Creative Goddess Fears: Religion, Already Creating & Signup Stuff edition

Hola gorgeous goddesses!

This is the edition where we cover the rest of the Creative Goddess questions, including:
“I’m already creating. What would I get out of this course?”
“About this whole “Goddess” thing… I don’t know if it works with my religion”
I’ll be answering the question that everyone {i.e. three goddesses in one hour} is asking: “Ummm, when IS December 1 in Australia? Aren’t you in the future? Isn’t that like OMG NOW!?”

First, let’s check-in with the talking stick…

The Sacred Talking Stick…

The talking stick is used by in womens circles. Originally from the Native American tradition, a talking stick is passed around in a circle. Whoever is holding the talking stick, speaks. Everyone else listens. And then the stick is passed on, each person in the circle having the opportunity to share, and listen.

So I invite you to take the talking stick if you are called ~ and you can check-in and share in the comments section.

And right now, here’s what I wish to give voice to about my journey:

Two nights ago, I dreamed that a big mama buffalo walked up to me. I was surprised, because totems have been my totem for quite a few years, but I hadn’t heard from them lately. Mama Buffalo took me back to her buffalo cave, and laid me down in a corner of the cave, wrapping me up in a buffalo skin. I felt so comforted and nurtured and protected in that buffalo cave, that I fell into a deep sleep. That night, I slept more deeply and soundly than I have in weeks.

My first real live buffalos

My thoughts about the Dreaming ~
I’ve been walking with the Buffalo as a totem for three years or more, after we were asked to take on names in a womens circle. {I will explain more about totems in another post for those interested.} Buffalos are a symbol of abundance, and they are also a symbol of strength and power. They are a sacred animal – they give all of themselves over to Great Spirit. Mama Buffalo was talking me back to the cave to replenish my energy that has been physically unbalanced lately. I so so so LOVE what I do, but I’ve forgotten to use cave time to sleep, re-energise and be nourished in return.

My second feeling from the Dream is the symbology of Mama Buffalo wrapping me in a buffalo skin. Like I am becoming a buffalo, initiated even deeper into her tribe. My love for buffalos and their wisdom is inexplicable, and unexplainable.

And once again, the buffalos are showing me how to walk the path of my life in beauty, truth and peace.

So that’s where I’m at… sitting as still as I can, remembering to return to the cave, re-nourish and re-energise…

And you, my sister?

Already Creating: the question

This one is for those of you who are already creating… whether that’s with dancing, painting, collaging, scrapping or photographing. You might be wondering:
“I’m already creating. What would I get out of this course?”

I’m pretty sure – about 100% sure – that you’ll get a lot out of this course.

I’m an artist. I have one or two days a week where I’m painting from 9-5. And yet – creating in a circle, trying new projects and mediums, and creating soulfully fills me up in a whole new way. When I have a Sunday afternoon Creative Goddess circle with other souls, I get so re-energised and inspired. As artists, we can get very comfortable in familiar patterns of creating. This e-course is to shake it up a little bit, and get us all exploring creativity in a whole new way. I forget sometimes to use art as a sacred journey. Remembering it in a circle is the best way to find it again. Plus, this e-course has a whole lot of different creative projects in different mediums and styles you haven’t tried before. I’m pretty sure it’s gunna make you ecstatic and make you look at and *experience* art in a whole new way. But that’s just me. 😉

The Religion question

I get this one, I really do. Because I get this question *a lot* whenever I meet someone and tell them I’m a Goddess.

So if you’re asking this question, I gotcha back sista 😉
“About this whole “Goddess” thing… I don’t know if it works with my religion”

And maybe from an even simpler level… “what is this Goddess thang all about?”

So, to make it simple.simple.simple, here it is:

The Goddess thang is about remembering that we are all divine. It’s about knowing that inside us, there is a Goddess, a Wise Woman, filled with love, wisdom and compassion who is waiting to help us on our journeys.

The Goddess thang is about reclaiming every wild, precious, profound, fabulous, creative, radiant part of ourselves, and *living* that.

The Goddess thang is about seeing, finally, with clear eyes, how utterly beautiful we are.

So that’s what I’m doing here. Creating ways for everyone to experience that, and feel that too. Because, damn it’s a good thing to feel.

And will it work with your religion?

Yes. Because it’s not about believing anything but the possibility that you.are.beautiful. And precious. And divine, profound and wise.

Women have been circling together for aeons, and it’s only been in recent centuries that we stopped coming together to share, create, learn, listen, grow and love together. Coming together again feels like a miracle, and a memory reborn. I remember when I took my Mama to her first women’s circle. She said to me afterwards “Leonie, I don’t know why I thought it was such a fuss before! It’s the most natural thing in the world!” That it is. Natural and beautiful and profound.

I’ve circled with and done work with women from all kinds of faiths – Christian, Hindu, Catholic, Muslim, Buddhist, Atheist, Mormon. And it works. Being a Goddess is a way of being – not an exemption from believing. I reckon we all just need to believe whatever makes our hearts sing.

And my faith?
I believe that people are good. And that the world is deeply beautiful. The rest is constantly evolving. 🙂

Now, the Timing thing.

So, I’ve been writing that Goddesses who sign up for the e-course & circle by December 1 get an extra treat in the mail for Christmas. Woo hoo! But then I started getting emails from goddesses in the USA & Canada saying “OMG! Aren’t you like in the future already? Isn’t it December 1 already?” And yes, I’m totally a futuristic Aussie babe living in tomorrow. {Tomorrow is rad by the way. Utterly beautiful. I’ve checked it out already, and given it the all-clear}. But anyway, a deadline in future-land is totally confusing for people living elsewhere.

So here’s my amusing resolution.
This tickles my fancy.
You can sign up while the clock is still December 1 somewhere in the world.
And wanna know where the last place in the world experiences the day? {This is exciting. I’m googling it as we speak}

Woah. Officially.Brain.Blown.Off.

The last timezone for the day is UTC-12. And I quote from Wikipedia:
“No human habitations are in this time zone. Ships using this time are the last to begin each calendar day. Uninhabited Baker Island and Howland Island are the only landmasses in this time zone.”

And yeah, totally, you can pretend you’re a seaman at sea at UTC-12 enrolling in the Creative Goddess e-Course & Circle in the last fragrant of Dec 12 for the WORLD. I am *totally* down with that.

But I really want to know now who gets to be up at midnight rocking out in yesterday long after the rest of us are in tomorrow. So… the search continues! UTC-11, who belongs to your sacred late-night lands? Well well well! You can also pretend you are Samoan, Niuean or American Samoa. Because that’s TOPS.

Who says I never share amazing sciency-geography things here? 🙂 I think we’ve all learned something new today. Anyway, the moral of the story here is, if you *are* wanting to sign up for the Creative Goddess e-course & circle AND want to get an extra treat in the mail before Christmas, you have until midnight, December 1 in uninhabited Howland Island to do it. Which is like 24 hours time. Or something. Just do it before you forget, mkkay?

If you’re wanting to sign up for the course, but not right now, that’s cool too – you can sign up right until the course starts on January 15. This call out is only for goddesses looking for the extra treaty goodness. And if you don’t wanna sign up right now, but am reading coz you love me, I still love you too! It’s all just so perfectly perfect 🙂

Loving you all – from Goddess SeaWomen of UTC-12 all the way to Goddess Womens of UTC+14 {Christmas Island}… this whole beautiful wide world over.

Big world love,

Gorgeous goddesses who sign up for my Creative Goddess e-course by Monday December 1 *today* get an extra Creative Goddess surprise in the mail for Christmas. I so hope you can join us in this magical, inspiring and creative course & circle starting Jan 15. The perfect way to begin the New Year!

Creative Goddess Fear: Odd One Out

Who feels like the odd one out: me! me! me! me!
{I think we all might be in this together…}

This week, we’ve been shining soul lights on what fears might be holding us back from experiencing our Creative Goddess selves. We’ve shined lights on What if others think my creativity sucks? and But I’m not an artist – I can’t even draw a stick figure! I’ve also answered some questions about the practical side to the Creative Goddess e-Course & Circle. Today, we’ll be focussing on that old goodie: Fear of being the Odd One Out in a group. Those words: I don’t know if I’m good enough, if I’ll fit in or if I’ll belong.

First, we’ll do a little soul-journey check-in…

Please feel free to join in the comments on your blessings, lessons and challenges.

This week for me has kind of revolved around the lessons emerging from my graceful face-plant into Mama Earth. Here’s the part where I share I’ve been feeling dizzy and exhausted all week long. After getting dizzy from the strenuous act of drawing yesterday, I decided that I’d crossed that point from fairly-humorous-experience-about-being-soulfully-ungrounded to: I need some help here. Something isn’t right in my body. It can take us a lot to make a stand sometimes, admit we are vulnerable and need some help. So today my love took me to my Happy Bearded Doctor. Everything body-wise should work out to be fine, so right now, heroic self-gentleness is my medication.

Just those words: heroic self-gentleness brings tears to my eyes. As though it is is something I have been craving without realising. Heroic self-gentleness means asserting my boundaries, saying No when Yes isn’t the right answer and spending a couple of hours this afternoon consuming a trashy Indian romance novel. Heroic self-gentleness means that this weekend – the busy art-making weekend of my year – I am learning the Way of the Turtle. Gentle, purposeful movements. Self-comforting discipline. Doing in a way that isn’t harassed, contrived or pushing – doing in a way that is more of a flow, a being, a graceful walk instead of a frenetic sprint.

And *huh* – wouldn’t you know. What needs to be done, is done. So, I’m sitting here, in the afternoon sunlight, still a Dizzy Lizzy, but more peaceful. More turtle-ish. More the way that things are supposed to be.

Yay! What about you? {passing the Talking Stick along}

Now, about that Odd One Out-ship!

I know of this ship that you speak of. I’ve been there. I’m an introvert at heart, and spent most of my childhood in the comforting friendship of my dog, horse, books, family and farm. During most of my primary schooling years, if you wanted to find me at playtime – I was in the library. Yup. I’ll meet you there, between the shelves of sacred books.

I never really felt like I belonged in a circle of friendships. I tried and tried – but it felt awkward. And sometimes sad. And sometimes it hurt, when those friendships became un-sacred. With all my oddities, funny shaped bits, wild laugh & Leonie-ness, I felt like a barnacle among smooth oysters. I didn’t felt like I belonged there – instead I belonged to the land, to my inner-world, and to my animals. And what a beautiful, beautiful thing to belong too!

I’m so blessed to have experienced those years, and am so glad for them – for every part of them. I learned that I wasn’t willing to relinquish being a Leonie to fit in. I learned that unconditional love was possible. And my inner world became rich and textured with stories and beliefs. And years later – I learned to forgive myself & others for friendships that didn’t work out. Every step was moving me closer to who I was supposed to be.

Finding my spirit’s homeland… and the place where I fit in…

When I was 21, I met a woman in her 40s who shined a beautiful light & joy for all to see. It was like meeting soul-kin. She asked me to come along to a women’s circle she was a part of. I had no idea what she was talking about, and resisted the change for months. Then, a week before my 22nd birthday, I relented. I said Yes. Something about the idea of women gathering intrigued me deeply, and I didn’t want to let the opportunity go.

I arrived that night at a home in the middle of suburbia. It was already dark, and the night seemed so quiet – so normal – and yet ethereal strands of magic and possibility weaved themselves around the moments. Deb showed me in, in to a room where women of all ages sat on couches and cushions in a circle. Sweet incense hung in the air, and reminded me of all the temples I’d visited in Malaysia a few years before. And when I looked at the faces of the women circling around me – they felt familiar. And kind. And sisterly. And deeply, deeply beautiful. That night we talked, and shared from our hearts what it was to live an authentic, loved, spirited life. What challenges we faced, what lessons we had learned. Women open and bloomed in the light of a women’s circle. And I learned what it was to not just become a friend, but become a women sister. The bond formed in circle is deeper, more loving and more honouring than anywhere else I have found.

That night I felt like all my tightly locked doors became unhinged and softly swung open. I felt like the mists had parted and shown me the next few steps to take in the journey. I felt like I had found the self I had been looking for all along – myself. And I knew that I would be in women’s circles for the rest of my life.

I’m so passionate about the power, joy and honouring found in women’s circles. Over and over again, circling has changed my life. I can talk over and over about the empowerment, sisterhood, enrichment and belonging that circles have given me… but the best way I can ever share the gift of it with anyone is to allow them to experience it. That’s why I took the Creative Goddess workshop and made it an online e-course & circle… because I so deeply want anyone who has ever wanted to feel what it’s like to be in a women’s circle to have the opportunity too.

When women circle, miracles happen.

You belong.

So if you are wondering if you will fit in with the Creative Goddess circle…
If you are a woman, you belong.
If you are a precious soul, you belong.
If you’ve never painted, or always painted, you belong.
If you are touchy-feely, or aren’t, you belong.
If you hope, or have forgotten how to, you belong.
If you don’t have much time for you, or you do, you belong.
If you’ve always wanted to belong, you belong.

That’s the beauty of women’s circles. That’s the beauty of sharing our stories, and joining with each other. We find ourselves in each other. We find a place to come home to ourselves, and be loved all over again.

And finally – we belong. To ourselves. To each other. To this big beautiful world. And to Love.

Two days left

I don’t want to sound like a repetitive clock here… but I don’t want you to miss out if you’ve been thinking of and wanting to join up. If you’re not wanting to join, that’s totally cool beautiful soul! ~ I just don’t want Creative Goddess Course-wannabes to forget the Christmas Goodies Date because they are wild busy this time of year.

So – if you are wanting to join the Creative Goddess e-course and circle, sign-ups before Monday, December 1 get an extra goodie in the mail for Christmas. You can still sign up after this date right up until January 15, but you won’t get the extra goodie – you’ll get the goodness & miracle that is creativity and circling just like everyone else 🙂

For now…

I want to give you
the blessing and love of the Turtle Way,
unconditional acceptance of the beauty inside you,
and the knowing that you are a gift to everyone around you.

Big Love,

Creative Goddess Questions

Hola gorgeous goddesses,

If there’s one thing I love more than making light of fears, its allaying any questions that come up. So today, I’ll be answering some more questions goddesses have been emailing me and commenting about the Creative Goddess e-course & circle. If you’re feeling unsure about anything, I’d love to help you find that place that is more sure about the journey you wish to choose. So if you’ve got more questions, drop me a line dearheart, or ask in the circle of comments. For those who’ve been asking questions, check back into the comments where I do answer 🙂

But first, a little bit on my journey…

It’s storytime again. Because I believe stories are mythical journeys that touch the soul.

Since my graceful & sacred face-plant into Mama Earth, I’ve been really watching my energy & balance levels. As much as I’d like to be a Do-Bunny right now, obviously my body is aching for some more Be-Panda time. This means temporarily giving up trying to wake up at 5:30 every morning to be more productive, and having some solid switch-off-and-curl-up times with my love. The next step for me is to actually schedule in a retreat time for me. Retreat time used to happen whenever it fell. Now I have realised I need to schedule it in just like any other social activity – it’s as important, if not more so, to meet my own needs before another’s. I know that the big truth here is it is *more* important to meet my own needs before a friend’s, but for now, it’s a bit shift to even think of my own being *as* important. So I’ll work with that, and the next level of understanding will come in time. I don’t want to feel overwhelmed by the lesson and run screaming in the other direction, so I’ll just work with what is most possible right now for me.

And what happened with all my fears about healing?

A few days ago, I wrote about fears. How we all have them. And not just about what bad things might happen – but the fear of the things we know to be good and true too. I wrote about my own fears about spending one-on-one time with my mentor/healing wise woman Ellanita of the Teddy Bear story. I spoke about being afraid of having my buttons pressed, afraid of it being too much, worried about spending money on myself. And I also spoke about how the Wise Woman inside me answered those fears. Well – I’m so glad that I went. I’m so glad I faced the fears, and walked into the healing space anyway.

I spent a magical afternoon with Ellanita filling up with a massage and reading. It felt like a pocket of time where I could put down all the things I’d been carrying and just sit. Be. Speak honestly about those things that have been dulling my shine. Be Heard. Be Listened to. Be Loved Anyway.

The truth of my fears was that healing didn’t press my buttons – it just showed me the ones that ached already, that were already asking for attention and care. And it showed me the path forward to healing them, nurturing them back to love as I would an aching part of my Teddy Bear inner child.

The truth of my fears is that I would gladly spend the money all over again on My Self for the peace, joy & comfort it brought to my life. And I am going to – one of my retreat participants has started her crystal therapy business, and her Recharge & Rebalance sessions sound perfect for this time in my life. {Rebalance – get it? ha ha!}

The truth of my fears is that I was given exactly the right amount I could deal with. I’m not overwhelmed with the healing to continue, nor the changes to make. I’m not untouched by it either – I’m living in a beautiful balance of what is perfect for me, right now. That’s the beauty of soul work.

It’s been a big, amazing journey of healing & life these past few days. I’m so blessed to have experienced them.

And now onto the Creative Goddess questions…

So we’ve been talking about fears about creativity & the Creative Goddess e-course & circle. And today I’m talking about the questions that come up about the practical parts of the course – as in – is this right for me? Will it work for me & my life?

First question… Time commitment. How much time can you expect to spend doing the Creative Goddess course?

If your time is stretched, you can participate in the course using only an hour or two… or if you get really into it, you can keep on going 🙂 There’s enough in the course to get you filled up and inspired for an hour, right through to however much time you’d love to spend on it. It’s the magic expanding course that works with your energy. The important thing is to do it, and be able to do it in the time that works for you.

I know our lives can be so busy, with some weeks more than others, so the course materials are bundled and given to you so you can save them for later & use at any time that works for you.

Imagine that we’ll be meeting up for connection, creativity, inspiration & a big mug of tea for an hour or two each week. Time for you to come home to yourself. Time to experience the beauty of creativity. Time to meditate,  connect, create, and be overcome with joy at the sight of paint on your fingers.

And if you’re worried about not having enough time & not being able to dive fully into the course – one hour spent in creativity is about a thousand times better than none. It can fill you up with inspiration, energy & bliss like nothing else. 🙂

For those who want to get *really* into the course, you can do that too…. and work on whatever calls you each time. Whatever is perfect for you right now, is perfect.

Secondly: doing it with friends & family!

I’ve been so excited & delighted about all the friends, mamas, daughters & sisters signing up to do the course together. I love that besties from across the world are enrolled to participate together, to share the experience of creativity & soulful inspiration to bring them even closer together. I love that mamas & daughters are enrolled to connect even more deeply – both mamas with teenage daughters at home, and mamas with grown up daughters who live across the country. I love that sisters are joining up to create together as a way of connecting, talking, growing & loving together. I love love love this. And I love that my own mama & sister are signed up to. Magical times must ensue. Gorgeous goddesses who sign up in pairs or more get the course at a discounted rate of $60 each – just email me {leonie AT gmail DOT com} and I’ll send a Paypal invoice with the special rate. YAY!  You can also sign up friends & family for Christmas gifts – enrollments before Dec 1 get an extra Creative Goddess treat in the mail for Christmas.

Thirdly: What art supplies will you need for the Creative Goddess e-Course?

First and foremost, I’m not an art supply snob. I’m kind of the opposite of. It’s so much more important to me to actually do it – create – and have fun with it – than worry about what I need to buy this week. My art supplies consist of a box of student’s acrylics – all different brands – all picked up from the cheapest places possible. A packet of half broken oil pastels and chalk pastels that I was given when I was 16 {ten years ago} that are still going strong. A box of wrapping paper from presents received that I keep for collage. A stash of old magazines from ones I’ve read, and some ancient National Geographics I bought at an op shop/vintage cheap shop for twenty for $3. A box of string, sequins and other stuff I pick up here and there. A few feathers that I’ve found on walks. Half run out ink pens and students PVA glue from the newspaper shop. And paper offcuts and cheap canvasses from wherever I find them. As I said – art is supposed to be FUN. It’s not supposed to make you have a mini-freak out about an extensive art supplies list. I’ve been gathering the above over the last ten years, and it’s really superflous to what I really need to make art.

This is *not* a painting course – we will be working in lots of different projects & mediums, so the supply list includes paint because it can be used in so many ways. We’ll be exploring sacred creativity in loads of different ways including journalling, collage, sculpture & mixed media. And if you’ve got a medium you really love working in or supplies, you can totally use them and adapt the project to them. YAY!

So, with that in mind, here’s the totally extensive art supplies list of what you’ll need for the course:

* Some paint.
Because paint is fun and it is bright and can be used in a thousand different ways for a thousand different things.
You can pick up a set of watercolour, acrylic or gouache tubes cheaply.
I recommend student’s acrylic because you can water it down to make it watercoloury, or keep it fairly opaque so you can layer it like oil paint.
Even picking up a six tubes of your favourite colours works great. Get it from wherever is cheapest or happiest for you. And go go the student’s acrylics – you don’t need the expensive professional artist’s acrylics. Anything that makes you anal about using it is not fun or good for the soul. 🙂

* Something to paint with i.e. brushes.
You need two brushes – one thick, one thin. Ignore the brushes made out of exotic animals with different textured hairs. Go for the big pack of five for $2. Because it’s FUN.

* Something to paint on.
You can use office paper. Or cardboard. Or cheap artist’s canvasses. It’s not important. What’s important is you – beautiful you – giving yourself the time and space to create. Because you can. And it will make you feel inspired and shining and amazing.

* Extra stuff.
Keep old magazines and newspapers and scraps of coloured paper (wrapping paper… hello Christmas) for collage. I’m a big fan of using what’s around you :).
There’ll be a project or two where you get to find natural materials to use as well. YAY! 🙂

And a tiny Creative Goddess story to finish off…

A gorgeous goddess who came along to one of my Creative Goddess workshops here in Canberra has gotten so excited and re-invigorated about creating since she can to the workshop. Like so many of us – she loved loved LOVED art during school, and just hasn’t found the time/space/inspiration to do it since.  Well, since the workshop, she got so fired up, she went to the art store and bought herself a packet of soft pastels. She’s totally relishing exploring with pastels… and has decided to try her hand at watercolour paints once she’s loved up pastels. It was a huge step for her to do it ~ and I’m cheering for her like a pom-pom short-skirted pig-tailed honey!… and I love that it takes just these simple steps to get us completely Creative Goddess awakened and re-invigorated again!

Three cheers for ALL of us!

So the lesson of today: it’s more about the act of creating and exploring soulfully than what you’re creating *with* ~ the moments of soulful creativity are the beautiful thing.

We’ll be talking about more Creative Goddess fears in the next couple of days – including: What if I don’t fit in? Am the odd one out or don’t belong?
And more questions including: “I’m already creating – what will I get out of this course?” And also about what the Goddess traditions means and how it can work for any woman – no matter what religion.

Until then… huggle yourself, nourish yourself, nap & rest…
just like my little golden spiritual mascot, Charlie.

Big Love,

Gorgeous goddesses who sign up for my Creative Goddess e-course by Monday December 1 get an extra Creative Goddess surprise in the mail for Christmas. I so hope you can join us in this magical, inspiring and creative course & circle starting Jan 15. The perfect way to begin the New Year!

Creative Goddess Fears: But what is others think my art sucks?

This week, we’re talking about Creative Goddess Fears. Yesterday, we shined a little soul light on “But I’m not an artist! I can’t even draw a stick figure!” Today’s post in our series focusses on that one I think we all face – as humans, artists, creative beings & sensitive souls: Outside Approval. More specifically, what if someone thinks my art/writing/singing/dancing/creative expression/heart sharing sucks?

But first – here’s the human side of living a soulful life.

Storytime about my sacred morning…

It’s 6am. I’m trying to retrain my body to wake earlier, so I can sit writing in the sweet peace of dawnlight. While my aim feels filled with grace, the actual reality of retraining my body is not so graceful. I woke up at 5.30, showered, and padded out to my little Medicine Wheel circle I have made in my backyard. I grounded, putting my bare hands and feet on the earth. My brain has been rather chatty & buzzed lately, so it’s been much more difficult to ground than usual. I’ve been getting about 60% there to restoring my grounded balance, but haven’t been taking the time to finish the job. {I’m learning so much by reading these words! All my patterns are coming up!}

Anyway, I didn’t take the time, and consequently, when I stood up to stretch, I lost all balance, and face-planted back into the earth. If there was ever a sign, that was it. I lay there, cheek and forehead in the earth, unable to get up for a moment, thinking “well, I guess my mind really wanted to ground… universe gives what soul needs!” I felt as though angels had placed me there, face in ground. And how did I know for sure? When I finally sat up, I saw the indent of my forehead in the ground. And two inches to each side of my ears, there was dog poo. If I’d only fallen a couple of inches differently, things could have been a whole lot messier. There are so many blessings and lessons in every little stumble… blessings that I am fine, uninjured and dog-poo free. Lessons that – just maybe – it’s time for me to slow down a little, take the time to ground, and take the time for my brain to swing from high functioning to chillaxed.

A little love note from me to me: I’m listening, sweet body. I hear you.

And a little side note from my Chief Elf, man of the simple wisdom: You might be listening, but are you actually going to do anything about it? What time will you stop the doing?

Chief Elf is my chief hold-me-to-accountability love god.

And now about that fear…

Yeah, that one. The one that hurts. The one that can stop us in our tracks, and stop us from ever – ever creating. What if someone thinks my art/writing/singing/dancing/creative expression/heart sharing sucks?

Oh my darling. I hear you. I hear you. I hear you. It can be so easy to be paralysed with fear – unable to create *anything* because you are afraid that it might suck. Or that someone else thinks it sucks. It’s something I’ve struggled with and have found my peace and way with, even though I still have approval-relapses.

I think the most important thing about this fear is it’s about wanting someone else to approve of our work, and of us. Maybe because we haven’t given that approval to ourselves. Maybe because we have, but want even more. Maybe because we want someone else to tell us that we’re beautiful, and of value, just like our work. Our creative work can be just like our own little soul’s baby – one that we want to be loved.

But – anytime we want someone else’s approval & love, it doesn’t work. It might feel like it works when they say the words we like and want them to say, but what if they don’t? What if they skip a beat and don’t read from the script we wrote in our heads for them like they should? Oh baby, it can hurt. Anytime we give our life over for someone else’s approval, we’re missing out on all the love & approval we can source for ourselves, from ourselves. The love & approval that’s sitting in our lost baggage carousel, waiting to be claimed.

The gift of releasing the need for other’s approval

When I first started dating my love, I’d show him my finished artworks, and wait. Holding it out for him to see, judge, shower me with praise. And his reply? “Mmmmmmmmm.” Always with the Mmmmmms! It would drive me nuts. “But do you LIKE IT?” I’d say, exasperated?

And in that monkish way of his, he always says “It doesn’t really matter.” In moments when I felt completely love-needy and love-fragile and love-searching, I’d lash out with emotion: “That means you don’t like it, doesn’t it! Why don’t you like anyyyything I do at all?”

{I’m a thousand percent not proud of this, but also honour that it was where I was at – and that I found the love & courage inside to grow from that space. It takes time. Healing always does.}

One afternoon, I went to visit Ellanita – the wise old healer woman who at the time ran womens circles. The same Ellanita I’m seeing this afternoon, as synchronicities might be. That particular day, in that beautiful Austrian accent of hers, she asked me how I was. And I replied emphatically “Good! I was a bit upset last night, because Chris wouldn’t say nice things about my art, but I feel really good this morning. I’ve told him that he should just say nice and supportive things all the time, and I’ll feel better about that. And he said okay, so that’s GOOD!” {I kid you not. This is what I said.}

I thought for a moment Ellanita would give me a standing ovation. You know – I’d stood up for my truth, and asked for what I wanted, and all of that. And I’d got what I wanted. I thought I deserved a standing ovation! Instead, she fixed her ocean blue eyes on me and said “Darling, why do you need him to say nice things about your art? Why do you NEED it?”
“Because it makes me feel good??” I stammered, in reply.

Giving away the teddy you could love.

And then Ellanita did something I think I might always remember, so deeply did its mark touch my spirit. She picked up a small orange teddy bear she had resting by her seat. And she said “Imagine this is your inner child. This beautiful, beautiful little child inside of you, so tender and vulnerable. So beautiful, you just want to nurse it all the time. If the baby starts crying, do you walk around in the street, holding baby out saying “My baby needs love! Please give it love! You need to give it love!” to every stranger who walks by you? Would you give away your inner child and ask someone else to nurture it, love it, tend to it, care for it?” She held out the teddy, outstretched, offering it to invisible passerbys.

The whole situation was so hilarious and profound, I began to laugh.
“No, you wouldn’t give away your baby, your inner child, your teddy. You would say to it “*I* love you. *I* will take care of you. *I* will hold you close. *I* will nurture you, and tend to you. I will love you.” And she brought the teddy back to her chest, and nursed it there, love streaming from her face, hands, heart.

I will be the one to love my art.

Whenever I ask anyone for their opinion now, I remember that story. I check in to see if, in asking for their opinion, I am really asking for their love and approval. Because if I am, I’m giving away the teddy that I could love. I’m giving away the opportunity to hold the hand of that beautiful, shining inner child within me, and the chance to say to her “I will be the one to love you.”

Our artwork is just like our inner child in so many ways. It is our creation that deserves our love, acceptance and approval. In doing so, we find the path of true love – love of our selves.

I’m so looking forward to sharing even more moments of radical self-love and self-art-love during the Creative Goddess e-Course & Circle. If you’re feeling fear, please know that you are not alone on the journey. So many women have these secret fears – but I feel that when secret fears are unveiled, they lose their power. In the shadows, they always look bigger than they are. In the light, when you can see and share about the fear for what it is, it feels so much more manageable. And in the light of a circle, with women gathered from all around the globe, miracles can happen, healings bloom, and fear takes a holiday. This I know to be true.

You are so loved, have a beautiful day dearheart,

Gorgeous goddesses who sign up for my Creative Goddess e-course by Monday December 1 get an extra Creative Goddess surprise in the mail for Christmas. I so hope you can join us in this magical, inspiring and creative course & circle starting Jan 15. The perfect way to begin the New Year!

Creative Goddess Fears

Admission: I’ve got so much to blog about, I’ve been feeling a bit stressed. I’ve got so many new Soul Story Custom artworks & Summer Solstice ceremonies & Radiant Raw Food recipes I want to write about here. As my love says though “Make it simple. What’s the simplest truth here?”

So I sat for a little bit, and let the simple come. And here’s my simple. Here’s my stress-free. Here’s what works beautifully: Next week I’ll start sharing all those things. But this week – this week I want to talk about the Creative Goddess e-course I’m running. Or more specifically… the fears that might come up around it.

Wise Woman Fears

I thought about fears this week, because in a couple of days I’m visiting one of my old spiritual mentors – a wise healer woman in her sixties. And when I say “visiting” – I mean getting body, mind, spirit and heart worked over through massage and tarot reading. And as much as I’m looking forward to it and know it will be good for my soul and heart, there are a couple of fears coming up around it. Namely:
“Oh dear. What if this presses one of my buttons?”
“Should I really be spending this money on me?”
and, perhaps the most strongly:
“What if this brings up something I don’t want to face.”

And I stay awake for a couple of hours at night mulling this over, until I ask the Wise Woman in me to step up and answer the questions. And in her gentle, deep voice she says:
“If it presses one of your buttons, it is a blessing. It will be an opportunity to heal something which wants to be healed.”
“Yes my love. You deserve to spend your money on your body, mind, spirit and happiness.”
“You will have brought up what is perfect for you to face right now. Trust that you are loved. Trust that you are in the right space for this. Trust that you will be held.”

Facing fear & hearing our hearts

And so I got to thinking that maybe we all have different fears come up whenever we are fronted with something new, and unknown, and deep – no matter how beautiful we know they will be.

So this week I’ll be posting on a few different questions/fears that have come up for some people around the Creative Goddess e-course & circle. If the e-course doesn’t call to your spirit to do – that’s totally okay. But if it does, and you feel a bit stuck in the what-if of fear, that’s totally okay too. We can talk it out, and find the sweet and simple truth of it – the truth that feels good to be in. Sometimes just shining a torch of awareness and love onto a place that feels a bit afraid can do wonders. I don’t want anyone {especially me} missing out on something that could be beautiful because of their fear.

Let’s go fears hunting & shining!

Over the next few days we’ll talk about all the creative fears and questions that could pop their heads up – including:

“But I’m not an artist! I can’t even draw a stick person!”
“I’m already creating. What would I get out of this course?” and that old goodie:
“I don’t know if I’m good enough/if I’ll fit in/if I’ll belong”
and if you’re really not sure…
“I don’t know what this Goddess thing is all about! Will it work with my religion?” (Hint: the answer is yes!)

If you’ve got any more Creative Goddess questions or fears – silly or huge – leave a comment {anonymously if you like}, and we’ll get to work on them and shed some light on them.

Starting tomorrow, we’ll shine a little soul torch into the stick person drawing fears. Can’t wait!

Group hug it out,

Start the New Year with six weeks of creativity, joy and inspiration by enrolling in my Creative Goddess e-course & circle. Signup by Dec 1 to receive a Creative Goddess surprise in the mail in time for Christmas!