The beautiful Deb sent me this after reading the “Leonie is a Mermaid” post.
Astounding. Yes. Exactly.
Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful.
– Annette Funicello
Let your heart’s light guide you to my house.
Let your heart’s light show you that we are one.
The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.
– Marcel Proust
Finally I looked within my own heart and there
I found Him – He was nowhere else.
So today, I was asked by three people where my latest blog was…
It just made me sit up and think… Oh! People are reading this stuff! It’s part of their daily habit! Wow!
I remember back in the first few weeks of this blog starting, when dearest Helena wrote in an email to me saying it was part of her daily lunchtime routine ~ to look at my blog. I felt so chuffed by it! To be read by someone every day!
Then today, three lovely girls from work asked me about the absence of a Monday blog…
And I just didn’t realise that it would be missed.
So thank you, lovely lovelies for letting me know. I do so appreciate it!
The lush Lile emailed me at work saying: “If you need something to talk about in your blog, I’ll give you something.” She waits until I receive it, open it, read it. Then she walks to my desk and proceeds to silly~dance, and then air~guitar. It was hysterical, spontaneous and entirely sweet. The dear Deb visits our desks, and when she leaves, I am breathless for laughter.
So dear, readers… this is me…
This week, I feel a little bit like I am “in hold mode” ~ like when a plane is ready for take off, and it is waiting for its signal. Its where things have changed, and I’m just having a rest and reflection before the next wave of change comes to surge around me and lift me deliriously from my feet, toes barely touching the sand dune beneath. Change with all its murky mysteries. When the ocean surges, the water is opaque and unclear, and I am unable to see my feet or what newness surrounds me. It invigorates me and reminds me of the everyday magic of renewal. It calms me, it frightens me, it inspires me.
When the swell reaches the shore, and the ocean calms, I can see once again into the clear waters, to my feet and the sand, and find the treasures that change has brought me.
A bejewelled coral of new friendship here, a bleached coral of old friendship fading half submerged in the sand. I hold tight to both pieces, weeping gently over the older more fragile coral for friendships of past, and rejoicing over the new, vibrant colourings of coral for new friendships ~blossoming, blooming, uplifting~ for all its many blessings. Sitting on the beach, hair curling, sand on my face, my legs; like a mermaid come ashore. Cradling my pieces of coral.
Finding in the shallows treasures swept up from the depths by the latest waves of change. Shining pieces of beach glass, memories of my brother. Stirred up by a talk with a clairvoyant. I wipe the beach glass clean, reflecting in it love past, love lost, love regained. Love traversing distance and through the glass walls of death. Love for my brother, and the connection that still ties us. Soft tears falling on the beach glass, washing away years of grit and the tarnish of forgetting. I keep my beach glass close to my heart, and tell myself I will take it out every day and see it again what I saw the first time. Seeing my brother, a shining light, still by my side, still showering me with love. Still.
Gems of innumerable quantities and qualities finding their way to my feet. Surrounded by a swell of gratefulness and love and endless possibility.
The sweet seaweed of tranquillity and peace found tangled around my ankle. The other day, someone said to me: I love reading your posts. They always exude such peacefulness and tranquillity.
Peace. Tranquil. Words that have never been used to describe me before. I keep thinking over that. She thinks I am peaceful. The sound of this makes my heart swell. Peaceful. Yes. This is me now, how I am wishing to be. This is what I ask in my life, and this is what I am learning to be. I bind my seaweed into a necklace of peacefulness, and place it around my neck.
Shells. Surrounding me. Shells of creation. Shells of writing, of art, of painting, of photography. Shells that were always a part of my environment, but are now close enough to touch and embrace. Perfectly shaped, smoothened by the ocean, holding the sound of the sea. Each so different in shape and colour. I adorn myself with my shells. I, the Scorpio, the one of the shells. Shells growing, becoming large enough for me to lie in, sleep in, dream in. Shells around my wrists, hands, neck, waist, ankles, in my hair. Shells shimmering in the light, making a soft chiming sound as I walk and play and swim.
The sea opening to me. I feel the soft vibrations in the sand. Feeling my heart expanding. Being overwhelmed by love for my merman. From the shore I see him playing with our merdog, the waters green and blue and azure. Seeing him as he is. Falling asleep beside my partner, lulled by gentle waves. He knows this change this just as well as I do. My merman, my partner, my soul’s mate. Self-love, together-love, love emanating. The family of us, and our dog.
Yes, the seas of change have been moving. The waves churning me over, making me feel so joyful just to be alive. The need for delicious air driving me to the surface, the desire for submersion in the liquid of life pulling me down to play in the waves. Alive. So very alive.
And momentarily, the waves have subsided, leaving me elated yet overwhelmed. Softly reflecting, gently finding that which the waves have brought me.
I am a mermaid today. A mermaid reflecting on the beauty of the waves of change.
Have had a feeling for a little while now how my life is becoming what I pictured, dream, wanted it to be…
This morning I woke up early and went to the pool and did aqua aerobics for the first time…. I am beginning to listen to my body and stretch and exercise and eat well… Aqua aerobics made my chest expand and ache in a good way and I felt so refreshed afterwards, and so pleased with myself for doing it 😀
Then I came home to my dear partner, and my dog, and our lil house with it’s lush garden blooming… and I watch the rain outside, with my hair curling from the wet, and realise how everything I’ve wanted is in one room.
Rain refreshes and renews… it is a catalyst for reflection and growth…
My dear dog Charlie ~ we have only had him for two months and yet he is our family now… our little love baby and our friend and companion and family.
And my boy ~ together we are growing in love and laughter. Moving past our egos and deeper into love.
So many little joys in my life, filling my house and my time…
I made muffins ~ fresh and tasty…. muffins anyone? The perfect thing for a rainy day!
My marigolds are growing ~ my first ever seedlings!
Laying on the bed this afternoon… I thought to myself ~ what more do I want? And there is not much more. I am writing, and I have my blog, and I just sold some art… I am taking photos… I feel like I am creating just how I should…
Whilst work isn’t the work I dream of, the people who surround me help me to keep the joy even during workhours.
I get to study part time to stretch my brain… and still *live* without study overtaking me…
There is so many joys in my life
and I feel like my cup is overflowing… or growing bigger to hold it all
Thank you for letting me share with you…
love and laughter,
One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of
us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose
garden over the horizon – instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming
outside our windows today.
– Dale Carnegie
Photos I took today of the roses outside our window and in our garden…
Curling petals for sleeping fairies…
I love textures…
A rose against the sky…
I love the texture of wood…
Looking into the hearts of flowers…
Lush pink white red…
The reddest of roses…
and of course… the beautiful Charlie…
This is why I love my girls:
From: Allan, Leonie
Sent: Friday, 22 October 2004 10:35 AM
To: Koneska, Lile; Namara, Deb
Hello there my beautiful friends 🙂 Any ideas on how to spend our lovely lunch hour? I’d like to do something quiet and homely and sharing, but I am certainly up to anything! 😀
From: Namara, Deb
Sent: Friday, 22 October 2004 10:39 AM
To: Allan, Leonie; Koneska, Lile
It’s such a perfect day for sitting in a quiet, warm cave and eating yummy stuff and telling (more) secrets. We could commandeer Mike’s office and close the blinds and lock the door and light some candles (I have some candles!). Let me know what you think, but like Leonie, I am up for anything.
Today me and my beautiful friends ~ Lile and Deb went to the park for lunch.
When we walked into the park, Deb made us stop and smell the grass, the flowers, the damp, the rain, the trees.
Then we looked up and stared at the wonder of the overhead trees, and the shape of leaves, and the sky above.
We tiptoed over puddles, and revelled in the softest rain, barely there, but sweetly tangable.
We ate homemade risottos under a pagoda.
It was cool and rainy, and we were surrounded by green park and forests.
We giggled and shared stories and became surrounded by a group of teenage girls.
After they had left, we stood in the middle of the pagoda, right at its very centre, and we chose angel cards.
Deb ~ Enchantment; Lile ~ Emerging; Me ~ Friendships.
The friendships card was last, and was such a beautiful experience. The card has three angels on it, and we chose which one of it we were. And as we looked in the picture, we saw the reflection of the world we were standing in. The bird; the trees; the roses; the cards; the ambiance ~ all that was in the picture was in our pagoda and the softly dripping park. Such incredible synchronicities and beauty. As Deb read the card out to us, we stood, with arms around each other, and just soaked it all in.
Then we visited the Gandhi statue, and marvelled at him, and wondered over his quotes, and I kissed his sandalled toe. Then we plucked colourful flowers, put them in our hair, and walked arm in arm back to walk.
The power of three. As Deb said: Women weave the most potent magic in each others lives.
How right she is.
I sent them both this email ~
“Today was truly beautiful, and I’m just so so pleased that we are doing these things for ourselves and each other.
I feel like we are creating our own magic, and our own succulent lifestyle of loving, sharing and growth.
I feel like we are recognising even more the call of our spirits and bodies to live as they wish.I love that today we retreated to a cave to reflect and eat yummy, healthy foods, and open our hearts.
There is a feeling in my chest of my heart growing and stretching and loving, and as though a part of me which has been slumbering is now awakening and is ready for dancing.
Thank you for the magic in our ordinary moments.
What a lovely, magical thing for us three to be crossing each other’s paths, right here, right now, together.
I love that you are both so open to going along with my whims, and sharing your lives.
Have you ever seen a forest growing at the same rate?
That’s us ~ three tall trees, growing together, and holding each other’s branches.
This feeling in me is bigger than words ~ we are living the lives we dreamed of!”
And we are.
And what a wonder it is, to suddenly find yourself awake and living in your dream.
The conciousness, the succulence, the sharing.
Creating our own womanly magic with juicy living and sweet, amazing friendships.