leap of faith

.

i am taking a leap of faith.
i am facing fears, and doing it anyway.

when i finished school, i didn’t know what i wanted to study.
i was interested in SO many things that i couldn’t face the prospect of chaining myself to only one thing.
so i started studying a Bachelor of Arts, with major unspecified.
I started studying full time, then dropped it back to part time so i could work at the same time.
and it’s been a fabulously varied, albeit at times rocky, journey.
I’ve been studying on and off for three years.
I’ve studied anthropology, psychology, social policy, literature, journalism, australian aboriginal studies, political studies and economic history.
I have really enjoyed taking every subject that piqued my interest…
but I skirted around doing what my heart sang for.
and this year i am taking a
B I G
leap of faith
IN MYSELF

This year, I enrolled myself in Art History.

And I get afraid that I’m not going to be good at it,
that I won’t like it…
that it won’t work out.
that it’s not something which leads to real employment…

but you know what?

I’m doing it anyway.

i acknowledge the nay~saying
but i’m following the calling of the wilderness in my heart

i

am

l e a p i n g.

i’m growing wildflowers on my half acre…

__________________________________________


“My friend Annie once told me that not everyone wants life to be a mountaintop experience. She said that we all get our emotional half acres to tend while we are alive. Some people grow potatoes, and some grow roses, but it’s not our business what someone else does with their half acre.”

The Craggy Hole in My Heart and The Cat Who Fixed It by Geneen Roth

Quote thanks to the incredible Maitri Libellule
and I do believe it was given to her by our very own Joyful Dancer
just beautiful how this world works!

Happy Birthday Mooky



We are all the same… cloud watching together…
F A M I L Y.

My little sister Mooky.
18 today.

I adore you.
We all adore you so much.

I remember when you were three or four years old.
Mum put you outside the door, on the steps because you were naughty.
And you stood there at the door, banging on it, saying
HOW DARE YOU PUT ME OUTSIDE!
THIS IS SO UNFAIR! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?
yep, at the tender age of toddler, you had a fire in your belly
you knew yourself,
and you were never ever afraid to tell people that.

Even now, as we watch you finish school,
travel to Europe on your own,
head to university in a city far from home ~
you still have that fire of self knowledge.
You are passion, you are power, you are depth.

You have maturity beyond your years,
you are wise, compassionate, intensely emotional, sweetly beautiful.

Happy birthday, little sister.
You are dearly loved.
By ALL of us.

initiation


it’s kinda strange you know.
before my brother came down here for holidays, i had a strange thought.
i wondered, out of the blue, if he was going to get a tattoo.
i kept the thought to myself.

a couple of days ago,
my brother woke up,
walked out to the kitchen and said to me:
i think i’m going to get a tattoo.
i just had a dream that i was supposed to get one.

that day, he chose from the angel oracle cards the Dream card.

last night, we had an initiation of our own.
me, chris and brett around a small table. wine, vodka, bacardi rum.
minutes fall like autumn leaves
words slip from us softly, liquid drops of thoughts
wisdom.sharing.
honesty falls and flies, it drops, it dances.
we all smile knowingly. we watch stars, gaze into the eyes of my dog.
remember how to find those, our brother, who now live in the stars.

we are all linked inextricably. we all know this. we are all one.
we’ve been here before, done this before.
it is all remembering.

the rest of our lives merging to create those moments, the night.

the next morning we awake.
we make our way to a cafe.
there, a tall man with a mustache stands, hugs us.
my brother’s father dave. we haven’t seen him in two years.
it is good to see him, that familiar smile and skinny legs
that reminds me so much of our brother.

then all of us ~ chris my love, me, my brother brett, my brother’s father dave,
go to a tattoo parlour.

we are brett’s support crew. he is surrounded with love.


dave watches on.

and there we stay as my brother’s belly is painted in blacks and blues.

brett looks like a buddha in that photo.

painful as the tattoo was… it was an initation.
a symbol of the transformation of my brother.
boy, adult, man.
a return to his authentic self.
the way of the sacred warrior.
even if he is only beginning to realise this, i see it.

afterwards, we walk by the lake.


brett and chris walk ahead.

how wonderful it is to walk by the sides of three men.
men i adore and love in three different, beautiful ways.
how blessed i am.

we sit at a cafe afterwards.
i comment:
who would have thought. who would have thought that we would all be here,
each of us so far from our homes and our birthplaces,
to meet here, to share these precious moments together.

mysteriously magic how we gathered
to share in a ritual, an initation, of one of our kinsmen.

small things yes,
but the air is so filled, the everyday adventures,
that i wonder at the power of it all.

there has been rocky parts of our journey, all of us
and here we are, meeting in love & joy.