 25, he died in an accident at the farm he was working on.
And not for a long time afterwards either did I see it as a gift.
I blew snot bubbles at his funeral. I returned to school. I walked through the rest of Year 9 like a gun blast had ricocheted through my world. A refugee, forced to leave behind my beloved country of Life Before He Died. I cut my hair short. I spent a lot of time crying in outside, between hay bales, nestled up to my dog. We played Bohemian Rhapsody a lot. My sister and I continued to drive in cars with boys to eat fresh bread and giggle in paddocks. Days passed days.
Gradually, the searing, fierce pain softly, almost imperceptibly softened.
This is the path of grief. This is what it has taught me:
It hurts a lot. It continues to hurt. It gets lesser.
Than it gets replaced by deeper. Softer. Rounder. Easier. Wiser.
Occasionally waves rise up to take over again, but for the most part, grief is linear.
But I am here to tell you about the joy of it. The gift of it.
I haven’t gotten to that yet, have I?
In time, sweet time.
A few months after He Died, there was an ordinary kind of afternoon. I needed to drive his little blue car to the shed for the night. It was sunset. As I opened the door and got in the driver’s seat, there he was. Sitting in the passenger seat, smelling of cigarette smoke and sweet lollies and umber deodorant.
I miss you.
I know Boney,
I am here.
That was all. That was all we said. All we needed to say, right then, right there.
And I put the car into drive, and we slowly drove down the long gravel driveway together.
More time, more days passed.
I began talking to my brother.
I’m just here,
he would say.
I know. I just want to hug you,
I would say.
I grew my hair again. Decided to go to boarding school. Studied a lot. Had a boyfriend. Rode horses. Lost my dog. Made art. Kept writing.
I would turn to him for advice.
What should I do?
You know what to do.
Yup. Don’t give me the shits, Boney. You know what to do.
When things got hard, I would write him letters.
And I’d hear his answer inside me.
I know things are hard, Boney. It’s okay. I’ll take care of it. I’ll take care of you.
I believed him.
I left boarding school. Got a job. Found a new boyfriend, fell in love.
I wish you could meet him,
I have, Boney.
I left town. Moved towns. Moved again. Moved across the countryside. Grew up.
One night, I made art with my love as we listened to the radio. There was a clairvoyant on the radio.
Call. Call now.
A voice told me.
And so I did.
I was the next caller through.
Your big brother wants to talk to you,
she tells me. What are you calling me to talk to him for – when you can just talk to him yourself?
He says to speak to him through the stars. And that he’ll always be your brother.
I tell my sisters and brother the message. They take my baby niece and nephew to visit his grave. As they leave, the children burst into song:
Twinkle twinkle little star
How I wonder what you are
Up above the world so high
Like a diamond in the sky…
My sister and brother cry. He has spoken through the stars.
I grow my hair longer. I keep talking to my brother – the one that lives in the stars now. One night, my belly aches. I am newly pregnant. I worry that I will miscarriage.
My brother appears at my window.
Don’t worry, Boney,
he grins. I helped bring her here. You will give birth. She is here to stay.
The moon waxes and wanes, nine times over. And on a day in March, a little girl is led from the stars by my brother and into my arms.
And so the days tumble. They cleave and they open.
They bloom new shoots, they wean old ones.
They shift and grow.
And the grief?
It turns from an all-encompassing sadness into something else entirely. An iridescent depth, a rich and faithful love of life, wider arms and an open heart to accept all of it.
For the last fifteen years, I have loved and been loved by my brother deeply. Truly. Delightfully. Joyously.
Our relationship hasn’t ended – it has continued and shifted and grown and blossomed in all of the very best ways. My brother showed me how to love through all the doors and windows. How life & soul & love stops not at beginning and end.
My brother gave me a gift.
I thought he was lost. I thought I would never be happy again. I thought it was all a mistake.
But he showed me the truth:
I was wrong.
There is nothing we can ever truly lose.
Where love once was, love truly remains.
Whenever I talk about the Creating Your Goddess Haven course, I get bucketloads of emails asking, “What’s the real deal about this course… I mean, What does decluttering actually do? Isn’t it just about having a clean home, or is there something more to it?”
And I’m happy to answer this, because oh, do I have lots of examples of how clearing your space makes room for so much more than just cleanness (though that’s a gorgeous part of it, too).
It makes room for miracles.
Here’s the thing.
Decluttering and space clearing isn’t just about throwing stuff out and wafting an incense stick around. Nup – it’s powerful. It’s like a physical prayer – a magical way to shift your life by changing your home. It’s alchemy. It’s divine. It’s transformation.
So here are three little miracle stories about magical space clearing and divine decluttering from my life 🙂
Room changing = life changing.
This one isn’t technically my miracle, but I totally get to benefit from it. And I adore this story so much it gives me happy-jiggles.
One day a while back, my amazing love decided it was time to let go of his music collection. Music has been his life and identity in so many ways – his CDs are like his own personal journal of where he has been and what he has experienced. Over the years we’ve been together, his music taste has changed. He’s mellowed from heavy metal. Yet still, we’ve been carrying around his boxes of music everywhere we’ve moved. They’ve been part of what made our spare room a storage room. They were a part of our home’s landscape.
So it was momentous for him to decide it was time – an initiation of letting go of his past, and stepping forward into his future. And it wasn’t easy – he felt nauseus, woozy and a bit shocked as he sold them and we sat in the car afterwards. It’s not always easy to let go of the things you once loved. In fact, it’s incredibly brave. It’s powerful and emotional and transformative all at once.
Later that day, I noticed he was working away like a little bushy-tailed squirrel in our spare room. When he was ready – he showed me. He’d turned our storage room into a meditation room, complete with pillows, music, angel flags, candles, a singing bowl and a statue of Buddha. That afternoon, we curled up in there together and meditated until I fell asleep on Chris’ shoulder.
And it was utterly perfect.
From letting go of something old, this miracle of a meditation room was born. Letting go had given my love the space to create something new to support him right now.
Feng Shui abundanceyness
Back when we still lived in our Proserpine house, I set up a little abundance prayer in the feng-shui abundance corner of our home. I used some green crystals, a laughing chubby buddha, and to finish it off, I put a Monopoly bill there for the amount I wanted to have in savings.
It was an amount I’d never had in savings before. It almost seemed ludicrously big at the time, but it also felt comfortable and right.
So I would look at this prayer everyday, and wondered what it would be like to have that amount in savings.
Two months later, it was there.
And it completely stunned me – it had actually happened! My little abundance prayer had worked! I was so excited when I saw my bank balance that I did a happy prosperity jig. HPJs are a must. 🙂
After that, I set my sights higher. I doubled the Monopoly money in my corner, and what do you know… I made that real too!
Like DOOD. Exciting!
Why don’t people say more that feng shui woo-woo can make you dobleros?
Do some clearing to get clarity.
Then there was the time I couldn’t make a business decision about buying a new microphone. I had one, but it annoyed me, and I kept harassing my sweetie to fix it for me.
He kept telling me: Hon, you’re not listening right now. You need to get a new one.
But I couldn’t. I was so stuck in my mind about the whole idea of it, and was totally unable to make a decision about it.
One afternoon, I decided I was really, really over being so confused and indecisive about it. I thought:
I really need to shift something to get some clarity. What can I do right now to bring it?
And in front of me was our coffee table. It was overloaded with STUFF – my projects, notes, books, paints, things to do, tea mugs. No wonder I couldn’t see into my future to make a decision – I couldn’t even see my own coffee table!
And a little voice inside me said:
This. Just work on this for right now. This is your job.
And I got all uppity and grumbly and “as if this will make a difference to my problem!”
But I did it. I cleared. I sorted. I shuffled. I let go of.
And as I put the last pen away, and my coffee table gleamed with space and trueness, I suddenly got really clear. All the months I couldn’t see what I needed to do – it was just so obvious now. And easy too – even happy!
That afternoon I went and bought a new microphone. One that made my heart sing. One that felt like it honours the work I was doing. One that I so needed to support me – and just needed the space to see it.
Bonus miracle: Chris went with me to get the microphone, and told me on the way there he wanted to buy a tin whistle at the same time. We go to the counter, and the lovely microphone man gives us the tin whistle! I like to think of it as a little thank you from the universe to Chris for dealing with my microphone-indecision-haze-and-grumps for so long 🙂
Making Good Space = Miracles
So those are just a few of the ways from my own journey that space clearing = miracles.
It’s not just about throwing stuff out. It’s about consciously letting go of the old to make way for something even more beautiful in your life. It’s about shifting the energy of your home to make your life sing. It’s about making your space a living prayer for all you dream of.
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Right now, I am exhausted, thrilled, overjoyed to the bone.
Life is good. Damn good. It’s all full from leading two retreats in the last two weeks and coaching and doing my inner work and being a mama and making friends and trying new projects. Living here in the rainforest is a magical and wild ride and I continue to be gobsmacked about how everything we need is right here.
And after a full morning of wandering the village markets and finding someone from my old hometown (hilarious!) and spontaneously joining in on a wet felting workshop with Miss O…
what I really need right now in this very moment is:
So I give myself permission.
And I think:
What a perfect time to remind you:
You have permission too.
Permission for you to give yourself what you need.
Since I wrote + recorded the below piece it has gone on to become one of my most popular articles.
And it never fails to touch women right where they need it:
right at the core of their needs, reminding them that all of life is a choice.
You can be gentle.
You can find a way to give yourself what you need.
You have permission love,
You always have permission.
YOU HAVE PERMISSION.
Today, and everyday, you have permission.
You have permission to say no to demands on your time that don’t light you up, and don’t give energy back to you.
You have permission to not give a crap what’s happening outside your world, and keep your energy focussed on what you are creating.
You have permission to let go of friendships that make you feel like shit.
You have permission to say no whenever you like, however you like, in whatever kind of voice you like, without feeling like only Mean Girls Say No and Nice Girls Say Yes. That’s bull. Yes and No have equal weighting – what’s important is if you use them when they are the best thing for you, not out of fear, obligation or guilt.
You have permission to know that Yes is powerful, and so is No. The power comes from you using either from your highest spirit and truest integrity.
You have permission to change. You have permission to not be the person you once were.
You have permission to get angry and self-righteous, and to also glean the wisdom from those emotions. They are leading you to where your boundaries are, and where they have been crossed, and what you need to do from now on.
You have permission to be exactly how you are.
You have permission to not be more like anyone else in the world, even if you think they are better, wiser or more popular. You have permission to be more like yourself, your gifts and your wisdom.
You have permission to not care what other people think of you.
You have permission to not try to change what other people think of you. You can’t ever argue that you are a good person. They will either know you are, or not. You don’t need to spend time with people who don’t believe in you.
You have permission to do things that your friends and family do not.
You have permission to be wild, expressive, truthful, exciting and outspoken.
You have permission to not accept friendship requests on Facebook, or anywhere else in your life. You have permission to block people whenever you like.
You have permission to share as much or as little as you like. You have permission to blog, or not blog. You have permission to Twitter, or not to Twitter. It doesn’t really matter. As long as it’s making you happy, that’s the best thing.
You have permission to suck at a wide variety of activities. It’s okay. You make up for it with your million other brilliance particles.
You have permission to be whatever body shape you like.
You have permission to choose, and choose again. And then choose again.
You have permission to not always be a perfect image of something.
You have permission to be a contradiction.
You have permission to not go to your school reunion, unless it really excites you and delights you, and you would love to really heart-reconnect with people you went to school with.
You have permission to not be interested in the newest fad: harem pants, geek glasses, polaroid cameras, scrapbooking, macrame. You also have permission to be totally obsessed with them, if it makes your heart light up.
You have permission to cut people from your life. You have permission to surround yourself with people who are good and loving and nurturing to you.
You have permission to be a disappointment to some people, as long as you’re not a disappointment to yourself.
You have permission to do nothing whenever you like.
You have permission to make your big dream come true.
You have permission to not do it all perfectly, or have all your shit together.
You have permission to not forgive people. You have permission to forgive people when it’s right for you.
You have permission to think some people are crazy. You have permission to think some people are smigging ice-cream with chocolate and wafers and sprinkles and cherries on top.
You have permission to not have the perfect relationship.
You have permission to not have a relationship.
You have permission to take whatever time you need for you.
You have permission to make ridiculous choices for yourself.
You have permission to use and listen to your intuition. To feel when things are off, and to remove yourself from them, even when you don’t quite know why. You will always find out why. Our intuition is here to serve us.
You have permission to be down. You have permission to be up.
You have permission to still believe in unicorns and fairies.
You have permission to believe in things that other people think are very very odd and strange. You have permission to not care. You have permission to believe in things that make your life wholer, richer and deeper. You have permission to make your own world that is the truest painting of you.
You have permission to suck at colouring in.
You have permission to say bugger off to anyone who has ever told you that you’re not good enough, you’re not worth it, you are not beautiful, you are not lovable and you are not the most divine, wise, delicious Goddess to walk the planet.
You have permission to know that you are.
You have permission to swear when you like, however you like, to your reckless abandon.
You have permission to not be the best of anything – just the best of yourself. And some days, just the best you can do that day.
You have permission to not always give. You have permission to fill your own cup up first.
You have permission to have things around you that delight you.
You have permission to live in a tipi if you want to, or a mansion. Whatever makes your spirit shine is the right thing for you.
You have permission to make choices on whether it makes your spirit shine.
You have permission to know you are a goddess, even when it doesn’t feel like it. Even when you feel utterly human. Even when you want nothing more than to climb under your blanket, or light up the sky.
You are a goddess.
You have permission.
You have permission.
You have permission.
BONUS: YOU HAVE PERMISSION PODCAST
And an extra special bonus gift for you?
The You Have Permission MP3 I recorded.
It is, in the words of one reader, “hilarious + bonkerdoodles + made me love it even more.”
This is me. Last night. Waiting for a massage, a pre-retreat ritual. Filling up my energy well. I found an exquisite massage therapist whose hands fit + is intuitive + kind. I feel like I’ve been looking for her for years. I told her cheerfully last night “I’ve officially added you to my support team of superstars!”
I feel very calm, confident + aglow as we enter into our second private coaching retreat in two weeks. I know these four beautiful women are going to receive such ginormous gifts for their lives and businesses. The more I grow + change + shift, the more I can hold the space for women to do the same.
Right now, I feel more calm, confident + peaceful in my life than I think I’ve ever felt before. I mean, it’s always been there on different levels. It just feels more solid now. Like it’s permeated into every moment. I feel sure.
This was the simplest project I’ve undertaken – a balance board for the little mermaid (who ain’t so little anymore!) A bit of board, some bricks from under the house + wa-la! Instant project!
I also have a Pinterest board for “Shit To Make” as a to-do list.
I personally don’t like using Pinterest only to collect aspirations. I want to actually MAKE IT HAPPEN.
I regularly go through and delete pins that I don’t really want to make, or that feel a bit “hipster-try-hardish” to me. Otherwise I get creatively constipated + start feeling like I’ve contracted a rare case of Inferiority Complex. Then I’m forced to give myself a creative enema and just MAKE STUFF ALREADY! STOP PINNING! LOVE UP YOUR OWN DAMN LIFE.
Creative enemas are the best.
After my highly successful woodworking foray with making a cart, I thought to myself:
“Phwoar! Piece of piss! ImagonnamakeTHEWORLDWOOOOODEN!”
So that’s what Imabeendoin.
Was super proud of making some wooden statues/puzzles/play sculptures for Miss O.
This is the fire set. Also made ze mountain + tree set!
Very proud to have made my 100th loan to a woman entrepreneur in a third world country using Kiva.
I truly believe Kiva can change the world in so many wonderful ways.
Or if you are already a Kiva user – I’d love for you to join my team of Incredible Women Changing The World. Since starting less than a month ago, we already have over 70 gorgeous members who’ve made almost $4000 in loans! Truly amazing work, women. I am so proud of you!
A new order of stationery arrived yesterday.
I spent an inordinate amount of time sniffing them.
Post-it notes smell AMAAAZING.
As do beeswax crayons.
And these beautiful pencils. (They are expensive, and I’m usually a cheapskate when it comes to art supplies. But holy guacamole, they make drawing so damn PLEASURABLE. So soft! Colourful! Peaceful! Sweetly smelling!)
Please tell me I’m not the only stationery aficionado/sniffer out there.
Annnnd I’m off.
Have four gorgeous women to pick up from the airport to start the next incredible chapter of their lives + businesses… right here, right now.
I had a vision just this morning over the kitchen sink: how when we start businesses, we are pulling around a big box of our gifts behind us in the dirt. And it’s hard yakka, and we can’t travel very far, and it wears us out. And this art of becoming a Business Goddess? It’s adding wheels to the box. So you can travel faster. And easier. And in a bigger way. And we keep adding support and wheels and more pull power to the box… and it becomes even more effortless. Us sharing our gifts with the world. With the wheels, that have already been invented. I have no idea if I’m even making sense here. It makes sense in my heart though.